i suggest that you might want to print it out, so that you can really take it all in. plz read it dont let its size put you off.
chuck was a successful young attorney. along with his wife and new baby, he rarely missed a church service. he and been raised in a fine christian home, and for the most part he had walked with God throughout both college and law school. but one afternoon chuck made a decision that eventually cost him his family and his job.
chuck's firm needed another paralegal secretary, and he was assigned the responsibility of interviewing the applicants and hiring one fo them. the second women he interviewed seemed like the perfect choice. she has several years of experience as well as a pleasant personality, chuck was so impressed he considered cancelling teh other interviews. but he realized that would be unfair to the women who had already made the appointment, so he chose to continue with the interview.
chuck was in a great mood as he got out of his car in the morning and began walking towars his office. that mornign he would conduct his last interview and then get on with his 'real' job. as he reached for the door, he noticed in the reflection on the glass that a woman was walking up behind him. politley he opened the door and waited for her to enter first. he coulnt help but notice that she was a very attractive young lady. without thinking about it he watched her walk ahead of him to the elevator. he followed her into the elevator, thinking, there is certainly nothing wrong with riding in the elevator with a beautiful woman, besides it's the only one available.
'four please,' she said. chuck quickly pushed the button for the fourth floor. he grinned. that was his floor. then the thought occurred to him, is this the women who he was interviewing? and of course she was.
the interview went well, considering the fact that chuck had a difficult time keeping his mind on what she was saying rather than on how she looked. something inside kept saying,"there is no way you can hire her." at the same time his well-trained, analytical mind kept responding, "but it will enhance the image of the office to have an attractive young lady around. besides, the fact that she has very little experience will make it easier for us to train her to our way of doing things. there is nothing wrong with hiring her." in the end his reason reigned, and joyce became the firms new paralegal.
as time passed chuck becan paying more and more attention to joyce. for the first time in his career he actually looked forward to secretary's day. he spent over an hour looking for just the right card to give her. the whole time a little warning kept popping up in his conscience, "chuck, back off," but he would always have a good reason for everything he did, "she has worked hard. i need to show her my appreciation." soon other people in teh office began to notice the extra attention chuck paid to her. every once in a while someone would say something about it. chuck would smile and say, "there is nothing wrong with....," and excuse what ever it was that had been brought up.
lunch became a regular thing for chuck adn joyce. then it was dinner after work. the gifts continued and began to increase in size and value, all the while chuck told himself, "there is nothing wrong with showing my appreciation. there is nothing wrong with eating out with my secretary."
it wasnt long before Joyce's professional admiration for her boss became a romatic attraction. one thing led to another, as it almost always does, and what ensued was an adulterous relationship that neither chuck nor joyce anticipated.
chucks story is one that has been repeated thousands of times wiuth different people in different circumstances. in fact as you read his story i'm sure you anticipated the ending; it came as no surprise. as common and predictable as this story may be, i want ust to analyze it because it carries with it all the ingredients that make for a disaster in all of our lives.
like many of us, chuck followed this line of reasoning about sin: "there are right things, and there are wrong things. my goal as a christian is to always stay on the right side of things. as long as i do that, everything will be fine. as long as something is not clearly wrong, it is permissible." so every time he felt a little hesitant about his relationship with joyce he could dismiss it by saying," but i'm not doing anything wrong." and by his way of lookigna t things, he was exactly right.
we all have a tendency to think this way. we have a line drawn in our minds that separates right from wrong. as long as we are on the right side of things, we feel as if everything is all right. and should someone try to warn us about something, we may become defensive and say, "i'm not doing anything wrong! the bible doesnt say anything about this."
along with this way of thinking comes another tendency. that is to move as close to the line of sin as we can without actually sinning. for instance, when we see a police man somewhere in teh traffic behind us and we are ina 50 zone what speed do we slow down to? usually right down to the line, 50. that is the way we think.
high school students often express the same way of thinking with this question, "how far can my steady and i go?" that they are really asking in most cases is. "exactly where is the line between what is permissible and what is not? after you tell us, we are going to camp out right on that line." we want to go as far as we can; we want to know how close we can get to sin without actually sinning. this question is constantly being asked of relationships, tax deductoins, speed limits, expense accounts, rock music, dancing, and anything else where there is a margin of vagueness.
unfortunatley there will bever be an agreed-upon biblical answer for these 'grey areas'. the bible doesnt address itself to the question of how far a person can go towards sin without actually sinning. that was never a concern of the biblical authors as they wrote. moved by the holy spirit, they were addressing an entirely different question, "how can i become more christlike in my character? how can i be used to encourage those around me to become more like christ? those were teh concerns of the biblical writers. the problem with wanting to know how close to sin we can get without sinning is that the motivation behind the question is such that once we find a satisfactory answer we immediatley position ourselves on the edge of moral ethical disaster. we develp lifestyles so close to the edge that satan has to do very little to push us over into sin.
imagine for a moment that a frined of yours complained to you about his inability to stay on his diet. being a concerned frined, you ask him when he finds it most difficult, what would you think if he replied, "i do pretty good until i go into the ice-cream shop, order a hot fudge sundae, and put a big spooful right in front of my mouth. everytime i do that i jast can't resist the tempation" not very bright huh?
lets take it one stpe further. without loosing your cool you share with him that if he is really serious about staying on his diet, he needs to stay out of the ice-cream shop. how would u feel if he responded, "there is nothing wrong with going into the ice-cream shop!! people do it all the time. i ever saw the pastor and his wife in the ice-cream shop. you are so leagalistic?"
well he has a point. there is nothing wrong with going into an ice-cream shop, but he is missing another point, isnt he? he is missing the point that many christian miss when it comes to successfylly dealing with temptaion. when we are faced with decisions about opportunties, invitations, vacations, gifts, movies, music, books, magazines, cideos, dates, or anything else that pertains to our daily lives, we shouldnt be asking, "whats wrong with this?" instead we shoul be asking, "what is the wise thing to do?"
a young man or women will defend the relationship based on teh partner's overal character or background while ignoring the fact that the relationship is outside gods parameters and that past experience indicates it will stay that way as long as they are toghether.
they say things like, "but you dont understand, he is a great guy he is so polite and senstive." or "she is the finest girl ive ever dated. sure we have our problems but she has so much going for her. i would be a fool to drop her.' and so they continue outside Gods will, promising over and over again that things will change until the bottom drops out. these relationships are usually short lived. finally one of the two will lose interest in the other. or the girl may get pregnant. either way there is a great deal of hurt. they always wish they had listened.
wisdom makes decisions in light of the past, and its also senstive to the present weaknesses. by present weaknesses, i am reffering to the fact that we are more susceptible to certain temptations at some time than at others. for instance, right after you've had a big argument with the parents, you are usually more prone to do things you wouldnt normalyl do.
people who are committed to walking wisely stay in touch with their feelings and frustrations. they realise that what may have been safe last weekend could possibly lead to disaster this weekend; that what was easy to resist last night may be more difficult to say no to tonight. they approach every opportunity, invitation and relathionship in the light of their presnet state of mind a feelings.
another area of wisdom is always to consider thte future, which includes plans, goals, adn dreams. just about every sin we are tempted ot commit has a direct or indirect effect on our future. whether it is cheating, lying, stealing, going to far with your boyfriend, or some sort of sexual sin, it touches our future. if we are wise, we will look beyond the immediate pleasure of sin to its ultimate effect on our plans for the future. there fore the clearer out goals are, the easier it becomes to say no the the temptation. why? because one fo the lies satan says is "this won't hurt a bit." Goal oriented people are more apt to view present decisions in light of future consequences.
A younge girl who has purpose in her heart to keep herself morally pure for the man she will eventually marry will have more resolve when tempted to compromise then the girl who has never really given much thought to waht kind of woman she wants to be someday. the wife who has purpose in her heart to keep her marriage exciting will resist the temptation to slack off in her efforts to look pleasing for her husband. the wise person always measures each thought, oppurtunity and relationship by its effect on the future plans and dreams.
christains don't wake up one morning and just out of the blue decide to go out and have an affair. singles dont plan dationg relationships that will result in an unwanted pregnancy. married couples do not start out planning somewhere down the road to get divorced. yet all these things happen every day. why? because we dont plan well enough for these things not to happen.
if you are serious about dealing with 'not going over the line' you may need to take a few safe steps back. a friend of mine in another city had to take a few steps back. one afternoon we pulled up in front of a convenience store to get a paper. as i was about to get out of the car, he said, "dont go. i'll send Sarah." sara was his eight year old daugher. he gave her some change and off she went, barely able to open the door by herself. i made a humorous comment about his veing too lazy to get the paper himself. his reply, however, explained y he had sent his daugher and why he was the godly man he is. "you see," he said, "i used to go in all the time but just insde the door to the left is a magazine rack. it is full of trashy mags. every time i would go in i would battle the temptation to pick one up and flip through it. i decided the wisest thing to do is to send sarah. that way i can avoid the temptation altogether."
now that is taking a few steps back. does my freind think it is wrong to go into convenience stores? no. thats not the question at all. the question is, what is the wisest thing to do? are you ready to step back away from teh edge of what is acceptible and say "thats ok. i can see fine from here?" are you willing to evaluate every opportunity in teh light of your past experiences, your present state of ming, and your future goals, plans and dreams? are you willing to question every invitation and decistion in teh light of what is the 'wisest' thing to do? pray and ask god to increase your sensitivity to his spirit as he leads you down the path of wisdom and away from the danger zones.
notes taken from 'winning the war within' writen by charles stanley
i hope you got some truely interesting stuff out of that and i hope someone read it all coz it took forever to write out!
luv em
chuck was a successful young attorney. along with his wife and new baby, he rarely missed a church service. he and been raised in a fine christian home, and for the most part he had walked with God throughout both college and law school. but one afternoon chuck made a decision that eventually cost him his family and his job.
chuck's firm needed another paralegal secretary, and he was assigned the responsibility of interviewing the applicants and hiring one fo them. the second women he interviewed seemed like the perfect choice. she has several years of experience as well as a pleasant personality, chuck was so impressed he considered cancelling teh other interviews. but he realized that would be unfair to the women who had already made the appointment, so he chose to continue with the interview.
chuck was in a great mood as he got out of his car in the morning and began walking towars his office. that mornign he would conduct his last interview and then get on with his 'real' job. as he reached for the door, he noticed in the reflection on the glass that a woman was walking up behind him. politley he opened the door and waited for her to enter first. he coulnt help but notice that she was a very attractive young lady. without thinking about it he watched her walk ahead of him to the elevator. he followed her into the elevator, thinking, there is certainly nothing wrong with riding in the elevator with a beautiful woman, besides it's the only one available.
'four please,' she said. chuck quickly pushed the button for the fourth floor. he grinned. that was his floor. then the thought occurred to him, is this the women who he was interviewing? and of course she was.
the interview went well, considering the fact that chuck had a difficult time keeping his mind on what she was saying rather than on how she looked. something inside kept saying,"there is no way you can hire her." at the same time his well-trained, analytical mind kept responding, "but it will enhance the image of the office to have an attractive young lady around. besides, the fact that she has very little experience will make it easier for us to train her to our way of doing things. there is nothing wrong with hiring her." in the end his reason reigned, and joyce became the firms new paralegal.
as time passed chuck becan paying more and more attention to joyce. for the first time in his career he actually looked forward to secretary's day. he spent over an hour looking for just the right card to give her. the whole time a little warning kept popping up in his conscience, "chuck, back off," but he would always have a good reason for everything he did, "she has worked hard. i need to show her my appreciation." soon other people in teh office began to notice the extra attention chuck paid to her. every once in a while someone would say something about it. chuck would smile and say, "there is nothing wrong with....," and excuse what ever it was that had been brought up.
lunch became a regular thing for chuck adn joyce. then it was dinner after work. the gifts continued and began to increase in size and value, all the while chuck told himself, "there is nothing wrong with showing my appreciation. there is nothing wrong with eating out with my secretary."
it wasnt long before Joyce's professional admiration for her boss became a romatic attraction. one thing led to another, as it almost always does, and what ensued was an adulterous relationship that neither chuck nor joyce anticipated.
chucks story is one that has been repeated thousands of times wiuth different people in different circumstances. in fact as you read his story i'm sure you anticipated the ending; it came as no surprise. as common and predictable as this story may be, i want ust to analyze it because it carries with it all the ingredients that make for a disaster in all of our lives.
like many of us, chuck followed this line of reasoning about sin: "there are right things, and there are wrong things. my goal as a christian is to always stay on the right side of things. as long as i do that, everything will be fine. as long as something is not clearly wrong, it is permissible." so every time he felt a little hesitant about his relationship with joyce he could dismiss it by saying," but i'm not doing anything wrong." and by his way of lookigna t things, he was exactly right.
we all have a tendency to think this way. we have a line drawn in our minds that separates right from wrong. as long as we are on the right side of things, we feel as if everything is all right. and should someone try to warn us about something, we may become defensive and say, "i'm not doing anything wrong! the bible doesnt say anything about this."
along with this way of thinking comes another tendency. that is to move as close to the line of sin as we can without actually sinning. for instance, when we see a police man somewhere in teh traffic behind us and we are ina 50 zone what speed do we slow down to? usually right down to the line, 50. that is the way we think.
high school students often express the same way of thinking with this question, "how far can my steady and i go?" that they are really asking in most cases is. "exactly where is the line between what is permissible and what is not? after you tell us, we are going to camp out right on that line." we want to go as far as we can; we want to know how close we can get to sin without actually sinning. this question is constantly being asked of relationships, tax deductoins, speed limits, expense accounts, rock music, dancing, and anything else where there is a margin of vagueness.
unfortunatley there will bever be an agreed-upon biblical answer for these 'grey areas'. the bible doesnt address itself to the question of how far a person can go towards sin without actually sinning. that was never a concern of the biblical authors as they wrote. moved by the holy spirit, they were addressing an entirely different question, "how can i become more christlike in my character? how can i be used to encourage those around me to become more like christ? those were teh concerns of the biblical writers. the problem with wanting to know how close to sin we can get without sinning is that the motivation behind the question is such that once we find a satisfactory answer we immediatley position ourselves on the edge of moral ethical disaster. we develp lifestyles so close to the edge that satan has to do very little to push us over into sin.
imagine for a moment that a frined of yours complained to you about his inability to stay on his diet. being a concerned frined, you ask him when he finds it most difficult, what would you think if he replied, "i do pretty good until i go into the ice-cream shop, order a hot fudge sundae, and put a big spooful right in front of my mouth. everytime i do that i jast can't resist the tempation" not very bright huh?
lets take it one stpe further. without loosing your cool you share with him that if he is really serious about staying on his diet, he needs to stay out of the ice-cream shop. how would u feel if he responded, "there is nothing wrong with going into the ice-cream shop!! people do it all the time. i ever saw the pastor and his wife in the ice-cream shop. you are so leagalistic?"
well he has a point. there is nothing wrong with going into an ice-cream shop, but he is missing another point, isnt he? he is missing the point that many christian miss when it comes to successfylly dealing with temptaion. when we are faced with decisions about opportunties, invitations, vacations, gifts, movies, music, books, magazines, cideos, dates, or anything else that pertains to our daily lives, we shouldnt be asking, "whats wrong with this?" instead we shoul be asking, "what is the wise thing to do?"
a young man or women will defend the relationship based on teh partner's overal character or background while ignoring the fact that the relationship is outside gods parameters and that past experience indicates it will stay that way as long as they are toghether.
they say things like, "but you dont understand, he is a great guy he is so polite and senstive." or "she is the finest girl ive ever dated. sure we have our problems but she has so much going for her. i would be a fool to drop her.' and so they continue outside Gods will, promising over and over again that things will change until the bottom drops out. these relationships are usually short lived. finally one of the two will lose interest in the other. or the girl may get pregnant. either way there is a great deal of hurt. they always wish they had listened.
wisdom makes decisions in light of the past, and its also senstive to the present weaknesses. by present weaknesses, i am reffering to the fact that we are more susceptible to certain temptations at some time than at others. for instance, right after you've had a big argument with the parents, you are usually more prone to do things you wouldnt normalyl do.
people who are committed to walking wisely stay in touch with their feelings and frustrations. they realise that what may have been safe last weekend could possibly lead to disaster this weekend; that what was easy to resist last night may be more difficult to say no to tonight. they approach every opportunity, invitation and relathionship in the light of their presnet state of mind a feelings.
another area of wisdom is always to consider thte future, which includes plans, goals, adn dreams. just about every sin we are tempted ot commit has a direct or indirect effect on our future. whether it is cheating, lying, stealing, going to far with your boyfriend, or some sort of sexual sin, it touches our future. if we are wise, we will look beyond the immediate pleasure of sin to its ultimate effect on our plans for the future. there fore the clearer out goals are, the easier it becomes to say no the the temptation. why? because one fo the lies satan says is "this won't hurt a bit." Goal oriented people are more apt to view present decisions in light of future consequences.
A younge girl who has purpose in her heart to keep herself morally pure for the man she will eventually marry will have more resolve when tempted to compromise then the girl who has never really given much thought to waht kind of woman she wants to be someday. the wife who has purpose in her heart to keep her marriage exciting will resist the temptation to slack off in her efforts to look pleasing for her husband. the wise person always measures each thought, oppurtunity and relationship by its effect on the future plans and dreams.
christains don't wake up one morning and just out of the blue decide to go out and have an affair. singles dont plan dationg relationships that will result in an unwanted pregnancy. married couples do not start out planning somewhere down the road to get divorced. yet all these things happen every day. why? because we dont plan well enough for these things not to happen.
if you are serious about dealing with 'not going over the line' you may need to take a few safe steps back. a friend of mine in another city had to take a few steps back. one afternoon we pulled up in front of a convenience store to get a paper. as i was about to get out of the car, he said, "dont go. i'll send Sarah." sara was his eight year old daugher. he gave her some change and off she went, barely able to open the door by herself. i made a humorous comment about his veing too lazy to get the paper himself. his reply, however, explained y he had sent his daugher and why he was the godly man he is. "you see," he said, "i used to go in all the time but just insde the door to the left is a magazine rack. it is full of trashy mags. every time i would go in i would battle the temptation to pick one up and flip through it. i decided the wisest thing to do is to send sarah. that way i can avoid the temptation altogether."
now that is taking a few steps back. does my freind think it is wrong to go into convenience stores? no. thats not the question at all. the question is, what is the wisest thing to do? are you ready to step back away from teh edge of what is acceptible and say "thats ok. i can see fine from here?" are you willing to evaluate every opportunity in teh light of your past experiences, your present state of ming, and your future goals, plans and dreams? are you willing to question every invitation and decistion in teh light of what is the 'wisest' thing to do? pray and ask god to increase your sensitivity to his spirit as he leads you down the path of wisdom and away from the danger zones.
notes taken from 'winning the war within' writen by charles stanley
i hope you got some truely interesting stuff out of that and i hope someone read it all coz it took forever to write out!
luv em
