Kissing a married man

[tturt]

Could you post those Scriptures?

 

[shineyourlight]

Hello everyone, I'm new here. I had no idea where to open this topic so please accept my sincere appologies if I chose the wrong part of the forum.

I need your help, opinion, thoughts.

I know a man who is divorced (no annulment in church, only in civil marriage). His wife cheated on him so he decided to divorce her... I'm single and I have never been married.
We are both Christians, we go to the same church. This is where we met.

The thing is I really love him, with all his flaws and strange behaviour. I love him for that HE IS. Simple as that. I love when he's around, when he smiles, I love listening to him and when he talks with me. Everything there is - I love it about him. This is a kind of pure love. I do not want sex with him. I know it's probably a weird thing to say in these times but when he's next to me, all that counts is that he's next to me, that we are next to eachother, talking. That we devote our time to eachother and that even though we only talk with eachother it's more than enough.

You know, I am a human, he's a human. I was thinking about what if we kissed. But I don't mean kissing with intention to get something more (e.g. sexual act) but I would like to show him as well how much I love him. I haven't talked with him about this but I was also wondering what should I do if he tries to kiss me to show me that he loves me. To be honest I wish he kissed me. All I want is this kiss to be pure, filled with our love, if it ever happens. I do not want it to be sinful. Will God see it as we see it?

I'm a Christian and I do not want to sin in this matter, I also do not want him to sin because of me. But if we kissed to express to eachother how much we love eachother would it still be a sin if it would be a pure kiss, filled with love? Keep in mind what I said above, he's divorced.

Please don't be harsh on me. I'm so confused and lost. I wish I could kiss him and express my love to him. But I also do not want to make him sin because of me.

Well, hello there.

Examine your heart. It seems from your original post, your focus is kissing him. Instead of the kiss being your focus, how about having the focus getting to know him? I feel that if your focus is just kissing him, it can fall under manipulation. "I'll do anything for him just to kiss me." You manipulate, you try to control, and you don't want that. Focus on getting to know the guy. Be friends. Ask yourself, "Why do I want to kiss him?" "Why is this the focus of my relationship with him?" "What does a pure friendship look like?"

Make sure your heart is in the RIGHT place. I've kissed men before, I can't say it's wrong. I can't say it's impure. It can become impure and you must be careful in going down that road.

I'd also say take @Radagast's advice.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

Could you post those Scriptures?

@tturt: are you asking me? just not sure ..

 

[tturt]

referring to God the Father took multiple wives post Thanks for asking though

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

referring to God the Father took multiple wives post Thanks for asking though

Jeremiah 3:6-10
Jeremiah 31:31-32
Ezekiel 23

God uses the imagery for himself of being married to two sisters (the kingdoms of Judah and Israel), having to deal with their unfaithfulness. Something unimaginable and blasphemous if polygamy in itself were a sin.

The same for the concept that God himself gave King Saul's women (not necessarily wives) to King David as stated in 2 Samuel 12:7-8 when he rebukes David for stealing Bathsheba and killing Uriah her husband; a sin that normally would require the death penalty according to Mosaic Law. In 2 Samuel 12:8 God through the prophet Nathan adds even this: '.. if this (the women and the house of Israel and Judah) were too little, I would add to you as much more.' In other words, God was happy to give David more women if the ones he already had were not enough. A more direct approval of polygamy by God is hardly fathomable.

The usual theological bend from us, Western Christians, is that in OT times, God just tolerated polygamy, but never approved of it. But the statements in 2 Samuel 12, the imagery from Jeremiah and Ezekiel, and the instructions for the Levirate marriage (Deuteronomy 25:5–10) do not leave that as an option when we're honest I think

 

[HeartNSoul19]

If your intentions are pure with regards to this relationship, a kiss hardly matters at all.

 

[Gene Parmesan]

 

[shineyourlight]

Your avatar is by far the best one on this site thus far.

 

[Gene Parmesan]

Your avatar is by far the best one on this site thus far.

Thank you! I've had it for a while and you are the first to comment on it. ♥

This is the first thing I thought of when I read the original post:

 

[shineyourlight]

Thank you! I've had it for a while and you are the first to comment on it. ♥

This is the first thing I thought of when I read the original post:

This was my cover photo on Facebook for the longest time.

 

[Gene Parmesan]

This was my cover photo on Facebook for the longest time.

View attachment 302815

Looks like he is well on his way to having a hundred kids so he can have a hundred friends and no one can say no to being his friend. ♥

 

[Will Joseph]

I would not kiss a divorced woman unless I was married to her. In fact, I probably would focus more on marrying a women who isn't divorced. For some Christians, marrying a divorced person is considered adultery. But outside of religion, being intimate with a divorced person wouldn't seem wise to me. I would ask myself, "Why did she divorce?" If she said she divorced because her husband cheated on her, should I trust that answer? Maybe she wasn't a good wife instead.

Some people may argue that kissing on the lips isn't sexual. But syphilis and herpes can be transmitted that way. Also, is it alright for a mother to kiss her child on the lips or a man to kiss another man's wife on the lips?

I'd be alright befriending her, but I would not kiss her nor marry her. I would try looking for a woman who has not married before. And if no such woman exist, then I'd just continue living single.