Life after abuse

[Warrior4ChristAL]

There is a life in Christ after abuse.

It takes a willingness to stand naked before the Lord and bare all, just to Him.

When we attempt to hide our pain, shame, regret or memories from Him, He will gently remind us that He knows it all but wants us to become honest with ourselves and learn to forgive.

It is only during the forgiving portion of our healing that we find true freedom. For freely we have received forgiveness, now freely we must be willing to forgive.

It is this portion of the journey that is the hardest. Being willing to release them into the Lord's hands for judgment.

Most of the time we want justice for what has happened to us. However, true justice can only come from a Just God, not ourselves.

There is life after abuse, however, we will always have the scars as a testimony to the goodness of the Lord.

Christ still bears His Scars as a testimony that He paid our debt to the Father in full.

We will bear the scars to show a hurting, desperate world there is hope.

There is life after abuse but it is not a passive one. In order to heal one must choose to MOVE.

Though we WALK THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death.

The key word is WALK THROUGH. We are promised that He would walk with us. He never expected us to camp out there.

While you are hurting you must know that you are not alone.

While you are in the "valley walk" you must know that it is NOT a lifestyle to embrace or hold onto. It is what you have endured and how wonderful God's grace is to WALK THROUGH it that gives you strength on your journey.

I recommend Hinds Feet in High Places for those that come into our ministry and need to find hope before they can find the faith to believe.

Hope must come first. If you have no hope then how can you believe God wants you healed and whole again?

I find the Body of Christ to be lacking in hand's on willingness to embrace the hurting and the broken. While their words of encouragement are needed and necessary, there must be some willing to embrace the broken and bind up the wounds. Without it, our "love" is not love, for love produces an action.

It's hard journeying toward healing and wholeness when the Body just doesn't understand or are even willing to walk one mile with you.

There is life after abuse. But a life that is most precious is shared with a few and tolerated by most.

As Christ's Body we should love them THROUGH THE VALLEY rather than merely demand they get to the other side.

Blessings!

 

[UnitynLove]

Thank you for this beautiful message!!

 

[restore]

I desire a new life, i v been fighting the abuse addiction pattern for a few years, it seems addicted still, out of control......like a spiritual bound. or soul tie , connected to abuse.

i need prayers and help to my minds.

 

[angelluv]

This message is so true. Thank you for sharing it where all could see. It helps me realize I wasn't the only one. And I know that I am over it now. Thank you again!

 

[newday]

A beautiful message.
Thanks!
Newday

 

[PassionateWorshipper]

You may be right about what is holding you captive to the additictive pattern you find yourself in.

Restore, I have PMed (private messaged) you and will follow up with you through PM okay? -PW

 

[rayann]

Thank you for posting the beautiful message, I have just left an abusive marraige but i am still married he is tring to blame the seperation on an affair that i had with a married man! I am now looking to God for help...

 

[marli]

Oft-said advice about recovery, forgiveness, even walking are only easily recognized in hindsight. I know them to be true because I've "walked through."

But for those of us who are still walking, or just beginning to walk, it is very very confusing as to how to begin, what exactly we should do, what exactly we must do in order to forgive.

I cannot tell you step-by-step what must be done, because I do not know exactly what I did right in order to recover. I only that God was with me all along, and it was by His Grace that I am where I am now.

If you keep your heart pure, and your mind pure, and you pray continuously -- not only on your knees, not only with your lips, but with your entire body, with every action, you will make it. Even when you reach out and you feel no one there -- only emptiness where God should be, know that he IS there, and you cannot feel him because the feeling of the pain overwhelms your senses. But He is there.

God bless,
Marli

 

[tigercub]

But for those of us who are still walking, or just beginning to walk, it is very very confusing as to how to begin, what exactly we should do, what exactly we must do in order to forgive.

Thank you for recognising this. It's even more confusing for someone trying to figure it all out 7/8 years on

 

[Warrior4ChristAL]

Oft-said advice about recovery, forgiveness, even walking are only easily recognized in hindsight. I know them to be true because I've "walked through."

But for those of us who are still walking, or just beginning to walk, it is very very confusing as to how to begin, what exactly we should do, what exactly we must do in order to forgive.

I cannot tell you step-by-step what must be done, because I do not know exactly what I did right in order to recover. I only that God was with me all along, and it was by His Grace that I am where I am now.

If you keep your heart pure, and your mind pure, and you pray continuously -- not only on your knees, not only with your lips, but with your entire body, with every action, you will make it. Even when you reach out and you feel no one there -- only emptiness where God should be, know that he IS there, and you cannot feel him because the feeling of the pain overwhelms your senses. But He is there.

God bless,
Marli

I believe the first step is giving the Lord permission to purge your soul of "hidden things". Things we have stored in our memory that consciously we do not see a problem with but unconsciously it has scarred our mind and emotions with unresolved pain.

I find that during my own personal prayer and worship time I give the Lord permission to expose the darkness to the Light of Christ, illuminating those secret things.

Believe me, the healing portion comes through recognition of unresolved hurt or anger, allowing the Lord to push past it with you and for you to resolve it through forgiveness.

Sometimes the Lord will take you to a specific memory. Sometimes He will just pull up the emotions and ask you to give it to Him. To lay that pain at the foot of the Cross and forgive the ones that hurt you.

When you do, it's like the pain subsides and peace comes to reside in that place.

It's like you go into some kind of surgical room with you and the Lord and He mends your soul.

Forgiveness isn't a feeling but a willingness to release the person and allow God to deal with them as well.

It's not a quick fix-by any means. The Lord knows how much we can handle and when. It is a process of purging that can take years sometimes, depending on how frequent the abuse and how severe.

Blessings!

 

[Warrior4ChristAL]

Those of us who have come through tremendous abuse and have walked through our own healing process need to encourage those that are still on their journey.

I found the longer I held out on the Lord the more I was hurting myself.

Unfortunately, those that are the perpetrators on us tend to rule us long after the abuse has ended.

We continue to rehash, relive, reinvent and stop the flow of Christ's pure love through us when we are broken.

It is God's best for us to be healed and it is His desire that we do not withhold our pain from Him.

Many times we are found holding the pain so long that we restrict the flow of love, acceptance and forgiveness to the people in our lives now, or we refuse to receive it for ourselves from others.

While the journey can be a long and emotional one, we need to recognize where our pain is coming from. Often times it doesn't manifest through tears but through anger and bitterness, distrust and fear.

Most times when we have a current problem in our lives we can see how it stems from a deeper rooted issue in our hearts. This is the area of need but sometimes it isn't a conscious thing where you can put your finger on it and tag it.

It takes a willingness to come before the Lord, totally naked and vulnerable. And for an abuse victim that can also be a problem. While we love the Lord, we can often feel distrustful with Him as well. Wondering why He just doesn't TAKE the pain from us but rather desires to WALK THROUGH the pain with us.

God already knows where you are broken and often times He is waiting for your permission to go into those places. He is very gentle but sometimes firm on healing it. Partly because it can and oftentimes does stop the flow of the Holy Spirit in our lives and in our calling.

For instance: Jesus said to love your neighbor AS YOURSELF.

Those of us who have low self-esteems have a difficult time loving and caring for self. Until you learn to love and forgive self, how can you do it for others?

God's best is for nothing missing, nothing broken, wholeness and peace in our lives.

I was a very tormented human being, even as a Christian. I often had night terrors and extreme insomnia. Having MPD/DID my torment was shattered into hundreds of pieces. When both the demonic realm was attacked in the spirit and the emotional/mental was healed THEN my torment stopped. It was penetrating into every aspect of my life. Relationships were effected, my church life, my home life and my work life. Everything tended to get worse before it got better.

Now, I live free from the torments of the past and totally healed in my mind, will and emotions.

It's not easy but it is a journey worth traveling.

We need to come to a place where we fully and completely trust the Lord to go into those areas and to purge out the hurts so that we can live without guilt, shame, pain and bitterness.

I hope those still on their journey find hope, but I also encourage those who have overcome to also encourage those still struggling.

 

[restore]

It is so hard to get rid of nightmares, and it seems I just often encounter abusers, they keep coming, and i can only relate or talk to those people...it is so sad, but why?
Jesus needs to end this circle and bless my spirit my minds , emotion soon...