Living together

[YouthPastor]

The Bible talks about avoiding the appearance of Evil. Living together before marriage - is not avoiding the appearance of Evil.

Just because some of the people around you agree with your desicion does not make it right.

In addition, I hope it is not true, but it is always possible that you end up not getting married - then what you were shacking up with a guy that ended up not being your husband.

It opens up too many doors. Living together, chances are at some point you will see the other person in various stages of dress that should not happen between boyfriend/girlfriend or even fiances.

is it ok to see your fiance nude? I don;t think so. is it ok to sleep in the same bed and not have sex... I don;t thinks so.

 

[JillLars]

Youth pastor, just to specify, my fiance and I have already committed ourselves to one another for life, we simply haven't legalized it yet. Having made that committment, we have already consumated our union. Anyone who wishes to gossip about us may do as they please, that is their choice, ultimately we are each responsible for our own actions, we can't blame others for our own mistakes. Everything we do could be considered evil to someone, the bible says to avoid the appearance of evil, but it also says to respect your fellow Christians for things they can do in good conscience, even if you would not be able to. I hope that makes some sense.

 

[JillLars]

Oh, but youthpastor, I agree with your advice for the OP, who isn't planning on getting married yet, just wants to test the waters, I do not think that is a very good idea at all.

 

[SlowRoasted]

ok so obviously you guys have already slept together. What he is saying is that, no matter what you say, it would have meant more if you had waited. there wont be that anticipation of having sex for the first time on you wedding night. there isnt that comfort of knowing you did it the way God wanted it to be done. There is a sense of security that both of you have the will power and faith to fend off the sex drive and will soon be able to indulge in it.

The ultimate reason to wait till you are married is because its written in the bible. By saying what you are saying you are rationalizing your choice to live together or have premarital sex. Retionalization is the downfall of many Christians and is a tool of satan.

 

[YouthPastor]

what if the committment doesn't last? other than sex - what is there to say that you are committed for life?

 

[JillLars]

no matter what you say, it would have meant more if you had waited

Meant more to who? To youth pastor? That's fine, but to my fiance and I it means a lot now and it will mean a lot for the rest of our lives.

what if the committment doesn't last? other than sex - what is there to say that you are committed for life?

Sex doesn't say we are committed for life, we say we are. We have made a promise to one another, just like legally married couples do during a wedding ceremony. The marriage certificate does not keep people together for life, if it did divorce rates would not be so high. Its the promise and the committment to one another that keep people together, not the piece of paper.

 

[YouthPastor]

sex - is designed to be between a husband and a wife

...Fot this reason and man shal leave his father and mother and be untied to his wife...

Are you husband and wife?

In our society, you are not married until you have the "witnessed" signed paperwork, God says we are to obey the laws of the land unless they go against His word.

So until it is a husband/wife relationship - sex is not according to what God says.

 

[DaveKerwin]

don't live together before marriage.

don't have sex before marriage.

 

[cas_mason]

I suddenly feel like the tart from Manchester

I've been going out with my fiancee for 5 years, due to get married next year, going to buy our house a couple of months before so we can get it ready for when we move in.

I think everybody's positions are different (pardon the pun!)
I've had various partners in my past that I gave myself to so I'm not going into my marriage in a pure way, but I also worry what people let themselves in for, when they jump in the deep end with no experience.
My parents did this, waited until they were married at the age of 20. And all I see is problems. They're not happy,
They didn't know each other, what their physical needs were and the mental abuse that my father has given her is enough to test anybody!!

I know you will think that I am wrong and that I'm doing the wrong thing in God, but the God I know is a kind and forgiving God. Maybe he doesn't like my lifestyle but I know that he uses my life in other areas, so I can't be all bad can I?? I have also, never been happier in my life than now.

 

[DaveKerwin]

My parents did this, waited until they were married at the age of 20. And all I see is problems. They're not happy,
They didn't know each other, what their physical needs were and the mental abuse that my father has given her is enough to test anybody!!

I know you will think that I am wrong and that I'm doing the wrong thing in God, but the God I know is a kind and forgiving God. Maybe he doesn't like my lifestyle but I know that he uses my life in other areas, so I can't be all bad can I?

If your parents are unhappy is it NOT, I repeat NOT because they waited to have sex. It is most likely because they were unequally yoked and were in lust with each other, not love. So don't even try to say they are unhappy because they waited to have sex.

The God I know is kind and forgiving.... for those who repent.

 

[LadyBird]

Never mind.

 

[YouthPastor]

I think everybody's positions are different (pardon the pun!)
I've had various partners in my past that I gave myself to so I'm not going into my marriage in a pure way, but I also worry what people let themselves in for, when they jump in the deep end with no experience.
My parents did this, waited until they were married at the age of 20. And all I see is problems. They're not happy,
They didn't know each other, what their physical needs were and the mental abuse that my father has given her is enough to test anybody!!

Like Dave said it is NOT because they waited!!!!! They didn't know each other? they did not know wht the physical needs of each other were?

SEX has nothing to do with that. Waiting until after marriage is not what caused them to be unhappy.

As far as the mental abuse - I GARUANTEE you that you if could get an honest answer from your mom, there were signs that you dad was mentally abusive before your parents got married. Those signs were just overlooked or she thought that it would not be that way once they got married. Sex before marriage would NOT have shanged that.

You are dealing with character or a personality that has caused them to be unhappy but trying to say that it is because they waited until marriage as the reason for their troubled marriage.

 

[DaveKerwin]

RIGHT ON buddy.

 

[luckybug384]

please see new thread. Thanks for in advance for your thoughts and prayers.