Should I limit even further the time my daughter spends with a bad influence. Am I sending mixed messages by allowing her to spend any time at all with her?
The parenting forum is not as busy as this one so I decided to post here.
My kids are really good kids for the most part. Part of it I contribute to having them in a small Christian school. I have known most of the kids, parents and teachers for 10 years. All our kids have grown up together. My kids spend the night at other peoples houses, we have other kids spend the night at our house. My kids have a lot of freedom because they have not been found to be untrustworthy. They have curfews they stick too. I know who theyre with and where their going. They get good grades, are active in sports. They had summer jobs. With all that said, theyre kind of too busy to get into too much trouble.
Now that thats out there. Here is my dilemma. My 14 year old daughter (will be 15 year old next month) has been friends with some kids she went to daycare with So they have been friends 14 years. They lose touch some because they go to different schools. I know the family pretty well, also for 14 years. About 2 years ago, I stopped letting her spend the night there. This family has 5 kids but that changes because she takes in foster kids (usually babies) but not always. The 4 kids are teenagers 2 boys and 2 girls. Maybe it is because I know them that I dont allow her to spend the night there. They use to spend the night at our house and my kids use to spend the night at their house when they were little. I have always said the girls are welcome to spend the night at our house The Mom works at a daycare and my daughter volunteers at the daycare a few times a year. I have told her that she is not allowed to spend the night there anymore. And Ive explained the reasons why random people spending the night there plus the kids are very street smart. I think they are Christians but dont necessarily walk the walk. The Mom use to go to church but never would bring the kids. I dont agree with all her parenting styles. She is probably one that teaches safe sex instead of abstinence. Keep in mind I do let her spend the night at peoples house that are Christians that walk the walk. When she volunteers at the daycare, sometimes the Mom will bring them to her house, but always during the day and ONLY a few times a year.
So the question is not should I / shouldnt I let her spend the night (which she asks about every time she volunteers even though I have already told her no more) but should I / shouldnt I let her continue to volunteer at the daycare. By eliminating that they will REALLY have limited time together. They still have each others myspace/facebook/cell phones. BUT because I limit their together time, they cant get into to much trouble. I have explained to my girl that I trust her but I dont want to put her in a tempting position. Im a 40 year old single mom of three. Ive been single for 6 years and really havent dated much but I know when a guy looks into your eyes and tells you youre beautiful you can become putty in their hands. And the wonderful spin the bottle games, etc. PLUS I actually did walk in on my daughter then 11 and another boy then 9 (fully clothed) but lying on the floor in an inappropriate embrace. I told her then that it was normal to be curious but not to act on the curiosity because it is reserved for husband/wife.
Should I limit even further the time my daughter spends with a bad influence. Am I sending mixed messages by allowing her to spend any time at all with her.
The parenting forum is not as busy as this one so I decided to post here.
My kids are really good kids for the most part. Part of it I contribute to having them in a small Christian school. I have known most of the kids, parents and teachers for 10 years. All our kids have grown up together. My kids spend the night at other peoples houses, we have other kids spend the night at our house. My kids have a lot of freedom because they have not been found to be untrustworthy. They have curfews they stick too. I know who theyre with and where their going. They get good grades, are active in sports. They had summer jobs. With all that said, theyre kind of too busy to get into too much trouble.
Now that thats out there. Here is my dilemma. My 14 year old daughter (will be 15 year old next month) has been friends with some kids she went to daycare with So they have been friends 14 years. They lose touch some because they go to different schools. I know the family pretty well, also for 14 years. About 2 years ago, I stopped letting her spend the night there. This family has 5 kids but that changes because she takes in foster kids (usually babies) but not always. The 4 kids are teenagers 2 boys and 2 girls. Maybe it is because I know them that I dont allow her to spend the night there. They use to spend the night at our house and my kids use to spend the night at their house when they were little. I have always said the girls are welcome to spend the night at our house The Mom works at a daycare and my daughter volunteers at the daycare a few times a year. I have told her that she is not allowed to spend the night there anymore. And Ive explained the reasons why random people spending the night there plus the kids are very street smart. I think they are Christians but dont necessarily walk the walk. The Mom use to go to church but never would bring the kids. I dont agree with all her parenting styles. She is probably one that teaches safe sex instead of abstinence. Keep in mind I do let her spend the night at peoples house that are Christians that walk the walk. When she volunteers at the daycare, sometimes the Mom will bring them to her house, but always during the day and ONLY a few times a year.
So the question is not should I / shouldnt I let her spend the night (which she asks about every time she volunteers even though I have already told her no more) but should I / shouldnt I let her continue to volunteer at the daycare. By eliminating that they will REALLY have limited time together. They still have each others myspace/facebook/cell phones. BUT because I limit their together time, they cant get into to much trouble. I have explained to my girl that I trust her but I dont want to put her in a tempting position. Im a 40 year old single mom of three. Ive been single for 6 years and really havent dated much but I know when a guy looks into your eyes and tells you youre beautiful you can become putty in their hands. And the wonderful spin the bottle games, etc. PLUS I actually did walk in on my daughter then 11 and another boy then 9 (fully clothed) but lying on the floor in an inappropriate embrace. I told her then that it was normal to be curious but not to act on the curiosity because it is reserved for husband/wife.
Should I limit even further the time my daughter spends with a bad influence. Am I sending mixed messages by allowing her to spend any time at all with her.
