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Lead me on ...
- Thread starter Princess Pea
- Start date
Tuffguy
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That makes what an actual date is very very confusing. If i took a girl out and paid for everything,,,and this went on a few times.... the girl should make it clear that she is or is not interested. Its not wrong if she doesn't, but 9.9999999 out of 10 guy don't pay for things unless they expect something in return. Its common sense.
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joyouspirit
I love my mikey!
I agree. No one should pursue a girl like that unless they are really sure, its devastating being left out on the cold. Or maybe kept it first at a very friendly atmosphere and start from there. But as you said you did that and still he said in the end, he didn't have feelings for you.
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Beauty4Ashes
All that I need, is a song in my heart. . .
Your post sort of confused me, as to whether you think guys do do these things if they are interested or if thy do them either way.
Regardless, from my experience; a guy can do all of the above, invite you out, take you to movies, pay for tickets, outings, open doors, offer their coat, even have you over and make you dinner, and tons of other related things; yet still end up saying they are uninterested.
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Llauralin
Senior Veteran
I actually agree with both. It is very confusing, but it does happen. I think it's a Christian guy/raised to be gentelmanly thing.
Case study: I have this guy friend who's confusing me horribly just now. I've known hom for about seven months, and have a bit of a crush on him; he likes me, but I can't for anything figure out as what. We do alot of stuff with one other friend (married) and at church, but recently stuff with just us as well. I went over to his house to cook the other day, and ended up staying for about 7 hours; we watched his favorite funny/silly movie in his room after attempting to make kettle corn, and having dinner with his family; went out to the county fair together, and a couple of other things. I wrote him a letter 5 months ago on Christianity and the use of the intellect (both of us have a tendency to blur the line between the letter and the short essay), and he wrote back a 3 page footnoted response, quoting the original, last week. And he wants me to come with him on a church-visiting trip to San Fransisco, where his good friend works at the cathedral. He always at least tries to pay for everything, even though he doesn't have all that much money, including when there are other female friends there.
Do most guys act like that with their female (not interested) friends?
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mina
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sometimes even when you ask,it's confusing. I used to ask my ex all the time what his intentions were, even after months of dating exclusively. and he would tell me what he wanted from our relationship, which was exciting and lovely to me b/c I was deep in prayer about him and I agreed it was what I wanted too. And I thought it was what God wanted and He was leading us together. This is what scares me so much about trusting a guy that seems interested. I don't know maybe I was just stupid and discusting after all. I really don't know anymore.
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Llauralin
Senior Veteran
I would actually consider the case posted in the OP article to be a good example. She did ask about his intentions, he answered positivly, but as soon as the glow had faded (or he figured out what he had really mean... not sure which), he backtracked and said that he never really meant "date" to be "persuing a romantic relationship" in the first place. So rather than clarity, all she got out of asking was resentment.
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Beauty4Ashes
All that I need, is a song in my heart. . .
I can so relate to and agree with both of you (mina, lauralin; not to mention the author mentioned in the OP); so much that I can't even put it into appropriate words.
It becomes hard to trust when a guy likes you or when you like a guy. Because even when both like eachother, it can still blow up in your face. Hence when people fall in and out of love and like every day. I just don't get that. It's scary how common that seems to be. . .
It becomes hard to trust when a guy likes you or when you like a guy. Because even when both like eachother, it can still blow up in your face. Hence when people fall in and out of love and like every day. I just don't get that. It's scary how common that seems to be. . .
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OK, it's starting to make sense. He was interested, and then lost interest when they actually got together. I can buy that. It happens. But I wish he'd admitted that to her when she asked. He could have said that he'd been hoping for more, but the time together had made him realize it wasn't going to work, and he was disappointed about that. That would have been honest, and would have left her a little dignity.
And I agree that both men and women play games like this.
And I agree that both men and women play games like this.
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Timyone
Senior Member
one thing ill mention, being asked too full on where some thing is headed really early on seriously makes me lose interest unless im head over heals :S
so it isnt llways the best way to do it, and yeah i dont think what he did was actually that bad :S things could have been worse :S maybe he should have been more honest thow :S
so it isnt llways the best way to do it, and yeah i dont think what he did was actually that bad :S things could have been worse :S maybe he should have been more honest thow :S
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OhhJim
Often wrong, but never in doubt
Sometimes we men just aren't very good at this sort of thing. Different people have different skills, and the ability to do this the way she would have preferred, obviously isn't his skill. I, myself, can't swim very well. I know, I know, we can't understand why everyone doesn't have the same skillset as us.
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Manda_24
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That's kinda what my thoghts are on the whole situation too.
Just to add to the stories, here's mine.
I met a guy at the church I go to while I'm at school 3 years ago, the first year we didn't hang out much at all. Once he became the intern at the church, after he graduated, he and I started to do a lot of things together. Several times we would take trips to check out places to hold retreats, it was my job but he always wanted to come along. Last year he came over to my apartment quite a bit also and we talked and watched movies, sometimes with a few other friends sometimes on our own. He took me out rollerblading on our campus then out for icecream a couple of times and a few other places to eat occasionally. He even opens the car door for me, which really shocked me the first time. I stayed here during the summer to take classes and work, we spent a ton of time together and talked about all sorts of things. He finally got a cell phone once he moved and called me a lot or sent me IMs. Everyone at church asks me how he is and everything, they know how close we got. Half of them ask if we are dating. Recently when he's talked to me he's talked about a girl he is interested in.
I feel like he lead me on for quite a while, I'm glad we have such a close friendship and everything but it seems that we were practically dating half the time. I guess it's just a frustrating situation so I can see exactly where the author of the article was coming from.
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JPPT1974
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People do fall in an out of love
And when they fall in love
It should be for the goodness of God
As God is Love!
And when they fall in love
It should be for the goodness of God
As God is Love!
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