Lonely

[HydeGuy]

This isn't really a question, I just need to vent a little (okay, maybe a lot...) but if any of you have been in a similar situation maybe you can offer some advice.

I'm a college student at a community college. I live at home because it is a lot cheaper that living in a dorm or getting an apartment. I am taking mostly online classes, and drive 45 miles to campus once a week for a three hour class. I feel really disconnected from the whole college experience only being on campus for three hours or so a week. The rest of the time I am home by myself (with my parents of course). I absolutely love my classes, I am just really unhappy with my life situation being that I am alone at home all of the time with nobody to talk to or do anything with.

I am a Christian and go to church, but my church is really small (30 people or so on a typical Sunday) and I am the ONLY college aged person there. We have Sunday school and then a worship service on Sundays, but I quit going to Sunday School (which I feel guilty about) because once I graduated high school they moved me into the adult class, where the average age is 50+. I was the only person under 45 in the class, and I just couldn't relate to the experiences or anything at all that the class was oriented towards. So now, I just attend the worship service.

I really feel lonely and isolated, only being around people my age 3 hours a week, and even then I can't really talk to anyone being that we are in class. Most of my friends from high school are away at colleges, and the few who are still around are not Christians and really aren't the best influences to be around. This is my second year of college, and I am getting sick of just sitting at home by myself all the time. The past couple of months I have found myself doing things I really shouldn't such as going out and drinking with those other guys my age that are still around just because I am desperate to fit in somewhere. I realized though that I was doing wrong and quit going out with them, and am trying now to make a conscious effort to live a better Christian life. It seems God has really been convicting me lately to actually start living for Him, but it seems I fall down more than I am standing up. For most of my life, although I accepted Christ I really never went any further. In other words, it was a long way from Saturday night to Sunday morning if you will.

I just really wish I knew some other Christian people my age that I can relate to and actually talk to and do things with. There are many helpful and caring people in my church, but I find it hard to talk to someone that much older about what I have going on, and they really can't relate to what a college aged person faces. My college does have a very active Christian Challenge group, but I really can't drive 90 miles round trip to get together with them once a week. They go and do things together and have a weekly worship service and Bible study. I would kill to actually have some people to go to a movie with, or do something, I am just sick of sitting at home by myself every weekend and all week long, and that I could actually talk to about my struggles and my spiritual life.

Sorry I rambled on for so long, but I just have been really lonely and depressed lately and wanted to vent a little bit.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I was in pretty much exactly the same situation you are in when I was in community college. I just started at a university now, but I still live at home and I still drive a good way to campus. My church is small and full of older people, too. I'm hoping to make new friends at school and I'm going to make the effort to go to clubs but if nothing happens I've still got my family and my online friends. I don't know why but it just doesn't bother me much anymore.

Maybe you can look for a different church that's near you that has more things to do for college aged people. That's probably what I'm going to do (once I am able to anyway) if I don't find friends at school. But right now it is just not my top priority... I've observed that after college, most people you know move off for jobs or get married and then you're back to the drawing board. So, I'm putting my relationship with family and my relationship with my boyfriend (who lives in a different state) as top priority. Those are the relationships that are more likely to last in the long term, IMO.

 

[HolyOne87]

Like maycontainnuts said, maybe look at a more populous church. You don't have to leave the one you are at of course. Then when you find a church that has more people your age and stuff, find out if there is any young adult groups or if there are any events that get held during the year that you can go to so you can meet more people and find more people to hang out with.

 

[apple_on_a_tree]

I'm in a similar boat. I had a great experience at community college, but now that I'm in University, I have no safety net of friends or people I can connect with. I am discouraged. I am married and out of my whole destructive phase so I pretty much relate to very few people on campus.

I have been struggling with my old group b/c now they are so far away and I'm so on my own. I wait patiently and I try to be as friendly and cheerful as possible with the people I am around. Standing in line with someone your own age, strike up a conversation. That's kind of how I met my husband.

Take care! And don't give up!

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Break out of your comfort zone and simply talk to people. It's easier than it might seem at first, even at college.

 

[yam]

I am in the same stituation.I attend a community college too and live at home. I have friends at the college we do not hank out 'but we talk on the phone and Im. I am not a social person either, but I love meeting new people every semester.Try to meet new people on campus.I am sure u will meet someone that u share something in common with.

 

[insomniac86zach]

I can identify with you to a certain degree. I attend a very large university (50,000 undergraduate's on campus at the main campus) and I am in my senior year with this program. However, for my first two years I attended a smaller branch campus, where there was only about 2,500 undergraduates attending the campus, and most of those were commuters. I'm not a very socially graceful person, so when I was at the smaller campus, it was nice because I generally saw the same people regularly for two academic years.

When I came to main campus though, I find myself now lost in a sea of people. I've learned to just take it all in. I can approach people, and just strike up a conversation about anything. Bus rides and waiting in line for anything are great times to strike up conversations with people.

I've started conversation with a guy wearing a hat of my favorite NFL team, I've started conversation with a girl about how crazy the bus driver was (he was insane, I wished I had a seatbelt).

So pretty much, like that other guy said, you just have to break out of your comfort zone. It seems really hard at first, but after you start up a random conversation once, it only gets easier. And you'll start to enjoy it too!

 

[frenzy]

You could always try to get connected with groups from a bigger church. Also, maybe sign up for a club at your school, or join a college-age bowling league or something.