Lonely

[skyhigh]

Hi, ever since I was little I have found it soo hard to make friends.ive been bullied ditched many times and my mum has be littler me thru out my life. I'm now 25 and still find it difficult to make friends...what am I doing wrong I'm soo shy I've tried joining a fitness group and going out with work mates but feel so out of place. I seem to find people who aren't into good things and it makes me uncomftble am I being to judgemental? Am I victimising myself I want to become a Christian I feel this is what's missing in my life and hav only figured this out a year or so ago.. I'm so lost right now and it's getting to me...

If anyone can shed any light that would be amazing..

 

[strelok0017]

If you're in such a situation know that God isn't like the world. Ask God to help you tho. He could be doing some wonderful things and you don't have to know but have faith. Regarding socialization, I suggest you try to talk to others. I don't know what else to say since I have the same problem.

I once heard a great testimony of a person who brought all their needs to God and God came through. I do believe a 100 percent that God doesn't want us to be alone. Separate from the world we must be but we should desire to be in a good company. Again, bring your needs to God.

 

[skyhigh]

Thank you..yeah praying helps alot

 

[ezeric]

Dear Skyhigh

GOD made people each with different talents.
And different temperaments as well, with some more outspoken and others more reserved for example.

That is all good, there is a place for everyone!

You also have dreams, and believe me, there are many 'out there' that will stifle your future and dreams.

Don't let that happen!

Also, you need to learn that the Kingdom of GOD or also termed "the Kingdom of Heaven" starts now! And this Kingdom, is real and it starts to change us (first) and then our outside next.

It all flows out of GOD'S un-conditional LOVE for you.
Not counting our sins against us - rather forgiving us and giving us HIS SPIRIT which HE is already 'in you' (trust me on this).

From that LOVE that is the LORD HIMSELF (in you) starts to flow (liquid love) through you and out to a sick and hurting world around - it will explode like joy in you and peace everywhere you go.

You've got all this - already!

Now you've got to learn to trust it!

-eric

 

[DorkiusMaximus]

I don't know your situation but I do know the world does NOT like us. It's becoming harder for me to find Christian friends, myself. I usually try to meet people online (I've met a lot of platonic friends through Okcupid.com actually lol) as it's easiest for me.

I was bullied growing up too, though for other reasons. I didn't *really* become a Christian until this year. So I grew up alone and without friends. It took a toll on my mental health. I've had therapy for social anxiety which has helped a lot. Thankfully I do have friends but I am on the hunt for more Christ like people.

If you'd like an online buddy, I'm here! I have a Facebook and such if you'd like to add me just shoot me a message.

 

[Koakku]

Just be open and be yourself around people and if they don't accept you as you are then they probably are not good friends for you to have. You should try to overcome your shyness it only holds you back, being rejected by people does hurt but the worry and fear of rejection will do nothing but hold you back it's really not worth your time to worry.

Matthew 6:25-27 "25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life"

Besides God loves you more then you can imagine, he has every hair on your head counted and he can fill the empty void in your life if you let him.

 

[turkle]

Hi, ever since I was little I have found it soo hard to make friends.ive been bullied ditched many times and my mum has be littler me thru out my life. I'm now 25 and still find it difficult to make friends...what am I doing wrong I'm soo shy I've tried joining a fitness group and going out with work mates but feel so out of place. I seem to find people who aren't into good things and it makes me uncomftble am I being to judgemental? Am I victimising myself I want to become a Christian I feel this is what's missing in my life and hav only figured this out a year or so ago.. I'm so lost right now and it's getting to me...

If anyone can shed any light that would be amazing..

It sounds like you are very self conscious, especially since you mention that your mother belittled you throughout your life. It is natural to have feelings of unworthiness when you grow up like that. I know, because my mother was like that too.

I think that the reason you are uncomfortable around people is because you are fearful that they will treat you poorly and reject you. When you have this fear, your thoughts are centered on yourself. The more self centered you are, the harder it is to make friends.

You can learn the skill of taking your focus off of yourself and putting it on others. The key is to develop interest in other people. Then just ask them questions about themselves and keep asking. The more you get them to talk, the more they will like you. They will then ask you questions, and you have a dialog.

This is difficult for an inwardly focused person, but it can be done. I did it myself. I have developed skills that do not come naturally to me because I was tired of feeling low. I had to decide to simply throw fear out the window and go talk to interesting people. Now, many years later, I have lots of friends.

Everybody likes someone who is interested in them. Learn to be that person, and watch yourself grow out of your cocoon.

 

[BFine]

I have this posted on my webpage for all to see...
it is good to renew your mind on truth-- do it as often
as you need to...that's what I do.

Your identity-- this is who you REALLY are!
Accept it...praise the Lord for it!

I am a child of God; God is spiritually my Father.
Romans 8:14,15
Because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."
Galatians 3:26
You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus
John 1:12
Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God

I am a new creation in Christ; old things have passed away and all things have become new.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

I am in Christ.
Galatians 3:26,28
You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

I am an heir with the Father and a joint heir with Christ.
Galatians 4:6.7
Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, " So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
Romans 8:17
Now if we are children, then we are heirs heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

I am reconciled to God and am an ambassador of reconciliation for Him.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

I am a saint.
Ephesians 1:1
Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, to the saints in Ephesus, the faithful in Christ Jesus:
1 Corinthians 1:2
To the church of God in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be holy, together with all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ their Lord and ours:
Philippians 1:1
Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, to all the saints in Christ Jesus at Philippi, together with the overseers and deacons:

I am God's workmanship, created in Christ for good works.
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I am a citizen of heaven.
Ephesians 2:19
Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household
Philippians 3:20
But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ

I am a member of Christ's body.
1 Corinthians 12:27
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him.
1 Corinthians 6:17
But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

I am the temple of the Holy Spirit.
1 Corinthians 3:16
Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?
1 Corinthians6:19
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.

I am a friend of Christ.
John 15:15
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

I am the righteousness of God in Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:21
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

I am enslaved to God.
Romans 6:22
But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.

I am chosen and ordained by Christ to bear fruit.
John 15:16
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

I am a prisoner of Christ.
Ephesians 3:1
For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of you Gentiles
Ephesians 4:1
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

I am righteous and holy.
Ephesians 4:24
and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

I am hidden with Christ in God.
Colossians 3:3
For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

I am the salt of the earth.
Matthew 5:13
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness,how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything,except to be thrown out and trampled by men."

I am part of the true vine.
John 15:1-2
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."

I am filled with the divine nature of Christ and escape the corruption that is in the world through lust.
2 Peter 1:4
Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

I am an expression of the life of Christ.
Colossians 3:4
When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved.
Colossians 3:12
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience
1 Thessalonians 1:4
For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you

I am a child of light.
1 Thessalonians 5:5
You are all sons of the light and sons of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.

I am a partaker of a heavenly calling.
Hebrews 3:1
Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.

I am more than a conqueror though Christ.
Romans 8:37
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

I am a partaker with Christ and share in His life.
Hebrews 3:14
We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first

I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house.
1 Peter 2:5
you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

I am a chosen generation, a royal priest hood, a holy nation.
1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priest hood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

I am the devil's enemy.
1 Peter 5:8
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

I am born again by the Spirit of God.
John 3:3-6
In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again" "How can a man be born when he is old?" Nicodemus asked. "Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb to be born!" Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. 6Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.

I am an alien and a stranger to this world.
1 Peter 2:11
Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.

I am a child of God who always triumphs in Christ and releases His fragrance in every place.
2 Corinthians 2:14
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.

I am seated in heavenly places in Christ.
Ephesians 2:6
And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus

I am saved by grace.
Ephesians 2:8
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God

I am a recipient of every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places
in Christ.
Ephesians 1-6 (The Whole book!)

I am redeemed by the blood of the Lamb.
Revelations 5:9
And they sang a new song: "You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation."

I am part of the Bride of Christ and am making myself ready of Him.
Revelations 19:7
Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Find things you enjoy doing and branch out to new things and find like minded people who enjoy the same things. Do not be afraid to talk to people, what's the worst that can happen (they won't like you and you won't make a friend?). you do have to "get out there" and meet people and make the first move sometimes. Be the person who extends an invitation. It's like guys asking a girl to dance..there is always someone willing to dance at a dance..

 

[manitouscott]

I completely relate to your struggle. I have grown up with rejection by parents and fear of other people and it has taken me from destructive friendships to paralyzing fear of any friendship at all.

For me it has always stemmed from self absorption, and being only focused inward. (Good post turkle)

I have found that since beginning my walk with Christ these wounds have begun to heal. At the same time, they continue to affect my ability to interact in a healthy way with others.

A couple of things I have meditated upon:
-Worldly Friendship to most people does not include trust, mutual respect and dependability. It simply means that there is someone that you talk to instead of ignore. Friendship to most people is very shallow and that is how they like it. That's OK, it is a starting point. I have the idea that I will find a true friend in everyone I meet and it just doesn't happen that way in this world.
-When I think about how welcoming and open Christ was to all who came to him when he walked the earth, it shows me the model behavior I am aiming for, and even if I cannot do that perfectly NOW, it is what I want to be able to do and work towards.

Awesome post by BFine, by the way.

 

[REPHAIAHPEDAHEL]

Heavenly Father give skyhigh a revelation of how much You love him in Jesus' Name Amen.

 

[Inkachu]

Sorry that I don't have any magical advice, but I said a prayer for you