Kindred Spirits

melody123 said:

Hi.

I met someone in the most unlikely situation. We were both instantly attracted to one another, however, what was most meaningful to me, is that I felt like we connected on a higher spiritual level.. It was like we were of the same nature..two peas in a pod... I knew him and he knew me. I guess the approriate word would be Kindred spirits. Needless to say, I fell madly in love with him quickly.

I have never met anyone like this in my whole life, and it's been so hard to understand why he's turned out to not be available to me. He is already in a committed relationship.

There hasn't been a day since I met him, that I don't think about him. I feel so sad all the time.. I want to let him go, but yet I don't or can't. It just seems so cruel.

I think that my Will is seriously involved. I have prayed and read scriptures on God's love, and it's helped, but I still continue to pine for him.. It's crazy because I know it's so futile. It prevents me from moving on..


Has anyone gone through something similar, and how did you get to a point with trusting God enough to believe that He never withholds any good from us, and that He has a better plan ?

Thanks, Melody

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For this reason God asks us to put Him first in our lives so
that no one will replace Him as the One we love above all others.

When you are young and love hits you like it has in your case
it seems that you could never live without this "one" person but
the truth is you can love another and they can be all and more than
this one you place such a high premium on.

True love is selfless so if this person is happy in another relationship
you should be pleased and thankful that they are blessed and fulfilled
in a love shared with another.

Do not live in the past.
Do not become fixated on this one person.
Trust in the Lord and surrender yourself to Him and His care
and pray for this person that you love and move on.

Life will go on and you will love another a long as you realize that God
is your first love and all love originates and come from Him.

Possessive love will fail and leave you helpless, bitter and unfulfilled but
God's love will cause you to go on knowing that God has a wonderful
plan for your life as you give up your demands and surrender to His
desire to bless you in His way and timing.

I thought I would die at one time and yet God has given me a wonderful
life with a wonderful woman that He brought to me and looking back in
hindsight I see all that I couldn't see before and I realize that God
blessed me in greater ways than I was willing to settled for.

Trust in the Lord and ask Him to give you His unselfish love
that will cause you to desire the best for the one you loved,
even if it is without you.

Agreeing with Pal Handy's post.

I don't know if you read the replies to this in your other thread asking the same question, hon- but I hope you'll forgive me copying and pasting my answer from that one into this thread. I still think it's a valid question. (And yes, I agree with Pal too)

I'm a little concerned about this guy, actually. You say you were both instantly attracted to each other.

Dumb question- but how do you know?

There's a reason I'm asking. How do you know that HE was attracted to YOU? Did he say something to let you know that? Has he ever told you outright? Has he acted in a way towards you that leaves you in no doubt at all of his attraction?

Because if any of that is the case- then, hon- why would you want to be pining over a guy who's low enough to lead you on knowing he has a girlfriend/ wife/ whatever she is. If he's unavailable, what the heck is he doing making it clear that he's attracted to you?

How little does he respect you if he just sees you as someone to lead on or flirt with, knowing he can't follow up on anything. How little does he respect his partner that he'd basically cheat on her by leading on another woman? And if he does it to her- why wouldn't he do it to you?

What was he doing putting you both in a situation where things could get this far. As the one in a relationship, it's his responsibility to make it clear he's off limits from the start.

You say it 'turns out' he's unavailable. Surely to know someone completely and be known by them in return means that you've spent a considerable amount of time together- sharing details about yourselves? Now the fact that he's in a relationship would have been something that would have come to light pretty much immediately- so was he hiding it from you? How did you find out? Either he was deliberately keeping it from you- or you really are not as close as you believe you are. Did you make assumptions? You say you knew him- but if you didn't know he had a partner until your relationship with him was so far gone that you've fallen for him- then, hon, clearly you didn't know him.

It seems that you've spent a lot of time with each other- otherwise how would you have been able to fall for him? I would say maybe he was unaware of your feelings- but, as I said- the fact that you say the attraction is mutual shows that he's gone way past boundaries he shouldn't have messed with. I know it sounds nosey but all this time spent with him for you both to become these kindred spirits- how much of that did he instigate? Have you been meeting up on dates? How on earth did you progress to such a relationship where you're able to say you love him?

He has NOT treated you well.

On the other hand..........

Are you assuming that the attraction is mutual? Have you read into something that may not actually be there?


It would help knowing a bit about how you know he was attracted to you- as that really is a pretty big flag as to whether he's a guy you need to be grateful you're not with- or accepting that maybe this was more of a one sided crush.

melody123 said:

Hi.

I met someone in the most unlikely situation. We were both instantly attracted to one another, however, what was most meaningful to me, is that I felt like we connected on a higher spiritual level.. It was like we were of the same nature..two peas in a pod... I knew him and he knew me. I guess the approriate word would be Kindred spirits. Needless to say, I fell madly in love with him quickly.

I have never met anyone like this in my whole life, and it's been so hard to understand why he's turned out to not be available to me. He is already in a committed relationship.

There hasn't been a day since I met him, that I don't think about him. I feel so sad all the time.. I want to let him go, but yet I don't or can't. It just seems so cruel.

I think that my Will is seriously involved. I have prayed and read scriptures on God's love, and it's helped, but I still continue to pine for him.. It's crazy because I know it's so futile. It prevents me from moving on..


Has anyone gone through something similar, and how did you get to a point with trusting God enough to believe that He never withholds any good from us, and that He has a better plan ?

Thanks, Melody

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I too realized that I had already answered this. I know that my last reply might have appeared harsh, but really, how much do you love this man? Do you love God enough to give him up? Do you love this man enough to give him up? I don't know where you are theologically so I am always tentative to suggest this but I would watch the Nooma DVD by Rob Bell called "Shells" I think that this speaks into what you are going through. Also I would suggest "Flame" as a good one to look at as well.