Personally, I find all these lists a little daunting. I mean if I were a guy reading some of the 'I want' lists I wouldn't be so sure about getting involved either. And vice versa, lists about what a woman should be....
I really don't want to come into any relationship with a bunch of expectations and demands on any man. And I don't want him to have a bunch of demands on me.
I want a man who passionately loves God (and I would see that manifested in his heart to truly desire to grow in the image of Jesus)
I want a man who passionately loves me (with all my faults)
Out of those two, I believe, it would follow that he would also love my children.
And of course I must also passionately love him
The rest is a matter of attraction. By that I mean there could be many good and godly men who love God as I desire but that doesn't mean I would fall in love with them or them with me.
When the love happens we accept the one we love even with those things that may drive us nuts at times.
Sometimes these kinds of lists represent someone who can meet all our needs but there is only one who can do that - Jesus and he really is the only one who can truly fulfil our desires. As men and women we will always disappoint one another.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying we shouldn't think about what we desire in a partner or that lists per se are wrong. I have just been thinking about how easily lists can feel like a demand to 'get it right' or you won't be 'acceptable' or 'loved'. I realise that is not the intention. I guess this comes from being in a marriage for over 20 years where I had impossible demands and expectations placed on me and I was never able to be 'good enough' to be loved and accepted.
Many of the things in these lists I would like to be but out of a desire to be like Christ, not to make myself acceptable or desirable - too much pressure in that for me.
I already am valuable, beautiful, treasured beyond measure (Now I'm starting to preach at myself). For me, this is what I need to rest in.
I really don't want to come into any relationship with a bunch of expectations and demands on any man. And I don't want him to have a bunch of demands on me.
I want a man who passionately loves God (and I would see that manifested in his heart to truly desire to grow in the image of Jesus)
I want a man who passionately loves me (with all my faults)
Out of those two, I believe, it would follow that he would also love my children.
And of course I must also passionately love him
The rest is a matter of attraction. By that I mean there could be many good and godly men who love God as I desire but that doesn't mean I would fall in love with them or them with me.
When the love happens we accept the one we love even with those things that may drive us nuts at times.
Sometimes these kinds of lists represent someone who can meet all our needs but there is only one who can do that - Jesus and he really is the only one who can truly fulfil our desires. As men and women we will always disappoint one another.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying we shouldn't think about what we desire in a partner or that lists per se are wrong. I have just been thinking about how easily lists can feel like a demand to 'get it right' or you won't be 'acceptable' or 'loved'. I realise that is not the intention. I guess this comes from being in a marriage for over 20 years where I had impossible demands and expectations placed on me and I was never able to be 'good enough' to be loved and accepted.
Many of the things in these lists I would like to be but out of a desire to be like Christ, not to make myself acceptable or desirable - too much pressure in that for me.
I already am valuable, beautiful, treasured beyond measure
(Now I'm starting to preach at myself). For me, this is what I need to rest in.
