V
viltglance007
Guest
Dr.Francesco.Mordasini - Switzerland
When I grew up I did not know that true Christians existed, because so few live in southern Switzerland where I lived. I met my first Christian only when I was about 20 years old! Therefore the LORD had to take me to His Son through a chain of crises and circumstances.
During the elementary school years I distinctly remember frequently sitting on my bed early in the morning ready to get dressed and thinking strongly: Why this? Why do I have to go to school? Why is there a school at all? We had the Catholic religious instruction and sometimes the teacher, a priest, would tell us a story about Jesus and I remember remaining very impressed by this person, Jesus. At the same time I could not figure out life, why did I suddenly become conscious and why did I come to exist? And most of all, why did we have to die and lose that consciousness? Only many years later I discovered the relationship between my existence, death and Jesus. There was no one at that time who was able to tell me that Jesus died for me that I might live. For example, I remember very vividly one day on the train with my mother. I was sitting on a green seat in the train and while looking out of the window at the wonderful blue sky above the peaks of the Alps, suddenly, an incredibly strong conviction came on me. It was so strong that I had to cry out "I do not want to die! I do not want to die!" My mother did not know anything about Jesus' salvation and tried to calm me down with the best she could find. She was able to push momentarily the fear of death away. I was about ten at that time.
The LORD also prepared me for His Son through three major crisis in my life. The first was the divorce of my parents when I was 12. I began to read spiritual books of any kind including the Gospels. I gained the impression that Jesus was different from the other holy men I read about. The second crisis came at 17 when the dream of my life to become a military pilot was permanently shattered: my eyes were too weak. My search for God intensified. When I turned 18, I asked for my first Bible as a present. The third and final blow, came in 1988 (I was 21) when my first (and only for many years after) girlfriend left me for someone else. The pain of a deeply wounded heart led me to seek refuge in the LORD.
My conversion came a few weeks after my girlfriend left me in September 1988. I had to go jogging every day at the river bank in that time of crises. I continually felt a terrible weight and confusion within and continual temptations: "throw yourself down the bridge," "drop forever your studies in Mathematics," and "go with the first girl you meet to find comfort." None was able to help me. One day while jogging I was overwhelmed by these temptations, by pain and confusion. I was almost crushed to the ground when, suddenly, three crystal clear thoughts came to my mind. The first was that I did wrong to give my heart to that girl. She told me many times that she loved me. But now she was no longer there. So I concluded that her love was not true. The second came immediately after as I saw in my mind Jesus hanging on the cross and realized that He was the one who really loved me. He was the only one who ever set foot on earth to die for me. I realized that all this time I had been actually setting His love aside for something much less: the girls' love. I saw my folly and the third thought was to ask for forgiveness. All this was happening while I was still jogging. But still I was feeling a great weight and pain in my body. I pictured the love between me and the girl as a bridge between me and her on which love could flow like a fluid. But now she was no longer there and my fluid was streaming out on the other side of the bridge. I felt like I was continually bleeding. So I asked Jesus to please take the other side of the bridge and take the place of the girl. When I asked Him this, immediately the weight and pain went out of me and I was actually filled with joy. At first the change of mood from pain to joy made me think that I was crazy. But I soon realized that Jesus had answered my prayer.
Today I know that the LORD heard my prayer and that He led me to His Son Jesus to receive love and forgiveness of my sins. He rescued me from despair. Finally after many years I understood the relationship between death and my existence: Jesus died to save my life!
When I grew up I did not know that true Christians existed, because so few live in southern Switzerland where I lived. I met my first Christian only when I was about 20 years old! Therefore the LORD had to take me to His Son through a chain of crises and circumstances.
During the elementary school years I distinctly remember frequently sitting on my bed early in the morning ready to get dressed and thinking strongly: Why this? Why do I have to go to school? Why is there a school at all? We had the Catholic religious instruction and sometimes the teacher, a priest, would tell us a story about Jesus and I remember remaining very impressed by this person, Jesus. At the same time I could not figure out life, why did I suddenly become conscious and why did I come to exist? And most of all, why did we have to die and lose that consciousness? Only many years later I discovered the relationship between my existence, death and Jesus. There was no one at that time who was able to tell me that Jesus died for me that I might live. For example, I remember very vividly one day on the train with my mother. I was sitting on a green seat in the train and while looking out of the window at the wonderful blue sky above the peaks of the Alps, suddenly, an incredibly strong conviction came on me. It was so strong that I had to cry out "I do not want to die! I do not want to die!" My mother did not know anything about Jesus' salvation and tried to calm me down with the best she could find. She was able to push momentarily the fear of death away. I was about ten at that time.
The LORD also prepared me for His Son through three major crisis in my life. The first was the divorce of my parents when I was 12. I began to read spiritual books of any kind including the Gospels. I gained the impression that Jesus was different from the other holy men I read about. The second crisis came at 17 when the dream of my life to become a military pilot was permanently shattered: my eyes were too weak. My search for God intensified. When I turned 18, I asked for my first Bible as a present. The third and final blow, came in 1988 (I was 21) when my first (and only for many years after) girlfriend left me for someone else. The pain of a deeply wounded heart led me to seek refuge in the LORD.
My conversion came a few weeks after my girlfriend left me in September 1988. I had to go jogging every day at the river bank in that time of crises. I continually felt a terrible weight and confusion within and continual temptations: "throw yourself down the bridge," "drop forever your studies in Mathematics," and "go with the first girl you meet to find comfort." None was able to help me. One day while jogging I was overwhelmed by these temptations, by pain and confusion. I was almost crushed to the ground when, suddenly, three crystal clear thoughts came to my mind. The first was that I did wrong to give my heart to that girl. She told me many times that she loved me. But now she was no longer there. So I concluded that her love was not true. The second came immediately after as I saw in my mind Jesus hanging on the cross and realized that He was the one who really loved me. He was the only one who ever set foot on earth to die for me. I realized that all this time I had been actually setting His love aside for something much less: the girls' love. I saw my folly and the third thought was to ask for forgiveness. All this was happening while I was still jogging. But still I was feeling a great weight and pain in my body. I pictured the love between me and the girl as a bridge between me and her on which love could flow like a fluid. But now she was no longer there and my fluid was streaming out on the other side of the bridge. I felt like I was continually bleeding. So I asked Jesus to please take the other side of the bridge and take the place of the girl. When I asked Him this, immediately the weight and pain went out of me and I was actually filled with joy. At first the change of mood from pain to joy made me think that I was crazy. But I soon realized that Jesus had answered my prayer.
Today I know that the LORD heard my prayer and that He led me to His Son Jesus to receive love and forgiveness of my sins. He rescued me from despair. Finally after many years I understood the relationship between death and my existence: Jesus died to save my life!
