Without trying to promote my beliefs, I will say I still believe in God/Jesus and the beliefs regarding salvation - but I no longer consider the Bible of great importance other than to deliver said message. I'm also very careful of my beliefs. To me, this basically makes me Agnostic - and I am one now for other reasons as well.
Here is what I now believe. I once met someone who said that everything was an infinite. Well I say, everything is a Paradox.
My emotions have really been getting the best of me lately. The best I have ever felt, is when I numbed them out. I couldn't think of a theological justification of this as a Christian, but I might think of some reasoning as an Agnostic.
Hey bro. It sounds like this might be your first experience adventuring away from being a Christian. Quite a lot of people do this and then come back like the prodigal son. Some people end up so far away, they seem to never come back. I do have advice for you, because I would have wished to have received this advice too: that it is common to fall under the influence of unrighteous Christians (who are actually of demonic and not holy spirit), and while having a lack of Holy Spirit influence, then we become disillusioned and misled - leading to a breakdown in our faith.
When you consider Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Galatians 5:7-9 and 1 Corinthians 15:33, it is apparent the importance to choose good company.
Also, the Old Testament God was, respectfully, pretty dark. I kind of believe respectfully, He is dark even today. That you can find him in light, but also in darkness.
As you can see... now I am just believing whatever I want to beieve.
God's law is eternal, righteous and holy. It does not mean that everyone who handles the authority of His name is acting with holy intentions. This has been an ongoing issue throughout the whole of history where God's law has been an interest in The Kingdom of God as operated by fallen humans.
Christianity (as exercised in Holy Spirit) has introduced a very remarkable difference: Hebrews 7:24-25. We actually have a high priest who has been tested and found perfectly faithful to God. What's more is that Hebrews 10:26-31 describes how our reverence for His blood causes us to hate sin like never before, and in this way, Hebrews 10:14 states that we have been made perfect according to God's law by this means. By our perfect obedience - we always choose to repent, then we always have vindication according to God's law.
When you consider the example in 1 Kings 13:15-24, I don't mean to suggest that this sort of power to curse doesn't still exist (Romans 12:14, Acts 5:3-6). Rather, I suggest you can think about the situation we have in The Kingdom of God in Jesus' name today: that the majority of Christians have taken a broad road leading to destruction - and what does this mean to imply? That they are not representing The Holy Spirit because they have at some point in their faith, rejected the word of truth that convicts them. They are those who refuse to go near the light for fear their deeds will be exposed. They remove innocent ones from their congregations because of the conviction of their innocent words of righteousness.
Yet, it is not that God is powerless to bring them to repentance.. rather that the workers are few. Since many hands make light work.. then what is the inverse rule?
Matthew 5:20 - if only they knew that God was with them, they would stand firm for Him and He would act mightily through them (David was just a boy against a giant - but he acted for God and God acted to support him).
Christians are groomed to think of church leadership as having authority to rule, and that sheep must comply - through some ordinance enacted by man in Jesus' name (apostolic succession). But, the flesh is weak, and we have evidence all around that such systems of qualification sometimes prevent justice (eg Ecclesiastes 10:5-7). Remember what Jesus said to St. Peter: "thou art Peter, the rock. Upon this rock I shall build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it". If we look into the reason why Jesus spoke this blessing upon St. Peter, it is because St. Peter trusted the truth that God had revealed to him, even against the overwhelming popularity of contrary opinion. This is how we are called to be - to trust what we know God is revealing to us, and to stand boldly against the tide. This is divine revelation, this is real relationship with God, this is what Jesus Christ builds His church upon, and this is what hell cannot prevail against.
-What is wrong with thinking of everything as a paradox?
The problem seems that it might not be necessarily always true. My impression of your motive for this, is that you've found some sort of relief to a cognitive dissonance this way, and you'd like to believe that this can be a permanent solution.
-Is there a theological justification for a purposeful lack of emotion?
It sounds like depression. I know what you are describing. There is less freedom to be alive, .. I would say that the child-inside is no longer bubbling over. Observe children, they get over their problems in minutes, and they keep being cheerful even though they are disrespected and bossed around by uptight parents. It wasn't very long ago at all that you were like that! I remember.
Grown ups sometimes get into a rut where they can never again be free of their problems. This is essentially because children don't have all the worries of life. They have some worries, but they just let Mum and Dad take care of their food and shelter. Where grown-ups are limited in this sense, is by abandoning their relationship to The Heavenly Father. If we have a healthy relationship with Him, we shouldn't need to have worries like that. We trust Him to provide everything. We talk to Him. If we ever wonder how to solve a problem, we ask Him for wisdom and we follow His instructions. (Matthew 18:3).
-How would you refute my idea that God the Father is both light and dark?
Hosea 4:6. "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge". This is the very warning given to Adam and Eve, BTW. The adversary knows that humans are imperfect, that their pride, envy, lust and greed makes it impossible for them to always do what they should do. Then these weak ones have managed to get into positions of authority in church institutions, where they act like Mark 10:42 and not like Mark 10:43-44. These false teachers of 2 Peter 2:1-3 have become the ones of Jeremiah 23 and Ezekiel 34. This is what St. Paul described in 2 Thessalonians 2 - the day of YHWH would not come until there was the great falling away first.
.. So, we say that if anyone is being tempted, it is not God who does the tempting. For God Himself is holy and is unable to tempt anyone with evil. But, we wrestle against not the flesh and blood, but against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
We must love the sinner and hate the sin, and draw close to God for companionship, that He can heal us and use us as His instruments to heal others.
Father, I pray that you will empower our brother here to confidently assert his right to think freely on Your Word. I pray that you will stir in him a new trust, to read Your Word with faith, so that he will hear Your voice and receive from you the knowledge that you seek to impart to him. I ask that you will take away the feelings of despair, gloominess, doubt, and install feelings of hope and strength, - a new vitality for faith, so that he can stand strong against all who seek to cut him down. Instead, may it be that he finds the sword of the spirit in his right hand can cut down all his opponents with words of wisdom that nobody can refute or stand against. We pray this to you Heavenly Father, in Jesus' name, because of our brother's heart for you and for the truth. We pray, let your kingdom come that your will is done on earth. Amen.
