Let Me Try This Again

[bshaw96]

I am leaving CF until God leads me otherwise. I was gonna give away all my blessings to poster 88, but decided to be a little more original. Today is my 30th birthday. Whoever can cheer me up or make me laugh gets all my blessings . So let's have it, the best thing about turning 30! After 25 posts, I will choose the winner. Make it good now, I need the laugh.

 

[PSETranslator]

Happy Birthday. Here's a joke.......

 

[VioletAngel]

That's a good cartoon.

I don't have anything that funny...but take some advice from someone who has been 30 before....THAT WAS THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE!! Thirties are sooooo cool. People have to take you more seriously because you are "no longer just a kid" ... and thirties have it made because you are still young enough to have great fun, yet are old enough to know just enough to do it safely ! The thirties are when you will look your best, think your best, and do your best! Enjoy them while you got them....because they go way too fast!

P. S. Forties are good too....

 

[valerielynn]

Hello,I am 40(eek) so I would have to say that it is great to turn thirty>somehow it makes you feel like you are finally "all grown up"...you know,totally matured....and I think that teen-agers and young adults will look at you as someone who has more wisdom and of course you have more experience.now turning 40 is a whole different ballgame,I feel the same as when I was 39 but as soon as you mention you are forty to a teen or young adult..you get that look like ,my gosh you are old!!! I hate it....he he.I guess we have to just be satisfied with whatever age we are because there isnt anything we can do about it!

 

[Mecimore]

here are a few jokes I found this morning Enjoy.

 

[JesseRaymondBassett]

God loves you no matter how old or young you are!

 

[Truth Be Told]

I can give ya some food for thought.....maybe youll laugh!!



If a duck only had one leg would it swim in a circle?

Nissan says their cars are Built For The Human Race. Just who else would they build them for?

If Snickers really satisfies, then why do they make a King-size bar?

The Pillsbury dough boy turns 30 this year. Do we give him a cake for his birthday? Isn't that cannibalism?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

When you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?

Have you heard about the magic tractor ? Well it went down the road and it turned into a field!



Cheesy but kinda funny


Ange

 

[corvus_corax]

Not really a joke, just a humorous observation-

Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.

Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mom, I can't go to school looking like this!)

Age 20: She looks at herself and sees; too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly - but decides she's going out anyway.

Age 30: She looks at herself and sees; too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly;-but decides she doesn't have time to fix it so she's going out anyway.

Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall,too straight/too curly" - but says, At least, I am clean and goes out anyway.

Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes wherever she wants to go.

Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.

Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life.

Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.

Maybe we should all grab that purple hat earlier.

 

[ManDogdog]

here's one

a young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well son,
it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my
last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the
entire day polishing that apple and, at the end of the day, I
sold the apple for ten cents.

The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I
spent the entire day polishing them and sold them for 20 cents. I
continued this system of polishing and selling, each time
reinvesting my profits into buying more apples."

"Wow!" said the young man, "and that's how you accumulated your
fortune?"

"Nah", said the old man, "my wife's father died and left us two
million dollars."

 

[deornie]

There have a smile

 

[soda]

ok. I'll try my luck.

check this out and don't forget to change the music!
http://frag4fun.free.fr/bisounours/

or maybe you like this better?
http://www.zombo.com/

if nothing helps, write yourself an e.mail to your future you. or so.
http://futureme.org/index.php

 

[soda]

or this one?
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

 

[Bemiah_Angel]

http://thebackpew.com/backpew/0_teenboxers.htm

hope u like

 

[Bemiah_Angel]

http://www.StupidVideos.com/?VideoID=883
This might just make you cringe

 

[Bemiah_Angel]

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>Stuff that Annoys Me


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> People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for TV remote because they refuse to walk up to the TV and change the channel manually.


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> When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too.” Screw that. What good is a cake if you can’t eat it? What, should I eat someone else’s cake instead?


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> When people say “It’s always in the last place you look.” Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking for something after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?


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> When people say while watching a movie, “Did you see that?” No, dumbo, I paid $9.00 to come to this theatre and stare at the ceiling up there. What did you come here for?


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> When something is “new and improved” which is it? If it’s new then there has never been anything before it. If it’s improved then there must have been something before it.


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> When a cop pulls you over and asks if you know how fast you were going. You should know, you’re the one who pulled me over!


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> When people say “Life is short.” What? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does! What, are they going to do something that’s longer?


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> When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks you “Has the bus come yet?” If the bus came I would not be standing here, stupid!


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> This should cheer you up


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> People who ask “Can I ask you a question?” Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?

 

[corvus_corax]

The best things about a woman over 30-

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They already know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick.

A woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Women over 30 are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.


All praise women over 30!