Loneliness?

[Thithy]

I look in my wallet and think to myself "Man, if I weren't single, this would be half empty! Praise God!"

Ah ha ha!!! That makes me laugh.

But how I deal with being "lonely". I just look at it as not being my time. I realize that I have time to spend with my friends (male and female) and I have more time for God. Which is always a plus.

 

[gizmo03]

But how I deal with being "lonely". I just look at it as not being my time. I realize that I have time to spend with my friends (male and female) and I have more time for God. Which is always a plus.

I try to remember that and repeat it over and over again whenever I am down and upset for not having someone special in my life. But I am not actually looking for a relationship, only been in one but that has turned me away from it. I have went out on a few dates. But I want someone special in my life without having the relationship tag.

 

[Living4Him03]

I usually busy myself with school or reading or writing. Spending time with family. Doing stuff alone like watching movies. Praying and studying God's Word. Lately I've been trying to get involved with the singles group at the church I've been visiting, but that's been kind of a challenge, so we'll see. I haven't assumed God wants me to marry, so I'm seeking His will in that.

 

[St. Amadeus II]

What is one to do when they can't fill that void w/friends or family or God or Scripture?

 

[KeilCoppes]

What is one to do when they can't fill that void w/friends or family or God or Scripture?

Number one is to realize that voids like that never fill in immediately. Fact of the matter is that God does indeed fill in the void, but it takes lots of time, prayer, and walking. The hardest thing to do in all of this, though, is to give up what made the void and build beyond it. The thing that makes those holes are the parts of yourself that say you .must. have, when in fact you don't - those things are blessings.

I've been years in stitching the void closed. The fundamentals change with perspective, but the practicals and emotions take time and practice. And every day starts over with coming back to God. He's the only thing that doesn't change.

Dt 31:8 And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed."

 

[St. Amadeus II]

Number one is to realize that voids like that never fill in immediately. Fact of the matter is that God does indeed fill in the void, but it takes lots of time, prayer, and walking. The hardest thing to do in all of this, though, is to give up what made the void and build beyond it. The thing that makes those holes are the parts of yourself that say you .must. have, when in fact you don't - those things are blessings.

I've been years in stitching the void closed. The fundamentals change with perspective, but the practicals and emotions take time and practice.

I know your advice is legitimate and good hearted, but it's one of those things that are easier-said-than-done. I don't see why it must be so hard to fill that girl-shaped void. Why can't we all just get along and respect each other's needs. But I know that idea is crazy and just as easily said than done as your advice.

 

[KeilCoppes]

I know your advice is legitimate and good hearted, but it's one of those things that are easier-said-than-done. I don't see why it must be so hard to fill that girl-shaped void. Why can't we all just get along and respect each other's needs. But I know that idea is crazy and just as easily said than done as your advice.

Who ever said it was ..easy..?! I've gotten my heart out of bed and stepped into pain for weeks on end. The days when your heart feels like it ways about 40 tons and tears inside you with every step you take? That month when everything was grey? The years when you were amazed to actually see that there were actually other singles of like faith, even though you knew they were with someone else or it absolutely wouldn't work because they were too far away or just too different? I've been there and it's only been three months since the last hit.

The days when you're almost absolutely .sure. there's no one left on the planet for you, that you're past the reasonable gates in life? Just 18? You have years and years left. You think I don't know? I spent decades looking in the wrong direction and taking the consequences to my heart as I stomped on it through misdirection and having other people go right on by time and time again. Don't be defeated, get your balance straight and get back in there. I'll tell you, though, if you believe that a girl will fill that hole, you have something left to learn. She may seem to for a while (and be truly a great blessing), but no person can fill that space of hopes and dreams, because no person can be your practical salvation. That's unfair to them and won't solve life for you. If you don't have things straight within yourself, then you'll find yourself looking outward again. _And_ hurting more or more scarred than when you started, and then learning to wear the scars and ultimately wondering if they will ever be healed, or if that part of you is simply broken, maimed, and crushed forever.

It's not simple, and like so many things in life never will be. We were .made. for communion.

I know what God has given and His grace, even when remembering and thinking brings back the pain and to some extent, the agony in echo. And yet, God heals and has healed and made alive and strong again. That place of pain is not where to live when God has so many blessings and may still bring that one. There is only one foundation to build on and whatever you build, it will not pass that final gate in life. Only God endures - it took me years to learn that. I thank Him that He often gives companions on the walk to that gate, though there are no guarantees. More than that, though, is who He is and His own love and strength, even if He blesses with a marriage.

Pax. May you find peace. And may you find love.

 

[jlhart76]

I've been struggling with this for years, & only in the past 12-18 months have I learned that I have to be happy with who I am before I could hope to be in a mature, healthy relationship with anyone. I've been reading this book, "If Singleness is a Gift, What's the Return Policy?" & it's really been great. I catch myself saying, "exactly! I know what you're going through!" As for the lonliness, I keep busy with volunteer work & my work in children's ministry. I figure right now it's time to learn to be happy, find what I'm passionate about & where my priorities are, so that when I do meet the man God chose for me I'll be able to commit my whole self to the relationship.

 

[Living4Him03]

What is one to do when they can't fill that void w/friends or family or God or Scripture?

Good question

 

[Ginga]

Well, i don't handle the loneliness that well. I just ride my way through it with the knowledge that God knows best, and that he loves me enough to fill any gap if i let him in. It's hard, and depression comes easily, but it's what i do.

 

[DANgerousEJ]

I hop in my hatchback and go for a drive and listen to music. I donno...I don't do very well with loneliness. It's kinda frustrating seeing so many people that are Christians going through the loneliness stages. I just moved to a new town, so I'm really lonely...needless to say, I do a lot of driving.

 

[Wild_Fan4Christ]

I hop in my hatchback and go for a drive and listen to music. I donno...I don't do very well with loneliness. It's kinda frustrating seeing so many people that are Christians going through the loneliness stages. I just moved to a new town, so I'm really lonely...needless to say, I do a lot of driving.

I am like you DAN, I moved to a new town as well and don't know barely anyone which makes it especially hard. Driving around is nice, but even that gets old. Seems like every day is the same. Wake up, go to work, eat, and sleep and repeat the next without any change.

 

[seangoh]

hmm..is it possible for you guys to be part of a club or something? For me i found a small tennis group where tennis enthusiasts are welcome. That is one way meeting new people.

 

[DANgerousEJ]

hmm..is it possible for you guys to be part of a club or something? For me i found a small tennis group where tennis enthusiasts are welcome. That is one way meeting new people.

I did hang out with a bunch of guys in Seattle, WA when I lived there. It was basically honda/acura enthusiasts. Not really anything like that where I live now.

 

[gentlewhisper]

Some days the lonliness is worse than a toothache. The inner pain makes my head swell and I get tight chested, have trouble with normal breathing.
I've silenced it in MANY ways. Alcohol, a drug, massage parlors, flirting or more, going for a drive in my car. I try praying but my head pounds from the unbearable inner pain and I can't concentrate.

This isn't living.

 

[DANgerousEJ]

Some days the lonliness is worse than a toothache. The inner pain makes my head swell and I get tight chested, have trouble with normal breathing.
I've silenced it in MANY ways. Alcohol, a drug, massage parlors, flirting or more, going for a drive in my car. I try praying but my head pounds from the unbearable inner pain and I can't concentrate.

This isn't living.

I hear ya...I've felt that way most of my life. So I must not be living either.

 

[Ms_Tweet]

I try to do something else to keep my mind off of it. I t maybe something like reading a book, going out with friends, going to church, or sleeping.

 

[St. Amadeus II]

I hear ya...I've felt that way most of my life. So I must not be living either.

Amen!

If only the people that cause us to be lonely knew just how we felt...

 

[Inperfected]

Talk to that person above, but also hook into some same sex friendships.... helps heaps i find...

 

[paging_jonah]

Music is my means of taking my mind off of my current situation of being lonely. As soon as I pick up my guitar or put on my headphones its like nothing else matters.