Kinda lost...

[GalSixNine]

I guess would be the best way to say it. I am one of those people in life, who grew up, having no true friends. Only people I knew, but would never called a friend. I am someone who trust people to much, and helps people I always thought where friends to much. Where it got to the point alot of people who knew me, used me. Knowing that I hated to say "no" to someone, if I could help them. I havent been to Church in many years, and feel weird about going back. I have made many stupid decisions in life, with careers, financies(sp), and school. I always have that feeling of being alone...to the point sometimes it gets so bad I have thought about killing myself before. Well hell, its a pretty common thought with me. I have been into cars before and found myself sometimes flying down the highway at over 140 mph hoping something would go wrong. But at the same time I feel I am to much of a coward to do it. It doesnt help that I feel that my life has already passed me by, and that I am doomed, or punished to lead a crappy life. Hell even at 22 I dont feel I have any real friends. No girlfriend, nothing. I have tried praying asking for a sign, but feel that my prayers fall on deaf ears. I feel that karma has pleagued me my whole life. Always wishing I could restart my life knowing what I know today, to change how I treated people and decisions I made.

I have always turned to the Bible at points to find verses that could help me. But always lived by one; Galatians 6:9. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up!" But feel that I am not deserving of it. I have felt sometimes that I do not believe in a god, but at the same time I do. Just dont know, feel like nothing ever goes right in my life!

 

[Criada]

It sounds as though you are having a hard time right now... I'm sorry it's that way for you.
But, you know, God loves you, hugely and unconditionally. You're right, you don't deserve it, none of us do. `But Jesus died so that we don't get what we deserve, but instead we receive God's free grace and love. You aren't being punished, brother... things are hard because we live in a fallen world, but God's love is a constant, and He won't let you go.

It sounds to me as though you are suffering from depression.. seeing a doctor would be a good idea. Sometimes meds can sort out our brain chemistry and help us to see things in a better light.

I'm praying for you, brother. And remember, God loves you, and He has good plans for your life.

 

[Johnnz]

You post suggests to me that your did not have a great childhood.?If so, then you are still living out the unprocessed pain and inadequacies of your past. There is probably a lot of personal stuff to share at sometime with someone.

John
NZ

 

[bluelime2]

When someone gives their life to God and gets baptized in water and the holy spirit, the bible refers to it as being 'born again'. In otherwords starting all over again with the past washed away.
Not only that you being your christian walk, first as a baby, who God needs to look after us in that sort of a role, then an infant, a child, a teenager etc. As we get stronger in God and grow his relationship with us changes too. He's always loving, but he can relate to an adult differently to a child. However that process is a journey that takes time and commitment. Christianity used to be referred to as 'the way' and in a sense it is a road that we travel, following christ.

The more we put into it, obviously the more we'll get out, but if we leave places that the devil can work in our lives because we just don't want to change, essentially it's stepping off the path. However God is very patient and gentle overall because he knows every drop of our humanity. If our hearts are right, we'll be fine. But if we decide to keep one foot in the world and one in God it'll end up ripping us apart, because you can't have both, ultimatly as a christian.

But that being said, when we follow christ we don't have to become 'churchians' who have to toe the line to a church culture (even though it is essential to start doing that journey with other believers because God created the journey to operate that way) we ultimatly just follow christ. He's God, other christians arn't. And God likes our individual personalities and doesn't want us to lose those, only our sin.

Church culture can smother you, that unfortunatly is a reality (not all churchs but some) however God never will. And following other christians before christ is ultimatly our fault anyway because following christ costs more.

Anyway hope that helps. Will pray for you and your situation.

 

[Quasicentennial]

The story of Adam and Eve in Genesis is such a simple story to remember. God made the story so simple that it needed to be revisited to think about the huge cause that started the sinful effect of human crisis or suffering through violence, crime and illness. God allowed Satan to take authority over anyone who has faith failure in Jesus Christ. Satan loves the defeated and welcomes them to his kingdom hell of pain and suffering. Christians must be strong in faith with Christ and must have authority over Satan. If Satan can't get us to hate more strongly then he would do the opposite: get us to love more strongly that breaks the law of marriage, family and friend interaction, such as committing adultery. We are at war with Satan and our mission is to teach or guide God's Word to non-Christians. God's wisdom is more valuable than wealth and you become alive and active with the holy spirit. Jesus helped the poor and sick and Christians like Jesus must do the same.

 

[Digit]

I guess would be the best way to say it. I am one of those people in life, who grew up, having no true friends. Only people I knew, but would never called a friend. I am someone who trust people to much, and helps people I always thought where friends to much. Where it got to the point alot of people who knew me, used me. Knowing that I hated to say "no" to someone, if I could help them. I havent been to Church in many years, and feel weird about going back. I have made many stupid decisions in life, with careers, financies(sp), and school. I always have that feeling of being alone...to the point sometimes it gets so bad I have thought about killing myself before. Well hell, its a pretty common thought with me. I have been into cars before and found myself sometimes flying down the highway at over 140 mph hoping something would go wrong. But at the same time I feel I am to much of a coward to do it. It doesnt help that I feel that my life has already passed me by, and that I am doomed, or punished to lead a crappy life. Hell even at 22 I dont feel I have any real friends. No girlfriend, nothing. I have tried praying asking for a sign, but feel that my prayers fall on deaf ears. I feel that karma has pleagued me my whole life. Always wishing I could restart my life knowing what I know today, to change how I treated people and decisions I made.

I have always turned to the Bible at points to find verses that could help me. But always lived by one; Galatians 6:9. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up!" But feel that I am not deserving of it. I have felt sometimes that I do not believe in a god, but at the same time I do. Just dont know, feel like nothing ever goes right in my life!

Wow, 9 years ago I was you almost to a tee. Pretty revealing to read your words and have them hit so close to home.

I doubt anyone goes through life without fantasising they could restart at some stage knowing what they do now. So you really aren't alone.

How do you feel about yourself, do you feel you know who you are, what you are capable of and what your limits area? Do you feel confident? Are there things you appreciate and enjoy?

Just for some background: 9 years ago I was £4500 in debt, I had a terrible job, I had one friend, no girlfriend, wasn't a Christian, had no confidence or accomplishments and was ultimately just sick and tired of life at that stage. I too had contemplated killing myself, but I guess one bonus of being totally without confidence is that I didn't think I could do it right. The moment all this changed, was when I isolated the cause of everything - which was the acceptance that 'this was life'. That's what I was always told if I complained, "You know what, life is unfair, and that's life." which really, aren't such fantastic words of encouragement.

My advice to you, is change your life.

For me, I sent out an e-mail to pretty much every single person I knew, or had every known, worked with, met, was a friend of a friend of a friend, and looked for a new job. I got an offer, which was in Germany. I didn't (and still don't) speak German. So that was quite an adventure, and I believe the start of how things improved to where I am now. Which is happily married to a beautiful Christian woman and debt free.

As soon as you realise you can do whatever it is you set your mind to, and that you learn from mistakes instead of letting them beat you down - then it's an open world to you my friend.

 

[GalSixNine]

Wow, 9 years ago I was you almost to a tee. Pretty revealing to read your words and have them hit so close to home.

I doubt anyone goes through life without fantasising they could restart at some stage knowing what they do now. So you really aren't alone.

How do you feel about yourself, do you feel you know who you are, what you are capable of and what your limits area? Do you feel confident? Are there things you appreciate and enjoy?

Just for some background: 9 years ago I was £4500 in debt, I had a terrible job, I had one friend, no girlfriend, wasn't a Christian, had no confidence or accomplishments and was ultimately just sick and tired of life at that stage. I too had contemplated killing myself, but I guess one bonus of being totally without confidence is that I didn't think I could do it right. The moment all this changed, was when I isolated the cause of everything - which was the acceptance that 'this was life'. That's what I was always told if I complained, "You know what, life is unfair, and that's life." which really, aren't such fantastic words of encouragement.

My advice to you, is change your life.

For me, I sent out an e-mail to pretty much every single person I knew, or had every known, worked with, met, was a friend of a friend of a friend, and looked for a new job. I got an offer, which was in Germany. I didn't (and still don't) speak German. So that was quite an adventure, and I believe the start of how things improved to where I am now. Which is happily married to a beautiful Christian woman and debt free.

As soon as you realise you can do whatever it is you set your mind to, and that you learn from mistakes instead of letting them beat you down - then it's an open world to you my friend.

Wow down to that bold part. I was thinking I was reading about myself from that. I tried the same thing. I to accepted that I was stuck in this life, am to much of a coward to actually go through with killing myself...even though I still think about it often. Still always feel alone. I wanted more than anything to leave everything behind that I know. Wanted to move to a different part of the country where I knew no one and no one knew me. But when I tired for this no matter how close I got, something always found a way to hold me back.

I am still trying to change things in my life, but nothing seems to work. Seems that since I originally made this post, I had taken a few steps forward, but feel that I have somehow just been walking in circles. I feel that at times things are getting better than next thing I know...I realize nothing has change no matter what I do.

I always keep saying next week will be better...but never is, with nothing new, and everything being the same. Makes it even more depressing.

 

[Digit]

Wow down to that bold part. I was thinking I was reading about myself from that. I tried the same thing. I to accepted that I was stuck in this life, am to much of a coward to actually go through with killing myself...even though I still think about it often. Still always feel alone. I wanted more than anything to leave everything behind that I know. Wanted to move to a different part of the country where I knew no one and no one knew me. But when I tired for this no matter how close I got, something always found a way to hold me back.

I am still trying to change things in my life, but nothing seems to work. Seems that since I originally made this post, I had taken a few steps forward, but feel that I have somehow just been walking in circles. I feel that at times things are getting better than next thing I know...I realize nothing has change no matter what I do.

I always keep saying next week will be better...but never is, with nothing new, and everything being the same. Makes it even more depressing.

Heya, sorry to hear things are still bleak for you.

Sometimes I used to find myself enjoying the down moments a little like that Garbage song, I'm only happy when it rains.

We can talk about all these things lots, but really nothing will change until you start doing. The truth of the matter is that only God can change you and if you aren't keen on that idea then that leaves just you. I tried doing it my way for ages, and even though I wasn't a Christian when I moved to Germany and got out of my ditch, I now fully attribute to that to God because at the time a sudden feeling of unrest came over me, and I was really infused with a great deal of energy and motivation - I wanted out and I believe looking back, that God gave that to me.

You've heard our thoughts on things, so if asked, what would be the top 3 things in your current situation that you would like to change and what is your plan for accomplishing that. You don't need to post them here, it's more a question for consideration on your part. It's my belief that all you need is one success, and that will fling open the doors to some self confidence and ability and it's my advice that you ask God to deliver that success to you, and keep yours eye open.

 

[Johnnz]

Do you have any supportive people around you?

John
NZ