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Loneliness?
- Thread starter Koraley
- Start date
For me, loneliness isn't synonymous with lacking a significant other. I get lonely, but not because I don't have a romantic relationship. I get lonely when I'm lacking deep friendship. When I'm away from my closest friends and unable to spend time with them. So for me, I need to spend time talking with close friends. Hugs are great too when I can physically be with my friends 
If nothing else, emailing close friends in order to at least have some communication going helps me some. Praying helps some, but sometimes it actually makes me feel lonelier - basically homesick for heaven...
If nothing else, emailing close friends in order to at least have some communication going helps me some. Praying helps some, but sometimes it actually makes me feel lonelier - basically homesick for heaven...
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seangoh
Veteran
Whoa, coincidently i posted 2 threads about that. Check it out.
Christian and Single. What's a person to do?
It's Ok To Be Lonely
Christian and Single. What's a person to do?
It's Ok To Be Lonely
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seangoh said:
Those are both really, really long
BTW, are they copyrighted material? Cause with something that long, I think you need permission even if you include the reference.
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i may be weird, but i look forward to my seasons of loneliness. whenever i get lonely, i look at it as God drawing me even closer to Him! i'm nowhere near as dependent on Him as i should be and it's nice to have the reminders that i need to, once again, give Him everything! instead of sulking around, i encourage you all to draw closer to Him everytime you are lonely.
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I look in my wallet and think to myself "Man, if I weren't single, this would be half empty! Praise God!"
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Forget waiting around and go live life. lol. Maybe that's a fancy way of saying go find a diversion?
Books, hobbies, and stuff.
Books, hobbies, and stuff.
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Stanfi
Senior Veteran
Ask God to fill the void of lonliness in your life. Ask Him to help you cultivate good qualtity friendships. Don't expect a romantic relationship to fill this void. First it is to much to put this pressure on another human being, plus the addeded pressures of a romantic relationship may just make things worse.Koraley said:
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Macrina
Macrinator
Koraley said:
Well, for one thing, I don't consider myself to be waiting. I think of myself as a disciple journeying through life, learning and growing every day. I am focused on ministry, service, and yes -- even taking care of myself. I do not feel like my life is in any way "on hold" until "the right person comes along."
To be honest, I don't know if I'll ever marry. I can't predict what God holds for me, but on the other hand I am quite happy with the gifts he has given me presently. The joking line in my sig is an allusion to the fact that it would take something pretty special to make me want to stop being single.
I guess that's the thing... I don't think of singleness as a "lack" of partnership, an emptiness waiting to be filled... I think of it as a state of being which can be just as fulfilling as any other.
All people get lonely from time to time, no matter their marital status. In fact, some of my married friends have experienced a good deal of bitterness during their lonely periods, because they expected that having a spouse would keep them from that. Loneliness is not a function of marital status; it is a function of 1) one's social network, and 2) one's comfort in being oneself.
To take #2 first, I have had to learn over the years to be comfortable with myself, by myself. Actually, I think it's easier for me than for some people, because I am introverted and like to spend time alone. I like living alone and having my own space, and my energy is drained when I am around people constantly.
As for #1, the social network, I have learned that -- introvert or not -- I have to get out there and make friends. We don't have a "built-in best friend" that one might find in a spouse, but that doesn't mean that we don't have a multitude of opportunities. It's just a matter of being very intentional about forming those bonds.
I'm experiencing a bit of this now... I have just moved to a new region and had to leave my dearest friends. We keep in touch via email and telephone, but of course it isn't the same. So I have made efforts to get to know others in the area here so that when I am alone, it is because I choose to be -- and not because I'm lonely. Lonely and alone are two different things.
One of the reasons I joined CF is because I don't know a lot of people here yet outside of my congregation (I am a pastor) and I wanted to extend my social network broader than just my own small town. It has been wonderful meeting people here, and I don't feel lonely.
Sorry for being long-winded... I didn't mean to write a dissertation...
Mac
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sweetlambofgod
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I just spend time with family and friends cuz I know when the time is right so will the right one.
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Mr Morning
God's 'Work In Progress'
That's if there is a right one?Koraley said:
God might have it in his plans for me to stay single...
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But in our day, Christian singles get the worst of both worlds. Instead of working with others toward the same goal in communities, they often struggle alone, and for long stretches of time. Before we take our vows, were supposed to have completed our education, saved enough money for the mortgage and have substantial emotional maturity. Our bodies are ready for sexual intimacy long before weve met this criterion. The pressure is great, the supports are few. This is why friendship is so essential. Friendship keeps loneliness at bay and offers non-sexual opportunities for intimacy. Friends can nudge also each other toward holiness. In friendship, we inch back toward the purity of Eden. C.S. Lewis wrote, In Eros you have naked bodies, in friendship, naked souls.
the rest of the article. really good, really apt: http://www.boundless.org/features/a0000941.html
the rest of the article. really good, really apt: http://www.boundless.org/features/a0000941.html
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fishstix wrote exactly what I would have written.
I was very lonely last year, not because I was waiting a special someone, but because I didn't have very many friends and didn't know how to make any. It's hard going to a class in university where everybody knows you in face but no-body knows you personally. You don't belong.
By the way, people can be just as lonely in marriage. Imagine the other person being so stressed for work that he/she gets in bed rools to his/her side and goes to sleep. Imagine you start growing appart. Imagine you are stuck at home with kids, can't go out and make friends and hubby/wife comes home late from work each night. my conclusion is that if you are prone to loneliness before marriage, you will be just as lonely-prone after marriage. So lets work at it now.
I was very lonely last year, not because I was waiting a special someone, but because I didn't have very many friends and didn't know how to make any. It's hard going to a class in university where everybody knows you in face but no-body knows you personally. You don't belong.
By the way, people can be just as lonely in marriage. Imagine the other person being so stressed for work that he/she gets in bed rools to his/her side and goes to sleep. Imagine you start growing appart. Imagine you are stuck at home with kids, can't go out and make friends and hubby/wife comes home late from work each night. my conclusion is that if you are prone to loneliness before marriage, you will be just as lonely-prone after marriage. So lets work at it now.
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For me loneliness is lacking someone I can really relate to... but I still sometimes think its inappropriate that I should be lacking something outside of myself and God... external dependencies annoy me.
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