Length of relationship before marriage?

[.Iona.]

How long would you guys say one should be with their partner before getting married?

I have been with my partner for a while, although he was just ordained recently, so he has wanted to focus on his new position in the church before anything else.
He has been focusing on his job a lot, and it's almost like we are not as together as we used to be. I sometimes wonder whether we can call it a true relationship at times.

I am not thinking of getting married just yet - we would definitely need to get our relationship back on track first, but was wondering how long you guys thought was best? It was something we talked about a few weeks ago - about how it would be great to have a vicarage, and work in the church together etc.

I think with being a new vicar, he is very unsure of doing anything that others might not consider 'Christian enough', and it's not making this relationship any easier, yet at times he seems to want to take things further. I'm confused!

 

[Luther073082]

There is no magic number. . .

In general I would look more at age then anything. I think the younger you are, in general the longer relationship you want before you start getting married.

My wife and I said our vows about a year and 8 months after we started dating. But we where both 27 at the time we got married.

At your age, if the both of you can make enough income to take care of you both, then most likely if you arn't ready to be married after 2 or 3 years together, then you likely never will be.

 

[iambren]

I would say if you're serious 1-3 years. Marriage is a higher call than the pastorate.

 

[Created2Write]

My husband and I dated for seven months, were engaged for two months. However, we had known each other since second grade so I don't recommend that for others.

 

[beckyjustbecky]

I mm you shoul at lease date for 12-18 months, if your still quite young. My husband and I grew up together, dated for about 20 months, were engaged for 12 and it was fantastic for us! Our families couldn't financially help us out so we used that time to save money for the wedding/honeymoon/house ect. We knew eachother very well by the time we got to live together and for us, our first 5months of marriage have been wonderful!

I think anything shorte than that time frame if your still quite young will take a lot of "learning"'when you move in together, which is a challenge in itself even when you've grown up with the guy! Lol

 

[JRSut1000]

Not to be cliche, but God's timing is best. Someone can date the same person for years and not know if that person is who they should marry. On the other hand, someone can know someone for only a few minutes and know right away.

Me personally, I knew my man for about a year, engaged for 6 months, then married. We met in person, but because of distance around 85% of our getting to know each other was long-distance. We never dated. Our first kiss was on the lips. And marriage for us was NOT an option unless we had it confirmed to us by the Lord through 2-3 witnesses. And we got that and we're happily married 3 years.

 

[dinonum]

My husband and I dated for 7 months before we got engaged, and knew each other for 9. We were married after dating for a total of 11 months.

Everyone is different though. I wouldn't ever recommend that length of time though, lol, it wasn't very long for most couples.

 

[Chris7]

Growing up I always thought that people dated for 2+ years and then were engaged for several months, obviously this isn't always the case.

My wife and I met in August of 2006 and we're engaged by January of 2007, then married in February that same year. Pretty quick by many people's standards. It will be different of course from couple to couple. One of the authors I respect very much says that there are several things that a couple should be in agreement about before marraige: finances, religion, and family. My wife and I clicked well on each of these and went much deeper into theology and ethical issues before becoming serious with each other but when we did get serious we pretty much went all in

 

[CelticGrace]

When I was growing up, nearly everyone I knew dated for at least 1-2 years, and were engaged for 6 months or a year before getting married.

My husband and I never dated. Period. We met online (not with the intention, on either part, of looking for a mate). 8 months later, we were both single and realized we were in love. He asked me to marry him before we'd ever met in person. Then I moved in with him. 6 months after that, he "officially" asked me to marry him (this was the one we told our families about). A year and a half after that, we got married. We've been married for 7 years.

I wouldn't recommend this route to anyone lol

 

[Langley]

We were married in 13 month of going out but had known each other for 4 years doing youth camps, Married 7 months from being engaged.

There is not set time but your relationship with your other half is important so do not let his new job get in the way. Talk about it and discuss some of your concerns.

 

[.Iona.]

My husband and I never dated. Period. We met online

Wow!

I'm glad that it has worked out so well for you!

There is not set time but your relationship with your other half is important so do not let his new job get in the way. Talk about it and discuss some of your concerns.

I know our relationship is important, but he has worked so hard to get his own parish and I am so proud of him. I just want to support him.

I will talk to him about how he sees the relationship though, it would be good to know!

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

There is no time limit since it will vary by individual and couple, but 1-3 years seems to be the "normal" range.

 

[chelsea89]

We dated for 4 years, skipped the engagement, and got married.