Loneliness

[Okano]

Hey everyone,

I have been feeling quite lonely again as of late. I feel like a slave, as if my life has no meaning and I won't find true happiness again. I've felt driven to the point to just travel to somewhere hostile to Christians and teach, preach, and proselytize until I am arrested or killed.

Life just seems to have really aged me. I'm sad, always sad. I've worked hard on managing emotion, enforcing positive thinking, and reading and studying God's word. But the last month and a half I have fallen out of reading. I think it kept me from feeling lonely sometimes, but it didn't seem to help so much after a while.

I was going to join the French Foreign Legion, but the Bible has taught me that isn't the answer. I really want to go because I have nowhere else to go or anything else to aspire to. But I just don't know.

It's so hard to keep going and not do anything reckless.

 

[GreatSpeckledBird]

Wow ive had the same thoughts about throwing myself out there on to the front lines. Im actually getting serious about it, researching street ministries I might run away and join. my unbelieving family is becoming hostile and cruel. Trapped in sin and unbelief they are beginning to openly hate me. I may as well be a part of preaching the gospel. There is no hope here.

 

[Okano]

Wow ive had the same thoughts about throwing myself out there on to the front lines. Im actually getting serious about it, researching street ministries I might run away and join. my unbelieving family is becoming hostile and cruel. Trapped in sin and unbelief they are beginning to openly hate me. I may as well be a part of preaching the gospel. There is no hope here.

I'm sorry your family has become cold to you... that must hurt a lot. I suppose it would be painful enough to feel like grief and loss. If you can teach people, then maybe you can do it? I don't imagine it would be very easy though. But then, doing good things are not always very easy.

 

[GreatSpeckledBird]

I found a church in st. louis with a street ministry. I may go there. Theres a great ministry in adelaide australia , forbes morrison, you might look into.

 

[Okano]

I was thinking that since I have nothing to lose anyway, I would go to Saudi Arabia, Palestine, Syria, or Iran.

 

[GreatSpeckledBird]

Well we should both seek the Fathers will and do it. May we both discern His guidance.

 

[Criada]

Praying for clear guidance for you both.

 

[LottyH]

Hey Okano and Speckle, hope you both don't rush off to the front line just yet!!! There is plenty of God's work that needs to be done before you leave the planet so please don't do anything rash!!!

God needs more people like you that are prepared to forget their own lives and follow Jesus along the narrow path. Jesus said 'if you find your life you will lose it and if you lose your life you will find it'.

Praying that God will guide you all things and keep you safe so that you can do His work. Above all, I pray 'Let His will be done' in your lives

Okano, I have to say this - about that 'nobody' underneath your name. You aren't nobody, its a lie so stop believing it and start being kinder to yourself (I'm saying this in my stern motherly voice..). I'm serious.

 

[GreatSpeckledBird]

Thanks lotty. Im too sick anyway. okano if you do that make sure God is leading.we are in a great spiritual war and we must do the Fathers will, not our own.

 

[Damian Newman]

In my hopeful commitment to forsake my life, my home, and my family, I left it all in a journey to seek baptism.
I did not find baptism through this little act of faith, though, and returned home and got baptized with the help of family. God's plan works mysteriously in it's perfection, doesn't it?

 

[LottyH]

Thanks lotty. Im too sick anyway. okano if you do that make sure God is leading.we are in a great spiritual war and we must do the Fathers will, not our own.

Sorry to hear you are sick at the moment. Praying for you, for healing and that you start to feel better