Lonely

[BlestVessel]

As a new member of the forum, I'm just going to share one thing God's been working into my life lately, hoping it will bless someone.
God just sent me to Toronto, Canada from Colorado this December without telling me why, but giving me housing and some guidelines until further notice. I've overcome many obstacles the last few months, but the most difficult and the most recent is loneliness. My family is in the states along with my friends, God's provided a place to stay-with an 86-year old Jehovah's Witness, so I'm not just an alien and alone, but I'm feeling like I'm behind enemy lines in a sense.

The other day, my favourite author (Watchman Nee) drew to my attention the fact that when Jesus was idolized, when everything seemed to be going well because the people were accepting and embracing Him; it says even of the Pharisees, their hearts were becoming soft to Him. And it was then that He withdrew, He did not make haste to Jerusalem where He would become famous, but remained in Galilee for that time. Jesus did not expect nor receive the praises of man, because He was contented to glorify His Father, who is Jesus' purpose and fulfillment. Christ did not drink of 'the waters of this world', He had no root on earth, but He drank of the Lord and in this, He WAS never thirsty in spirit and soul.

After asking the Lord many times to give me a mentor, a prayer partner, an accountability partner, or the husband He has planned for me, I have decided that God will be my sole fulfillment, that I'll no longer look to the acceptance, acknowledgement, praise, admiration, and appreciation of people, but in great determination and by His strength, seek to glorify the Lord with my every breath. So long as I seek Him alone, though the world may 'crucify' me, betray me, neglect me, call me mad for my love of God, my concern and satisfaction lies in my standing with the Almighty.

Sometimes, we have to be without things in order to fully and completely surrender them. Now when I have a mentor, a prayer partner, an accountability partner, or a husband, my identity and fullness and joy and my knowing that I am loved will not rest in people, but in their creator.

I pray as you read this, God will bring to Your mind relationships that need to be consecrated [or surrendered and set apart, designated to glorify Him]. If your dearest friend betrayed you, or your closest relative died, or if anything similar happened with someone you love, would it effect your relationship with the Lord? Would you cling to Him, question Him, curse Him, seek Him? If you can't honestly say 'no man or woman is more important than my relationship with the Lord, no one can come between us,' what relationship do you need to give up to Him?

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

hmm...interesting

 

[Tara]

Blest Vessel, I know where you're coming from. I have always clung on to God from being a little girl, (that was many years ago), all my closest relationships have been taken away from me. Of course I still cling on to God. He is definitely most important. But that doesn't mean that you are not allowed to be close to someone or some people.

 

[IKTCA]

Dear Sister Blest Vessel:

At the depth of loneliness, we see our own nakedness and face the Greatness of the Lord. When we are bare, we desire the fellowship with the Father through the Son. Who will regret to have become forlorn before God? Who will yearn Father's love more than an orphan?

Be blessed my dear sister, and also bless us by sharing with us your treasures that you freely received from the Father. I thank you.

 

[seangoh]

thanks for the encouragement. Placing our happiness/emotions in God is a challenge especially for me.

 

[BlestVessel]

Blest Vessel, I know where you're coming from. I have always clung on to God from being a little girl, (that was many years ago), all my closest relationships have been taken away from me. Of course I still cling on to God. He is definitely most important. But that doesn't mean that you are not allowed to be close to someone or some people.

Oh, definitely, we're allowed to be close to other people, God designed us for fellowship. Many, many believers in the Bible had a close companion to uplift them and keep their focus on the Lord. Abraham had Sarah, Paul had Silas & Timothy & others, David had Jonathan. Asking God and receiving fellowship God provides is a wonderful thing, but I was more referring to the fact that-since close friends aren't in my life just now-being contented and satisfied in Christ in spite of surroundings is equally important to blessing others in friendship. This has revealed of me how much I've looked to the acknowledgement, appreciation, love, respect, admiration, etc. of other people. Whereas, Christ was unswayed. As the bottom of the ocean remains firmly planted in a storm, so Jesus' was rooted in perfect communion with God. Though Jesus had 12 close friends for a great deal of time, do you think He was angry or feeling down about Himself or resentful or disappointed when Judas betrayed Him and Peter denied Him and they all seemed to scatter during His difficult victory in crucifiction? No matter what people did or where they were, His hope was in God alone, His joy God's joy, His desire was whatever God desired. That is what I've been learning. I did not at all mean to make it sound as though closeness to people wasn't to be desired-it is, and in His time and in His way, He'll provide the needs of His own.
Much Agape Tara!

 

[KleinerApfel]

Dear BlessedVessel,

thank you for this thread. I'm humbled that one so young should be able to learn and accept this hard teaching from the Lord.

I am twice your age, (though in Christian terms a good few years behind, which probably matters more), but only during the past year have I begun to plumb these depths. I have wondered and cried out to God over the people He has brought into my life for a time and then taken away in recent years.

I know what you say is true, and He is calling me to "put out into the deep water" with Him alone, but I have really been struggling with this, so thank you for your encouraging words.

I know I'm progressing, because I recently sensed that a friendship was becoming unhealthy. I asked God to intervene in whatever way He wanted, handing it over to Him completely.

The result of that prayer has been a great and painful loss, but I know I am growing because of this, and I know He is right and to be trusted.

Many blessings to you, Susana

 

[songz777]

Yeah Blest .. i know waht you are saying and I wholly agree with you"""I pray as you read this, God will bring to Your mind relationships that need to be consecrated [or surrendered and set apart, designated to glorify Him]. If your dearest friend betrayed you, or your closest relative died, or if anything similar happened with someone you love, would it effect your relationship with the Lord? Would you cling to Him, question Him, curse Him, seek Him? If you can't honestly say 'no man or woman is more important than my relationship with the Lord, no one can come between us,' what relationship do you need to give up to Him?"""
The Lord is the most important ONE in our lives...He has tested me and taken things from me, but by His grace I have no turned my back...THE LORD GIVES THE LORD TAKES AWAY said Job.
Bless you John

 

[cyberwood]

Blest,

A very short time ago, I resolved to take up the journey toward knowing our Lord Jesus Christ, and, through Him, our eternal Father. I have been blessed immeasurably.

I have also lost much of the world. Many friends and even a fiance I have lost. Even Christian brothers and sisters journeying with me have turned back. I have lost my hope in the world, and when this happened, I had two choices. 1. Become unbelievably depressed as all of my hopes are taken from me or 2. Fall completely on the Lord and beg for hope.

The Lord leads me to option 2. It is beyond my understanding, but in my sobs, and in my complete weakness as I face the fact before our Lord that I am completely alone, I feel strong.

Often, when I am in the company of others, I excuse myself to go for walks to be with our Lord. I go on long runs so that I might clear my mind and submit my body and mind before the Lord. I read the bible every night so that I will not lose hope and be alone - because I am not alone, as the Father is with me and guides me.

How long would I choose to feel so lonely in this world? I sincerely hope all my life, because it gives me perspective. My hope is not in this world - it has died, and is dying. Everything I ever had, everything I ever hoped in, is dead.

What do I have then? Everything. I have our Lord, our Creator, our Savior, Father, Friend, Mentor, and complete Comforter. This is foreign to me, and I do not understand it, but it is Truth. I have everything.

Now, when I am given to powerful friendships, when I am given to a lifelong marriage, when I am given to parenting and ministering, when I am put up against the world, I will not falter, because I have first loved the Lord, and when I have lost everything, I have not lost the Lord, because I am His and He promises to keep His own and His promises never die, because He is the living Lord.

Thank you for sharing the Lord's great blessings in your life - we are all one in Christ now, just as Christ is one in the Father, and so we are knowledgable of your pain and your victory (which is the Lord's victory), to the extant that we know who we are in Christ.

-Chris

 

[honeybee2]

Cyberwood~beautiful words of wisdom. It is right to put the Lord first in our lives, and to seek fellowship with Him above all...You are so close to the Father, it shows in your words.
Blest~You also are on the right track, sister. To hear those wise words from two so young, it really blesses me. I pray that God will strengthen you and lead you into the fullness of understanding and fellowship with him. God bless you both.

 

[BlestVessel]

Dear BlessedVessel,

thank you for this thread. I'm humbled that one so young should be able to learn and accept this hard teaching from the Lord.

I am twice your age, (though in Christian terms a good few years behind, which probably matters more), but only during the past year have I begun to plumb these depths. I have wondered and cried out to God over the people He has brought into my life for a time and then taken away in recent years.

I know what you say is true, and He is calling me to "put out into the deep water" with Him alone, but I have really been struggling with this, so thank you for your encouraging words.

I know I'm progressing, because I recently sensed that a friendship was becoming unhealthy. I asked God to intervene in whatever way He wanted, handing it over to Him completely.

The result of that prayer has been a great and painful loss, but I know I am growing because of this, and I know He is right and to be trusted.

Many blessings to you, Susana

Wow, Susana, that's wonderful!
We're both on a great and exciting path!
Don't let circumstance discourage you because you're right,
it is His will that matters above all else.
Though victory comes at a cost, how God counts the
burdens we carry on this earth, so that our celebration at
home will be that much greater!
I don't mean to sound condescending at all, love, when I say
I am very proud of you!
None can say who is older in spirit and thank goodness!
Not comparing means we can learn from each other and be
used for each others' sake.
You're already a blessing to me.

 

[BlestVessel]

Yeah Blest .. i know waht you are saying and I wholly agree with you"""I pray as you read this, God will bring to Your mind relationships that need to be consecrated [or surrendered and set apart, designated to glorify Him]. If your dearest friend betrayed you, or your closest relative died, or if anything similar happened with someone you love, would it effect your relationship with the Lord? Would you cling to Him, question Him, curse Him, seek Him? If you can't honestly say 'no man or woman is more important than my relationship with the Lord, no one can come between us,' what relationship do you need to give up to Him?"""
The Lord is the most important ONE in our lives...He has tested me and taken things from me, but by His grace I have no turned my back...THE LORD GIVES THE LORD TAKES AWAY said Job.
Bless you John

Thanks John, and the Lord bless you too!

 

[BlestVessel]

Blest,

A very short time ago, I resolved to take up the journey toward knowing our Lord Jesus Christ, and, through Him, our eternal Father. I have been blessed immeasurably.

I have also lost much of the world. Many friends and even a fiance I have lost. Even Christian brothers and sisters journeying with me have turned back. I have lost my hope in the world, and when this happened, I had two choices. 1. Become unbelievably depressed as all of my hopes are taken from me or 2. Fall completely on the Lord and beg for hope.

The Lord leads me to option 2. It is beyond my understanding, but in my sobs, and in my complete weakness as I face the fact before our Lord that I am completely alone, I feel strong.

Often, when I am in the company of others, I excuse myself to go for walks to be with our Lord. I go on long runs so that I might clear my mind and submit my body and mind before the Lord. I read the bible every night so that I will not lose hope and be alone - because I am not alone, as the Father is with me and guides me.

How long would I choose to feel so lonely in this world? I sincerely hope all my life, because it gives me perspective. My hope is not in this world - it has died, and is dying. Everything I ever had, everything I ever hoped in, is dead.

What do I have then? Everything. I have our Lord, our Creator, our Savior, Father, Friend, Mentor, and complete Comforter. This is foreign to me, and I do not understand it, but it is Truth. I have everything.

Now, when I am given to powerful friendships, when I am given to a lifelong marriage, when I am given to parenting and ministering, when I am put up against the world, I will not falter, because I have first loved the Lord, and when I have lost everything, I have not lost the Lord, because I am His and He promises to keep His own and His promises never die, because He is the living Lord.

Thank you for sharing the Lord's great blessings in your life - we are all one in Christ now, just as Christ is one in the Father, and so we are knowledgable of your pain and your victory (which is the Lord's victory), to the extant that we know who we are in Christ.

-Chris

Chris,

Congratulations in the name of our God and as a member of His kingdom.
I beamed reading of your losses, only in knowing-as you do-that they are great gain!
You are a new example to me! I've read of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his
only son and Paul's surrender of his life and reputation, and the many martyrs who
sacrificed their very lives for Christ in the Word. Yet living in today, I wonder how
many are truly His, truly living in Christ, truly pursuing in obedience. I am grieved by
the many many I see each day who are blinded by darkness, but I thank God for you
and your salvation.

Since starting this forum this week, I've begun counting the
saved instead of the lost and as the heavens rejoice each time a spirit is born again,
so I am overwhelmed and thrilled to see that believers are still out there! Words
can't express that joy as well as my tears do. Beloved Chris, a word of caution,
though, if I may... the immediate temptation following obedience is pride. Please do
not fail to remember man's disobedience far outweighs his obedience, keeping in per-
spective what an honour and privelege it is to devote all of ourselves to Him. I have
no doubt you know this, yet urge you to keep it close.

In Abundant Love,
April

 

[cyberwood]

April,
Thank you. Your post strengthens me greatly. I find that it is only when I talk about the Lord, think about the Lord, submit my body before the Lord, sing to the Lord, etc. that I feel strength. Let more of me, then, fall on the Lord, as more of my old hopes disappear. If I want Truth, it will be given.

I am very, very glad that you posted about pride. I hate it, but I cannot stop it. I want it to die, but I am powerless to put it to death. My very first reaction to your comforting message was to explain to you how much I realize my inadequacies. Why? To exalt myself! In your few brief words of encouragement, there again stands my condemnation - this is why I need a savior.

Why must I speak so much? If I spend the next 3 hours explaining to you why I am not proud, what have I gained? If I am not proud, then let my words be few, and let me exalt Wisdom and receive Wisdom with few words.

Romans 3:4
Let God be true, and every man a liar.
As it is written:
"So that you may be proved right when you speak
and prevail when you judge."

Then let my words be few, that His may be many. If I am blessed with Wisdom, let me rejoice in it, and let Wisdom speak for itself. I am not Truth's advocator, but Truth speaks on my behalf. I need not justify what has already been justified before all the world through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Let's continue to grow in the Lord, that we might be found in Him.

-Chris

 

[honeybee2]

I am very, very glad that you posted about pride. I hate it, but I cannot stop it. I want it to die, but I am powerless to put it to death. My very first reaction to your comforting message was to explain to you how much I realize my inadequacies. Why? To exalt myself! In your few brief words of encouragement, there again stands my condemnation - this is why I need a savior.

Chris~you are powerless to put it to death, but the Father is not, and will do so if you ask him to. He loves to answer prayers like these, believe me, i know. Since i recognized the pride in my own life and asked him to deal with it, and teach me humility, he has been working so deeply in my life. He has been holding up his light to my life so that those areas are exposed, and it shames me, but you cannot change what you will not acknowledge. God is so good, and will help us to become more like Jesus as we yield and surrender our life to him. Bless you on your journey...

 

[strengthinweakness]

Blest,

Thank you so, so much for your posts here. I have been "hanging out" on CF for a few weeks now, and in that time, I have read countless posts on any number of subjects. However, no one's words have convicted, challenged, and inspired me as much as yours have in this thread. Oh, that I would learn to put God first in my life as unreservedly as you have! Praise be to God for the wisdom that He has given you at such a relatively young age! Thank you for sharing, my sister in Christ!

In His grace and peace,
Christopher