Ladies?

[jcj3803]

Boy, it's hard to put it out there, but here goes...

I've been taking dance lessons for the past 5 weeks at a new studio and I've been pretty much partnered up with one person. We've been getting along well and having fun and she's asked me a few times about my plans to attend things, etc. although we've never met outside of class.

Last night was the last lesson in the series and she seemed kind of standoff-ish. Not rude or anything, but just not as friendly as usual. The instructor urged us to sign up for the next series but my partner said it wouldn't work for her as the time was too late in the evening and asked what I was doing. I told her I was probably going to continue but I also gave her some info on the studio that I've been going to for quite awhile and told her it was a good place and maybe that would give her some other options. And I encouraged her to come to their weekly practice sessions if it fit her schedule.

Ok, so I'm confused. I got the impression she's a little shy and I didn't really want to ask her out during the series as it could have made things awkward for both of us if she declined. But I also had the feeling there was something going on between us, at least until last night. Well even including last night once we broke the ice again.

Postmortems aren't always a good thing and I'll probably never see her again, but should I have done... something? Was my intuition in need of calibration and I made too much of nothing? Never assume or presume? Should I just go home tonight, have a beer and watch a "Conan the Barbarian" DVD a few times? Thanks.

 

[Gimpy]

Saved your ego, huh? LOL Dont blame ya.

 

[jcj3803]

Saved your ego, huh? LOL Dont blame ya.

Huh. Didn't think of it like that, but maybe you're right. It's a fine line. I plain out won't date anybody I have any kind of professional relationship with - never, ummm, "pollute" your own well so to speak. So when I'm in a class or something I try to be nothing more than friendly to everybody.

Good question though. I'll have to mull that over.

 

[Gimpy]

Hmmm, I was thinking, its the end of the class, she isnt coming back anyway. I dont have to be concerned about feeling awkward if things dont work out. Why wouldnt I ask her for her number at least?
Because she acted like she didnt want me to know anything about her?
But she warmed up after talking to her for a time. So, maybe she is just shy, but what if I am wrong? Then what? Yikes
She will say no. Then I am rejected and all that has to happen is she happens to know somebody who comes here and then all of a sudden they are talking about how silly I am for asking. Etc, etc, etc....
It is just my opinion of course.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I think you should've offered your number so you two could've shared info about future dance classes. Or whatever you want to call it. Then the ball is in her court, but really she could've shared info with you that you might've found useful. You could've at least gained a friend and maybe met some of her friends??? Or you could've just asked for her number because I have been confused before when a number is offered and I really don't know if it really is just an offer to "help me if I need it" or it's something more. I still don't know. This guy is so sweet and usually gives me a hug if he sees me after the service and seems to know when I'm having a rough time. But, he always has his girl "friend" with him so it's a bit confusing. He's invited me out to dinner with the group once, but I had a paper to write. I think he's at least 13 years older than me, so I don't know if he's just trying to be like big brother or what.

Oh, wait. This is your thread.

Anyway, this lady might've been a little miffed because she knew the class was ending and you hadn't made a move yet and that disappointed her.

 

[jcj3803]

Oh, wait. This is your thread.

LOL! Looks like I'm not the only one.

Anyway, this lady might've been a little miffed because she knew the class was ending and you hadn't made a move yet and that disappointed her.

Possibly, but the second series begins in a week. I thought it likely she would continue until she mentioned the time conflict.

Also, there was a practice session last Friday night. Prior to that neither of us was sure we could make it. She said she was going to try and I said I was probably going but I'd probably be late.

I made it to the practice but she didn't show. I don't know, maybe she didn't want to practice with me. But that's totally counter to the last four weeks and adds to my confusion.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Women can be so darn confusing!!!

Just had to throw that out there since women typically say that about men...and it really is true in reverse too...we're just as confusing to men!

Do you think that maybe you were "looking" for a sign since the class was coming to an end and you were contemplating asking her out??? Maybe she was acting the same as usual but it just didn't seem like it since you were actually looking for a sign that she liked you...does that make sense? I'm not sure I'm explaining that right so hopefully you understand what I mean...

I know that I've done that in the past...everythings going along fine...a guy and I seem to be getting along great...I notice little things here and there...and then when I start "looking" for things he all of a sudden doesn't seem as into me...I think I'm totally bumbling this...so I'll move on to my next point...

I totally understand wanting to wait until the end of the session to ask her out...I think that was smart...because it would have made things awkward if she had declined....and I think you did great...you let her know that you are continuing in the class...you gave her information about an alternative studio that might work better for her - you encouraged her to come and you let her know that it is a studio you also go to...

If you see her again, at either studio, then you should just go for it. Ask her out...don't offer your number so she can call you because like eatenbylocusts said that can be a bit confusing for a girl...make it clear that you want to take her to dinner or to a dance or whatever...

You already know that you have a common interest and you said you have fun together...so you have nothing to lose...you are risking rejection but you know what - you'll never know unless you ask...if you like her then don't let the next opportunity pass you by...

Ok...I'll stop talking now!

 

[jcj3803]

Do you think that maybe you were "looking" for a sign since the class was coming to an end and you were contemplating asking her out??? Maybe she was acting the same as usual but it just didn't seem like it since you were actually looking for a sign that she liked you...does that make sense? [...]

Ok...I'll stop talking now!

Was I looking for a sign? Maybe I was. But I wasn't thinking of asking her out because I figured she'd sign up for the next session.

No, don't stop talking. I value everybody's opinions, be they positive or negative. I really think *something* was going on, but darned if I know what. Or maybe it was just a psychotic episode...

Well, she has the info on my main place. I'll go to my usual class and practice there and the rest is up to her.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Was I looking for a sign? Maybe I was. But I wasn't thinking of asking her out because I figured she'd sign up for the next session.

Ahhh...I see what you're saying...then you probably interpreted her actions correctly...maybe she was just having an off day...who knows what happened earlier in the day...maybe she was distracted by something else...

No, don't stop talking.

You may regret that statement!!! LOL!!!

I really think *something* was going on, but darned if I know what. Or maybe it was just a psychotic episode...

I agree...it sounds like she was/is interested in you...I don't think it was a psychotic episode...unless you heard voices in your head...do you hear voices???

Well, she has the info on my main place. I'll go to my usual class and practice there and the rest is up to her.

Exactly! She'll be there if she wants to get to know you better and dance with you again!!!

 

[jcj3803]

I don't think it was a psychotic episode...unless you heard voices in your head...do you hear voices???

Quiet! I'm talking to my invisible friend...

 

[dluvs2trvl]

LOL!

Did you ask him? Maybe he has some good advice for you!

 

[jcj3803]

Yeah, well the strange thing is that as I was walking back into my garage after getting the mail after work tonight and deep in thought, I swore I heard somebody say my name. I heard it clearly enough that I stopped and looked around, thinking it was my neighbor.

Dunno, maybe it was another noise that I only half-consciously picked up on. One more like that though and I am going to check myself in.

But back to the thread...

 

[hope4today]

Quiet! I'm talking to my invisible friend...

anyway, back to the question, I think like it was said earlier, she may have thought you weren't interested and have backed off in disappointed. Kind of a self protection thing. I say this 'cos it seems that after you put some encouragement out there about other classes where you can meet that she warmed up again. (that's not your fault by the way, neither of you can be mind readers. I wish we could sometimes ).
Hopefully she caught those hints and will show up.

And I second the vote that if she does show up, just go for it. If you are interested, then ask her out clearly and see what happens.

Let us know??

 

[jcj3803]

she may have thought you weren't interested and have backed off in disappointed. Kind of a self protection thing.[...] Hopefully she caught those hints and will show up.

[...]

Let us know??

I completely understand the self-protection thing as I've done that myself. And that possibility did cross my mind at the time.

There is a short practice session Friday night at my regular place and early evening classes Sunday. We'll see if she shows.

I really started these lessons to review what I had learned at my main place and keep in practice, not to meet people, so this has been a bit of a distraction. A nice one, but...

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Yeah, well the strange thing is that as I was walking back into my garage after getting the mail after work tonight and deep in thought, I swore I heard somebody say my name. I heard it clearly enough that I stopped and looked around, thinking it was my neighbor.

Dunno, maybe it was another noise that I only half-consciously picked up on. One more like that though and I am going to check myself in.

But back to the thread...

Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do...You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone!

 

[Gimpy]

Did you know that 9 out of 10 voices in my head agree I am sane?

 

[jcj3803]

Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do...You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone!

I work for a major university. Trust me, most faculty are already there.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

I work for a major university. Trust me, most faculty are already there.

Uh-oh...maybe it's rubbing off on you...

So when do you go back to your regular dance studio again?

I just started taking ballroom dance lessons and it's a blast!!!

 

[jcj3803]

So when do you go back to your regular dance studio again?

I never left my regular place. I started there back in January or so with a friend and she had to talk me into it. Ironically, she decided she really was only interested in swing and couldn't fit it into her schedule so she dropped out.

Anyway, they have beginners' lessons Sunday nights and a one hour practice on Friday nights. I signed up at this other place b/c they offer lessons on Tuesday nights and I felt I wasn't getting enough practice time in going on Sundays and then not until Fridays. Plus they're right down the street from each other, so the location was convenient.

I just started taking ballroom dance lessons and it's a blast!!!

Isn't it though? I was really skeptical at first but I've "seen the light". Left, back, right chasse', forward, right, left chasse'... PM me if you want and we can discuss steps, etc.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

I was really skeptical at first but I've "seen the light". Left, back, right chasse', forward, right, left chasse'... PM me if you want and we can discuss steps, etc.

Now you're assuming that I know the names of the steps!!! LOL! I'm still at the slow, slow, quick quick stage...LOL!!!