Let's talk about fat.

[Andrea411]

Your posts, Andrea, are right in line with what the thread has become (I'm hoping that's what the discussion has turned towards).

There's one doctor (Dr. Hyman) that says, "food is information to our body"....so it's great you've figured out what foods work well for your husband. I know lots of people that have been able to get off the medications they were on, simply by changing what they eat (and it's not always the obvious things like soda and cookies). A lot of times, what we believe are "good for you" foods (like soy burgers or yogurt) are worse than what we're substituting for (IME).

Yes, processed foods are no more than chemicals - the body spends its energy ridding itself of toxins instead of feeding vital organs. We were actually very good, not eating 'fast foods' except once a week we'd do pizza or Chinese. Well it takes a week for the body to rid itself and start over. So we've pretty much stopped all take out. Maybe once a month we do pizza but now that I don't have it. I get a headache every time I eat it. Thats the MSG and flavor enhancers...
It is easier to throw a chicken in a pan with potatoes and veggies then it is to weed through the nonsense of take out food.
We have learned to use lots of garlic, onions, carrots, dark green leafy veggies and good oils. I use advocado oil, EEO olive (californian) and walnut oil.
They found that foreign companies were using petroleum oil (25-50%) in olive oil. Only Calif. is safe.

Turmeric and cherries for inflammation. We buy cherry concentrate (no sugar) add water and its great. My husband came off all meds for gout. My sisters can't believe how great their arthritis got after using the cherry drink, stopping soda and using turmeric.
Sardines and steel cut oatmeal to cut cholesterol. But cholesterol was never the real problem. If you research it... the people that live the longest have high cholesterol. It.s the triglycerides and inflammation that cause the plaque to break off and cause heart attacks and strokes.
None of these changes hurt our budget, we save money by not going out and we love the food better.
We order in bulk and save money that way too.

Lots of other things too, gotta go, God bless, andrea

 

[mkgal1]

Yes, processed foods are no more than chemicals - the body spends its energy ridding itself of toxins instead of feeding vital organs. We were actually very good, not eating 'fast foods' except once a week we'd do pizza or Chinese. Well it takes a week for the body to rid itself and start over. So we've pretty much stopped all take out. Maybe once a month we do pizza but now that I don't have it. I get a headache every time I eat it. Thats the MSG and flavor enhancers...
It is easier to throw a chicken in a pan with potatoes and veggies then it is to weed through the nonsense of take out food.
We have learned to use lots of garlic, onions, carrots, dark green leafy veggies and good oils. I use advocado oil, EEO olive (californian) and walnut oil.
They found that foreign companies were using petroleum oil (25-50%) in olive oil. Only Calif. is safe.

I feel so fortunate---we have some friends (I live in California) that have an olive ranch, and that's where our olive oil comes from. It puts me so much at ease to know the source (but that's not always possible).

I know what you mean about not even wanting to bother with foods that our bodies reject (like you said, it takes too long to get out of our systems).

Should we share recipes here?

Turmeric and cherries for inflammation. We buy cherry concentrate (no sugar) add water and its great. My husband came off all meds for gout. My sisters can't believe how great their arthritis got after using the cherry drink, stopping soda and using turmeric.
Sardines and steel cut oatmeal to cut cholesterol. But cholesterol was never the real problem. If you research it... the people that live the longest have high cholesterol. It.s the triglycerides and inflammation that cause the plaque to break off and cause heart attacks and strokes.
None of these changes hurt our budget, we save money by not going out and we love the food better.
We order in bulk and save money that way too.

Lots of other things too, gotta go, God bless, andrea

That's what I've learned as well (about the inflammation). I also agree---food is much more enjoyable when you know it's benefiting our bodies. For a long time...I'd always wonder, "is this good or not" (because of all the conflicting advice).

 

[Inkachu]

I'd love to hear some recipes!

Hubby made something I've christened "cheesy chicken & rice" the other day, and it was sooo amazing. Just homemade stock (from old chicken carcasses), chicken breasts, whole grain rice, fresh veggies (carrots, celery, onions), and shredded cheese. Oh mercy. It was heavenly.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

So what responsibility do we each have to stay (or return to) approximately the same shape that we were when our spouse was initially attracted to us?

The approximate weight? ...That right there is unreasonable and quite frankly, it's not reality. So anyone with that mindset has a serious problem with inflexibility.

Actively engaging in healthier lifestyle choices (in diet and exercise) is always good and beneficial, and yes, I do find it very important in a marriage for both spouses to encourage each other in healthier lifestyle choices and regularly promote healthier habits in each other. But to require or put such extreme pressure on your spouse to remain or return to their exact weight and build as they were when you first married them is extreme, and again, it's inflexible. I know a couple who is this way...the husband puts so much pressure on his wife to remain the stick-figure that she is that, in all the years I've known her, I've literally only seen her eat about three or four times. And each time it was a fetus sized salad.

 

[Inkachu]

That is terrible, Miss... terrible, awful, and sad.

 

[mkgal1]

It's wrong, too......to place that much pressure on someone else.

I don't know if I linked the story back in this thread or not.....but I'd read on another forum a gal that had fought to be a certain weight for years by eating 900 calories a day. She'd done that for a long time (causing her social life to suffer for it as well).....and eventually her body started changing and the weight started creeping up. The only thing she knew to do was to reduce her caloric intake even more (she'd already been exercising regularly as well). She cut back to 400 calories per day.....and yes, she did lose---but when she added calories back in (above 400)....she gained weight. She also started getting ill all the time, and went to see a doctor. One cannot keep that up---and what about when her body adapts to 400 calories? You can hardly function for long on less than that. The doctor instructed her to eat more calories (healthy calories---no grains....no sugar....no corn....no soy....low carbs). This idea of weight control just being as simple as "cut out calories and exercise more" is what leads people towards unhealthy (and unsuccessful) ways of eating---and way of life, even (IMO).

 

[seeingeyes]

It's wrong, too......to place that much pressure on someone else.

I don't know if I linked the story back in this thread or not.....but I'd read on another forum a gal that had fought to be a certain weight for years by eating 900 calories a day. She'd done that for a long time (causing her social life to suffer for it as well).....and eventually her body started changing and the weight started creeping up. The only thing she knew to do was to reduce her caloric intake even more (she'd already been exercising regularly as well). She cut back to 400 calories per day.....and yes, she did lose---but when she added calories back in (above 400)....she gained weight. She also started getting ill all the time, and went to see a doctor. One cannot keep that up---and what about when her body adapts to 400 calories? You can hardly function for long on less than that. The doctor instructed her to eat more calories (healthy calories---no grains....no sugar....no corn....no soy....low carbs). This idea of weight control just being as simple as "cut out calories and exercise more" is what leads people towards unhealthy (and unsuccessful) ways of eating---and way of life, even (IMO).

That did not happen. It's not physically possible. Nobody above the age of 1 gains weight on 900 calories a day.

I only say this again because I know that it is important to you to kill the misinformation we are all wading in.

 

[faroukfarouk]

The approximate weight? ...That right there is unreasonable and quite frankly, it's not reality. So anyone with that mindset has a serious problem with inflexibility.

Actively engaging in healthier lifestyle choices (in diet and exercise) is always good and beneficial, and yes, I do find it very important in a marriage for both spouses to encourage each other in healthier lifestyle choices and regularly promote healthier habits in each other. But to require or put such extreme pressure on your spouse to remain or return to their exact weight and build as they were when you first married them is extreme, and again, it's inflexible. I know a couple who is this way...the husband puts so much pressure on his wife to remain the stick-figure that she is that, in all the years I've known her, I've literally only seen her eat about three or four times. And each time it was a fetus sized salad.

I read that some 'expert' in Yale tried to have a Chinese student expelled because she was too petite...

Yes, I agree about exercise; I should do more myself.

 

[bhsmte]

It's wrong, too......to place that much pressure on someone else.

I don't know if I linked the story back in this thread or not.....but I'd read on another forum a gal that had fought to be a certain weight for years by eating 900 calories a day. She'd done that for a long time (causing her social life to suffer for it as well).....and eventually her body started changing and the weight started creeping up. The only thing she knew to do was to reduce her caloric intake even more (she'd already been exercising regularly as well). She cut back to 400 calories per day.....and yes, she did lose---but when she added calories back in (above 400)....she gained weight. She also started getting ill all the time, and went to see a doctor. One cannot keep that up---and what about when her body adapts to 400 calories? You can hardly function for long on less than that. The doctor instructed her to eat more calories (healthy calories---no grains....no sugar....no corn....no soy....low carbs). This idea of weight control just being as simple as "cut out calories and exercise more" is what leads people towards unhealthy (and unsuccessful) ways of eating---and way of life, even (IMO).

Interesting story. If this person gained weight on 900 cal a day, she must of went through a fairly long period of basically being one step away from starvation.

This is why strict caloric reduction is the worst thing anyone can do to lose fat, because your body wants to survive and it slows everything down to adapt to such low caloric intake. When you do eat a little bit more, your body will do what it can to pack on fat (even if your are not eating much), because fat is your long term fuel source and insurance policy from being starved. Not quite to this level, but many a people, have lost 10 pounds or so in a couple weeks by heavily reducing intake, only to gain back 15, when they start to eat again.

And in reality, the core principle behind losing fat, is to consume slightly less calories than what you need to maintain your current body weight and to exercise to assure you maintain muscle mass. Of course, you want to eat as healthy as possible, but the exercise component is really the lynch pin.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

That is terrible, Miss... terrible, awful, and sad.

It is sad. But I find more that I'm in awe at the fact that she can respect and love her husband despite that he demands this of her...and what's more, that she allows it.

It's wrong, too......to place that much pressure on someone else.

I don't know if I linked the story back in this thread or not.....but I'd read on another forum a gal that had fought to be a certain weight for years by eating 900 calories a day. She'd done that for a long time (causing her social life to suffer for it as well).....and eventually her body started changing and the weight started creeping up. The only thing she knew to do was to reduce her caloric intake even more (she'd already been exercising regularly as well). She cut back to 400 calories per day.....and yes, she did lose---but when she added calories back in (above 400)....she gained weight. She also started getting ill all the time, and went to see a doctor. One cannot keep that up---and what about when her body adapts to 400 calories? You can hardly function for long on less than that. The doctor instructed her to eat more calories (healthy calories---no grains....no sugar....no corn....no soy....low carbs). This idea of weight control just being as simple as "cut out calories and exercise more" is what leads people towards unhealthy (and unsuccessful) ways of eating---and way of life, even (IMO).

Well, regardless of whether or not this particular story is true, this sort of method of desperately trying to be thin (or the 'ideal' weight by society's terms) does go on and it's sad. Borderline starvation is never, ever a good, safe, and beneficial way to lose or maintain a healthy weight.

 

[Inkachu]

OK, there's "brisk, refreshing walk" and there's "exhausting, painful walk". I prefer the former. A mile a day is a bit much on my old, decrepit body lol. I love walking every day, but think I'm gonna cut back a little on the distance. Plus, I get BORED when I'm walking. Exercise is just... boring. Unless you're doing something fun, obviously, like playing with your kids or something. Anywho.

 

[Hetta]

Starvation diets are dumb. For clarification read Portia de Rossi's book "Unbearable Lightness." In it, she details how she would eat these tiny amounts every day and then feel even guilty about that, so she would run up and down the stairs at her apartment building in an attempt to burn it off. She almost - literally - killed herself. Her liver was packing up along with other vital organs, and she had to be hospitalized to save her life. The photographs of her from this period looks like she was recently liberated from a concentration camp. It's just really not a good look.

<Typed while virtuously eating a bowl of oatmeal>

 

[High Fidelity]

There is a big difference between laziness and cursing genetics whilst eating your 3rd McDonalds of the day... I think that's the distinction that needs to be made.

I think people are more comfortable with being over weight. I have seen enough women with more rolls than a bakery call themselves curvy, which kinda says it all.

It's about activity and the ability to hold your hand up and admit there is a problem. I recently began to address my weight issue and I accept that there are no other factors to blame other than a sedentary lifestyle and bad diet..

I do however think it's pretty unreasonable to expect your partner to stay in shape all the time though.
I get that physical attractiveness plays a part, but if you are basing a significant weight of the relationship on superficialities, it's pretty sad.

 

[DZoolander]

The problem with weight issues is that it's a subject that's completely muddled. Everyone has a friend or heard about someone that ate 400 calories a day while running weekly marathons and yet ballooned up. Everyone knows about a friend of a friend whose husband berated her for having gained 5 lbs on her 6'3" stick figure frame. Everyone has heard this story or that story.

We turn on talk shows and see some anorexic barely holding on to life sitting on a stage with some morbidly obese person covered in bed sores - both complaining about how the "expectations of society" have caused their plight... blah blah.

It's all a bunch of crap, IMHO.

In the real world - I've never met a person who expects their spouse to remain the same weight they started out at. In the real world - the only time I see an issue is when a spouse DRASTICALLY shifts (like they started out being fit - then moved into the really obese category)...and that's NOT the same thing as "expecting your spouse to remain the same".

In the real world - I've never met anyone that truly failed at a real effort at trying to lose weight. I'm sorry - but eating a couple of salads for a couple of weeks while working out like a fiend, to then weigh yourself and get upset at the results and then return to the fat-producing behaviors you held previously is not a real effort to lose weight. A real effort to lose weight is eating properly (and you know what that means) and adopting a healthy regimen of exercise in one year, never stopping, and then checking in on yourself two or three years later to see what's happened. VERY few people do that.

Rather - what you see is people looking for evidence of failure. I'm sorry - but the way people approach "dieting" generally is nothing more than that (looking for evidence of failure so you can justify where you are and return to normal). When I did my weight loss thing 15 years ago - I started in July and didn't weigh myself again for about 8-9 months (and then just as a curiosity item)...and then didn't weigh myself again probably for another year. You need to trust that your body will work the way it ought to - and just don't stop...ever.

 

[Inkachu]

I agree that we need to get off the scale and stop fretting over every pound, every ounce, every little bite of food. There's a growing movement of people striving to achieve health instead of thinness, or a certain weight/size, and that's really encouraging. The term "diet" needs to be flushed down the toilet. We all need to adopt healthy lifestyles; not just what we eat, but how we sleep, how we exercise, how we care for our emotions and minds. It's all inter-connected.

Sigh... so I wake up this morning, and the hubster has made fried eggs, biscuits, and sausage. I'm thinking "really? this is healthy?!" And he KNOWS better. But he can eat all that greasy stuff and not gain an ounce; I can't. But then I feel bad for not partaking of something that he made for the family... grr. I wound up having the eggs and a single bite of sausage (delicious but soooo greasy). Didn't touch the biscuits. Had some of my organic granola instead!

It really sucks when you're trying to eat healthy, and you're married to someone who is on-again, off-again with the efforts. One day they're all gung-ho about sticking with the healthy stuff, then they're offering you greasy sausages. It's so frustrating and tiring sometimes.

 

[Hetta]

Hmmm Inka, I would find that difficult too. It's almost like being set up to fail. If you simply don't eat what he's making, if you stick to healthy options, will he give up after a while making this kind of breakfast? I honestly couldn't eat that - it would make me sick.

 

[Inkachu]

Hmmm Inka, I would find that difficult too. It's almost like being set up to fail. If you simply don't eat what he's making, if you stick to healthy options, will he give up after a while making this kind of breakfast? I honestly couldn't eat that - it would make me sick.

I eat my own food most of the time, unless he's making something relatively healthy, which he's very good at when he does it! But he's got those southern, bachelor roots, where life is all about biscuits, bacon, and BBQ. He didn't have anyone to care what he ate for decades, and now he's looking at the big 5-0 in a few years, and his body isn't going to sustain all this cheating as he gets older. He's already dealing with diabetes and psoriasis. He doesn't eat junk all the time, but he "cheats" way too much. I've asked him and talked to him and urged him. But I'm not his mama, and I'm not going to become a naggy wife, so I just remind him that he's loved, he's needed, and we want him around for a long time. The ball's in his court. I've told him that I'd love to go straight vegetarian in our house, and get away from all processed foods. He'll SAY that it's a great idea, but so far, he hasn't acted on it lol.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

OK, there's "brisk, refreshing walk" and there's "exhausting, painful walk". I prefer the former. A mile a day is a bit much on my old, decrepit body lol. I love walking every day, but think I'm gonna cut back a little on the distance. Plus, I get BORED when I'm walking. Exercise is just... boring. Unless you're doing something fun, obviously, like playing with your kids or something. Anywho.

I agree. Exercising is one of the most boring things to do in my mind. My kind of exercise is staying 'physically active'. I love the outdoors and I'm always ready and willing to go for a walk, hike, horseback riding, ect. I absolutely love to play volleyball and softball. Regularly keeping up such activities (and of course keeping up with your children if any) is one of the best ways to promote a healthy weight.

I eat my own food most of the time, unless he's making something relatively healthy, which he's very good at when he does it! But he's got those southern, bachelor roots, where life is all about biscuits, bacon, and BBQ. He didn't have anyone to care what he ate for decades, and now he's looking at the big 5-0 in a few years, and his body isn't going to sustain all this cheating as he gets older. He's already dealing with diabetes and psoriasis. He doesn't eat junk all the time, but he "cheats" way too much. I've asked him and talked to him and urged him. But I'm not his mama, and I'm not going to become a naggy wife, so I just remind him that he's loved, he's needed, and we want him around for a long time. The ball's in his court. I've told him that I'd love to go straight vegetarian in our house, and get away from all processed foods. He'll SAY that it's a great idea, but so far, he hasn't acted on it lol.

We must be very much of the same mindset. ...Gentle encouragement. That and regularly slipping him (nonchalantly, lol) informative facts about better and healthier food/drink choices. My eldest sister actually has started doing what she calls 'Meatless Mondays' where she cooks a different and creative meal each Monday without meat. *I mention this since you said you'd like to eventually go vegetarian.

Little changes or shakes ups in your regular diet/routine like that could help encourage and nudge him to develop more of an effort to make some changes in his diet. ...I would say it's taken about 10 years to get where I am in knowledge about food and drink and the changes that have been made in my daily diet. So it's definitely not something that's an easy and quick change, especially for those who haven't felt the need to give much thought to their diet. But with time people come around.

 

[Andrea411]

I eat my own food most of the time, unless he's making something relatively healthy, which he's very good at when he does it! But he's got those southern, bachelor roots, where life is all about biscuits, bacon, and BBQ. He didn't have anyone to care what he ate for decades, and now he's looking at the big 5-0 in a few years, and his body isn't going to sustain all this cheating as he gets older. He's already dealing with diabetes and psoriasis. He doesn't eat junk all the time, but he "cheats" way too much. I've asked him and talked to him and urged him. But I'm not his mama, and I'm not going to become a naggy wife, so I just remind him that he's loved, he's needed, and we want him around for a long time. The ball's in his court. I've told him that I'd love to go straight vegetarian in our house, and get away from all processed foods. He'll SAY that it's a great idea, but so far, he hasn't acted on it lol.

The key is to slowly introduce good foods without making a big deal out of it. Find a beverage he can drink that is good. We drink black cherry concentrate no sugar added. You can make lots of breads that are based in something other than white flour. Don't even tell him its good for him. Tea with honey and lemon is so much better than tea with sugar. Instead of soda, iced coffee.

The black cherry drink has been fantastic, no sugar, you make it to the strength you want and tell him its for inflammation - it really helps with arthritis and absolutely was a miracle for my husband's gout. We only found out about it being good for arthritis after we'd been drinking it for awhile and my husband realized his knees didn't hurt anymore. Then my sisters tried it... now we all order it by the case. $6.50 per 12 oz concentrate (free s&h for over 35$). Make 10- 12 lg glasses. We figure that less than gatorade. We had been drinking gatorade when we got off of soda.

He really needs to know the consequences of diabetes. Over time they are terrible.

We order from Vitacost but amazon carries it also. I don't like paying for shipping. See if any of your grocers carry it.

 

[Inkachu]

Yes, we are thinking alike here! I love being outside and doing stuff, like swimming, hiking, playing catch with my son. And I do love walking, but when it's a "chore", like "OK, I have to go walk or I'll get FAT, ugh, I don't feel like it", it rapidly loses the fun factor. I love a quick walk around the block, but when I'm out there for 30 minutes, I find myself thinking "Ugh, I'm so bored!" Sad, I know. And I live in a great little neighborhood, all quiet little picturesque streets. Maybe I just need an attitude adjustment. What I really love is riding my bike, but another CFer kinda killed that for me by telling me that walking is better exercise. Sigh.

As for my hubster, I'm torn between trying to be patient and gradually encourage him to make healthier choices, and thinking "OMGOSH he's gonna be 50 soon and he's got diabetes, we need to change things NOW! Red alert!!!"

*shrugs*