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Life, lost & pain

ChristInAction

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Ok. Heres my vent to stop me going crazy...
(try & keep up its crazy)

Mum started dating like a month or 2 ago which is fine in it self but she was dating guys that she met online & meeting them in person & meeting like 2 a night for 2weeks or more till she met brad. I was at a party & she rocs up like 3hours early to pick me up & informs me we're going out for dinner with him. I sit there all night fighting back tears b'coz she didnt even talk to me about it & I really didnt want to be there. He slept over that night (remember this is the 1st night that they have ever met) & all sorts of things happened & be the next night he was gone.
We went on dating a million more guys till a week late we meet phillip. Its a thursday night & mum comes home, wakes me up at 1am & tells me shes in love. He spent the night (on the 1st date too) but he stuck around for 2weeks & moved in. He was around for another week & mum dumped him.
The next day what do find out. Brads moving in! That lasted 2weeks & mum found out he was seeing someone else so that was over.
Oh, & in there I found a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] & lube in her room & she went shopping for lube while I was with her!!!
Now were up to date?

Ok. On Saturday we went shopping & mum brought a whole lotta coke which can only mean one thing. Phillips coming back b'coz he drinks a masive family bottle of coke to him self every night on top of all the cans he drinks but up till now, he hasnt been around.

Last night I had a school thing which I had 2 play my flute at. I was in & out in like 30mins & mum was freaking out coz this guy that she was suppose 2 be meeting up with had a car crush & she spent the whole night up, waking me up worrying (for nothing) he was fine.

Noone of this is THAT awful in its self but if we go back 11years..... ok this is where the storie gets hard for me.... :cry: i cant even think about it without starting to cry.... I was molested by my uncle... in his shed... he never raped me b'coz he didnt want to leave evidence on me.... go forward 6months... it happens again... my mum stops us from seeing him b'coz he was being really rude to my brother (his disabled)... I remember he came over once & I ran out side & hid behind an esel chalt bored b'coz I was so scared of him... go forward again.... my dad has verbally abuse me my whole life.. I've never been good enough, too fat, too ugly, too dumb... while he lived here he also hit me, everynight. I was always scared & one night I was throwing up & I threw up on my bed but I wouldnt let him come in & help so I had to sit there timme mum could be stuffed coming in & helping me.... go forward again.... I was 8.... my cousin who is 6 months older was molesting me & almost raped me before my mum & his mum broke it up & they fort over whos folt it was for so long...

I've always been really carful around older guys... normal its ok, I can deal but not with them so close, men I dont know, mum doesnt know in the house.

Yes, I've tryed talking to her, she doesnt listen!
I've tryed & tryed & tryed again.

sorry it was so long & stupid.
I'm really sorry, I just had to get it out.:sigh:
 

Akathist

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Your post is not too long or too stupid. I think it is a wonderful post and clearly you need the love and support of others right now.


Could you talk to a school counselor about this stuff? I really think you need to find someone who can help work things out for you.
 
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U

UnitynLove

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Ok. Heres my vent to stop me going crazy...
(try & keep up its crazy)

Mum started dating like a month or 2 ago which is fine in it self but she was dating guys that she met online & meeting them in person & meeting like 2 a night for 2weeks or more till she met brad. I was at a party & she rocs up like 3hours early to pick me up & informs me we're going out for dinner with him. I sit there all night fighting back tears b'coz she didnt even talk to me about it & I really didnt want to be there. He slept over that night (remember this is the 1st night that they have ever met) & all sorts of things happened & be the next night he was gone.
We went on dating a million more guys till a week late we meet phillip. Its a thursday night & mum comes home, wakes me up at 1am & tells me shes in love. He spent the night (on the 1st date too) but he stuck around for 2weeks & moved in. He was around for another week & mum dumped him.
The next day what do find out. Brads moving in! That lasted 2weeks & mum found out he was seeing someone else so that was over.
Oh, & in there I found a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] & lube in her room & she went shopping for lube while I was with her!!!
Now were up to date?

Ok. On Saturday we went shopping & mum brought a whole lotta coke which can only mean one thing. Phillips coming back b'coz he drinks a masive family bottle of coke to him self every night on top of all the cans he drinks but up till now, he hasnt been around.

Last night I had a school thing which I had 2 play my flute at. I was in & out in like 30mins & mum was freaking out coz this guy that she was suppose 2 be meeting up with had a car crush & she spent the whole night up, waking me up worrying (for nothing) he was fine.

Noone of this is THAT awful in its self but if we go back 11years..... ok this is where the storie gets hard for me.... :cry: i cant even think about it without starting to cry.... I was molested by my uncle... in his shed... he never raped me b'coz he didnt want to leave evidence on me.... go forward 6months... it happens again... my mum stops us from seeing him b'coz he was being really rude to my brother (his disabled)... I remember he came over once & I ran out side & hid behind an esel chalt bored b'coz I was so scared of him... go forward again.... my dad has verbally abuse me my whole life.. I've never been good enough, too fat, too ugly, too dumb... while he lived here he also hit me, everynight. I was always scared & one night I was throwing up & I threw up on my bed but I wouldnt let him come in & help so I had to sit there timme mum could be stuffed coming in & helping me.... go forward again.... I was 8.... my cousin who is 6 months older was molesting me & almost raped me before my mum & his mum broke it up & they fort over whos folt it was for so long...

I've always been really carful around older guys... normal its ok, I can deal but not with them so close, men I dont know, mum doesnt know in the house.

Yes, I've tryed talking to her, she doesnt listen!
I've tryed & tryed & tryed again.

sorry it was so long & stupid.
I'm really sorry, I just had to get it out.:sigh:
I think your mum doesn't know how to deal with it so she just shrugges it off. This her way of dealing with it. Can you get some family counseling?
 
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MydaughterMyfriend

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I agree that you needed to vent, thank you for sharing these diffulcult things with us so that we can pray for you and love you.

I also agree that you need a safe person to confide in.

None of this is your fault. You are a beautiful child of God who was meant to live on this earth at this time; God has a special purpose for your life.

I will pray for you.
 
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U

UnitynLove

Guest
I agree that you needed to vent, thank you for sharing these diffulcult things with us so that we can pray for you and love you.

I also agree that you need a safe person to confide in.

None of this is your fault. You are a beautiful child of God who was meant to live on this earth at this time; God has a special purpose for your life.

I will pray for you.
Exactly!
 
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Lightbearer3

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Healing your sorrows with His love. He will never leave or forsake you.
th_thazuzephrehearprint6jf-1.gif
 
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