First of all, I certainly thought I'd be a lot "farther along" in life by the time I got to 31 than I've actually turned out to be. Not even necessarily in terms of career (although I did think my income would be higher by now), but I thought for sure I'd be married and have a house, kids, etc. by this point.
Problem is, I got into a bad marriage at 26, which set everything back and left me with nothing to show for it. I felt I was on the brink of something big by getting into a business that I could have succeeded in (real estate), but wasn't prepared to go it alone, which is of course what ended up happening very soon after I got started (divorce). That was after two and a half years of marriage. Nearly three years later, I am finally ALMOST earning what I was earning at age 26 (5 years ago), but also have a lot more debt than I ever had before (after living off of credit cards when trying to get into the aforementioned business, having no steady income or other financial support).
Moral of the story so far: Do not run ahead of God and make big decisions for yourself without being sure if it's what He has for you (especially when it comes to relationships!).
This thread has become far more despressing than kittysbecute ever intended, so let me talk a little bit about redemption for a moment.
Despite the messes I've gotten myself into which have truly hindered God's blessings for quite a while now, the fact remains that I, little ol' me, am still loved by the Creator of the entire universe. What's more, I still have a purpose in life to fulfill. Something bigger than myself. Something impacting the eternities of others. God takes what I have gone through and turns it into a testimony of just what He died to forgive, and how He came back to life to give me new life every day (and for all eternity). It's remarkable and peculiar, and one has to wonder, why would He put Himself through all the trouble? It really must be love.
I'm trying now to be careful not to run ahead of God again. I am putting in the effort to rebuild, and believing Him to show me just how He wants me to go about it. My heart's #1 desire is to share the Gospel with people, but I also desire to be married and have a home. I'm not even concerned about having kids anymore (especially with the insanity taking place in the world right now), but I'd still like to have a home. A place for sanctuary, and a place to gather with others and enjoy the time God gives us.
Somewhere in all of this bantering, I think I've answered most of the questions in the original post. Hopefully it makes someone think about their priorities in life, perhaps even some choices they're facing.
