Light-hearted "what would you do" situation

[LovebirdsFlying]

Meant for fun.

Yesterday, my husband gave me what he thought was enough money to cover a certain bill I was to pay while I was out, plus a little extra. He wanted me to keep the change as my personal spending money. I don't have a job yet, but I'm looking. He'll buy me anything I need if he can work it into the budget, and he also likes for me to have a little something when I'm out. In an emergency, he wouldn't want me to be penniless.

The bill turned out to be a good $30 less than he thought it was going to be. Their quoted estimate had been high. But he did tell me, keep the change as my personal spending money.....

Yes, I was honest with him about it. He told me if he had guessed more accurately, he wouldn't have given me as much. He was only figuring on me having about $20 left over, but as it turns out, I have $50. I offered to give him the rest back, bills are tight right now, but he said go ahead and keep it. He is a man of his word. I'll be careful how I spend it, top off the gas in my own car (it's at 3/4) instead of having him do it, and be ready to give him some back if he does end up needing it.

Now, in this situation, if you were me, would you have been tempted to just not mention to him that the bill came out to be less than he thought? Even if he hadn't come right out and asked how much it ended up being, I like to think I would have volunteered to tell him. If I hadn't, would that have been dishonest of me? If you were my husband in this situation, and you said "keep the change" but then that ended up being a larger amount than you intended, would you hold to it? Or would you ask for the extra back?

 

[LinkH]

Now, in this situation, if you were me, would you have been tempted to just not mention to him that the bill came out to be less than he thought? Even if he hadn't come right out and asked how much it ended up being, I like to think I would have volunteered to tell him. If I hadn't, would that have been dishonest of me? If you were my husband in this situation, and you said "keep the change" but then that ended up being a larger amount than you intended, would you hold to it? Or would you ask for the extra back?

If finances are tight, that effects you, too. You have a motivation to keep the rent and utilities paid, so I don't see why it would have been a big issue. If my wife were in the same situation, and she didn't tell me, it wouldn't a big deal to me, because like in your example, I think she'd probably spend it on things we had to spend money on anyway, like filling up the gas tank. You have to pay for that anyway. Whether you tell him or not, either he's going to buy the gas, or you will. Net resources still stay the same.

If you went out and spent the money on some frivolous, that might a be a little different scenario. I think you did well by telling him, btw.

 

[Hetta]

If I were in that position, I would always tell the truth. But the money he makes - even though he actually makes it - belongs to both of you, as do the debts.

 

[sdmsanjose]

By Love Birds Flying
if you were me, would you have been tempted to just not mention to him that the bill came out to be less than he thought?

If I were you I would tell my spouse because in your case your husband is generous and a man of his word



If I hadn't, would that have been dishonest of me
NO





If you were my husband in this situation, and you said "keep the change" but then that ended up being a larger amount than you intended, would you hold to it? Or would you ask for the extra back?

This has happened to me and my wife several times. I think my wife tells me most of the time but in any case I would tell her to keep the change. Now if it were hundreds of dollars we would do something else with the change.


Your husband is a man of his word and generous and you are a very honest person and considerate woman.

 

[Autumnleaf]

I would have taken the money to the casino and put it all on red 7. If I won I would give it back to him and tell him how the tale of the talents applies even in these latter days among us saints.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I would have taken the money to the casino and put it all on red 7. If I won I would give it back to him and tell him how the tale of the talents applies even in these latter days among us saints.

He hasn't let me spend a penny of it yet. We went out for coffee. I started to pay for my own. He covered it. Then we came home, and left again in separate vehicles to go to the car wash, getting them both done at the same time. I started to pay to wash my own. He covered it. Well, at least I'm trying not to take advantage. But he's not making it easy.

When I get a job and can help with the bills, he'll start getting it back. As it is, he'll buy anything I need, but he has to be really persuaded to get something for himself. The only new clothes he's had in the seven years I've known him, I've saved the spending money he gives me, and bought him for his birthday or Christmas or something. He'll let his belt, shoes, socks, wallet, whatever, all get down to holes he could drive his bus through (that's what he does for a living) before he'll replace them, but if I need something, he doesn't think twice. I have it as soon as the money's in the budget. It's been hard convincing him he's worth it just the same as I am.

 

[sdmsanjose]

My wife is like you in those ways. Because she is so careful to not take advantage of my spending money on her I never worry about her takeing advantage of me on the money part. Her computer is a 2006 version and her OS is Windows XP and now is no longer supported by Microsoft. That old computer is slow as a snail but she never asks me to do something about it. I just ordered her a new one from Amazon, she does not know and did not ask for one, and it will here next week. This is going to be a big surprise for her and I enjoy providing that for her. Your husband and I are lucky to have a wife that is so thoughtful of the financial responsibilities that we husbands have. It is a pleasure to buy for my wife.


LBF, you should not feel like you are taking advantage of your husband; he probably enjoys providing for you financially

 

[Odetta]

If I were in that situation, I would have told my husband, but it would have been more like, "Woohoo! Look at how much we saved!" At that point I guarantee he would tell me one of four things:

1) Give me some of that - I need lunch money.
2) Put it back in the account - there is this bill to pay.
3) Keep it - support your Starbucks habit.
4) (not say anything at all, which implies #3).

Any time we get extra cash we weren't expecting - a gift, a bonus, an expense less than expected, we always just naturally talk about what to do with the excess.

 

[razzelflabben]

We would never be in this situation, our budget is so tight, there is no room for such things... that being said, I'm not sure I understand this mentality. My husband always holds the cash, but I have access to any and all of it at will, he trusts me and I trust him. when we disagree on things, we fight, then find a compromise, such as, we can wait to pay the electric till next pay kind of compromise. Don't really know what it is to have the luxury of extra cash or money to spend on something I like, want, or need....even both our needs often go unmet to cover what the kids need. I guess that is what I would have spent it on, the kids or something he needed.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

My wife always asks me before spending any money that I send her because she knows our budget is tight. Of course I just tell her spend it on whats needed (like fees for the visa), food, transportation. Then whatever is left she can do whatever she wants with it. I don't mind if she spends it on something as long as she has enough to survive on first.

 

[akmom]

If money is really tight, yeah, I'd mention it. I'm sure you're both invested in being able to pay the bills!

If I didn't think it'd make a difference in our ability to make ends meet, I'd probably just keep it.