Keeping the rooms clean

[HeKnowsMyName]

How do you get your kids to keep their rooms clean? DD is 9. I make her clean up her room weekly - I do go behind her and do things that she overlooks. The very next day it will be strewn all over the place. I dread going in there. It drives me nuts. I haven't come up with anything that will make her keep it halfway decently clean.

 

[BeanMak]

I closed the door and didn't look at it.

 

[CarrieAg93]

I closed the door and didn't look at it.

That's my strategy.

 

[GolfingMom]

Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel suggests asking for said child to clean the room and what's left (on the floor or not cleaned up) becomes yours and said child needs to 'buy' it back from you
It might be worth a try...

 

[immersedingrace]

Not a parent and I don't have any advice, but I do recall this from my mom and thinking:

Why should I clean my room when no matter what I do my mom will go behind me and fix everything I didn't do to her satisfaction? Why should I even bother when no matter how I do it, it won't be good enough for her?

Just some thoughts to think about.

 

[GolfingMom]

Not a parent and I don't have any advice, but I do recall this from my mom and thinking:

Why should I clean my room when no matter what I do my mom will go behind me and fix everything I didn't do to her satisfaction? Why should I even bother when no matter how I do it, it won't be good enough for her?

Just some thoughts to think about.

Good point. When the kiddo's make their beds (they are 5 and 7 now) and it looks horrible to my standards...I leave it. They put in the effort to make their own beds They also fold their clothes that was left on the floor and that makes me cringe but I leave it Same thing goes with setting the table - they can get quite creative

 

[immersedingrace]

Good point. When the kiddo's make their beds (they are 5 and 7 now) and it looks horrible to my standards...I leave it. They put in the effort to make their own beds They also fold their clothes that was left on the floor and that makes me cringe but I leave it Same thing goes with setting the table - they can get quite creative

When I was a nanny, I was like this, leave it...her mom on the other hand always corrected it. That drives me crazy...

When something's important and it's not getting done to your satisfaction, finding an alternate way to do it may help as well...ie, with the child I used to nanny (she's now 14), she had a major problem with putting on pillow cases (don't ask me how that's hard, but for her it was) so when I folded hers, I'd fold them inside out and when she went to put them on, she could kind of unfold it over the pillow...worked well for her...so maybe they're having trouble doing something the "correct" way and need a fresh idea on how to make it to your standards.

 

[Leanna]

Get rid of stuff..... just like the rest of the house, if there's less of it, there's less to make a mess of

 

[Hadassah]

My parents started young, starting with infancy. Once the kid can take toys out of a basket or box and put them back, they have to help return things to their proper place.

Around 2, I was having to make the bed (put the pillow in the right place, and pull the blankets up to that), put away toys and any clothes on teh floor.

The one thing that left the biggest impression was a week that my mom had told all of us (3) to clean our rooms, and we were around 10 and under (youngest being in Kindergarten), and we ignored her and did our own thing, until she kind of snapped and "cleaned" her way.

Her method of cleaning was that anything not put away in its proper place was put in a black trashbag. Some of it we did not see again, and some of it we
did. We never had a cleaning problem again.

I talked with her about how I transfer toys currently from room to room/basket to basket for Jonathan, and she said she did the same when we were crib/blanket babies and beginning to toddle. I don't remember that since it was 20+ years ago... it just has become second nature.

We are now working on putting things away when we are done, together. I think had mom done that from time to time (if not anything else but to oversee and talk with us) making the bed, folding clothes and other cleaning projects, we would have had a lot less strife about cleaning up in the tween years.

 

[JohnDeereFan]

I like the suggestion about keeping things found on the floor and making the child earn them back.

We do expect the children to keep their rooms up, but every Saturday morning, we clean the house thoroughly, from top to bottom. Some people think that's a little excessive, but it's a habit I learned from my step-mother when I was growing up.

Fortunately, because the work is divided among seven of us (our youngest is only seven months old, so she can't clean yet), it goes pretty quickly.

The only "trick" we really have is to let the children inspect each others' rooms. We've found that by inspiring a little healthy competition among them, they have a little more motivation than just doing it because Mom and Dad said so.

A lot of praise for a good job also helps. Praise for a good job goes a lot further with a child than criticism for a bad job.

 

[Catherineanne]

How do you get your kids to keep their rooms clean? DD is 9. I make her clean up her room weekly - I do go behind her and do things that she overlooks. The very next day it will be strewn all over the place. I dread going in there. It drives me nuts. I haven't come up with anything that will make her keep it halfway decently clean.

My d is 16, and I really don't stress about her room at all. If it gets so bad I really can't bear it, then I will go in and sort it out; pick up washing, hoover the floor, dust; whatever, but generally I find a closed door is the best solution.

In my view a child's room is their part of the house, and if they want it to be comfortable, rather than pristine, then that is their choice. Too much setting our own standards for that room may well result in them feeling out of control and disempowered, which is not a good thing for any child.

So, give advice about what you would prefer, but realise that this is her space, not yours. And think how you would feel if your mum came into your home and started following you around, doing your housework 'properly' after you.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

My Mom did go into my room and throw things away if I didn't clean up properly. I'm not talking dirty, I'm talking papers scattered and the floor strowed. You can't walk in there (at times) without stepping on something. I pretty much overlook it until the end of the week and then I tell her she has to clean it. After she is done, I still have tons of stuff to pick up and sort through. I just wondered if there is some sort of better system to be had.

 

[Catherineanne]

I just wondered if there is some sort of better system to be had.

Well, you could try playing chicken. At the moment she is lasting much longer than you, so she wins, and you tidy up.

 

[Leanna]

Teach her habits that won't allow it to get like that, a time for deciding what papers to put in a folder and which to throw out every night, for example.

 

[Linnis]

The toys have to be picked up before lunch and before bath everyday. DS isn't 3 until October but he picks up his own toys, makes his own bed, helps put his clothes away. It isn't perfect but I hope as he gets older it'll get better.

I agree with Leanna less stuff would be easier I just wish I could convince DH that it would be okay to get rid of some of his toys. He has way more toys than he needs which is funny since we hardly buy toys...Christmas and birthday gifts mostly.

 

[GolfingMom]

The toys have to be picked up before lunch and before bath everyday. DS isn't 3 until October but he picks up his own toys, makes his own bed, helps put his clothes away. It isn't perfect but I hope as he gets older it'll get better.

I agree with Leanna less stuff would be easier I just wish I could convince DH that it would be okay to get rid of some of his toys. He has way more toys than he needs which is funny since we hardly buy toys...Christmas and birthday gifts mostly.

Agree

As for toys - we don't purchase toys either but everyone gives them for Christmas/bdays. I just did a MAJOR toy cleanse and the kiddo's have been left with very little (they were also getting sloppy with clean up etc) and I'm thrilled with that

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

We hardly buy toys either. At Christmas I generally put a few gifts that were given up and bring them out later in the year.

 

[Stan53]

Supervise.
Works every time and the child learns to keep the room to a given standard.
Oh, and if junk is left on the floor, throw it in the rubbish. They obviously don't need it.

 

[twob4me]

How do you get your kids to keep their rooms clean? DD is 9. I make her clean up her room weekly - I do go behind her and do things that she overlooks. The very next day it will be strewn all over the place. I dread going in there. It drives me nuts. I haven't come up with anything that will make her keep it halfway decently clean.

Our daughter will be 12 next month and I'm having the same problems. I had taken all her toys...anything she could play with, and put it in boxes and she didn't have it for at least a month. I did that for two reasons. One so she could concentrate on her school work as it was getting towards the end of the school year.

And two, because she wasn't picking her room up. I got tired of stepping on her toys when I would go into her room. Now that she has her things back I've told her that if anything is left out at night and not where it's supposed to be it's going to be thrown away. Still struggling with it though.

 

[lucypevensie]

Lots of good ideas here. I just thought of another one that helps us a bit. Instead of telling them to go clean their room (kind of a daunting task) I'll challenge them to just clean ONE part of their room. For example, clear everything off the bed and make it up really nice and decorate it with pillows and a few toys. Bed done. Take a break. Later, pick up all clothes off the floor and either throw in laundry or fold and put away. Floor clean. Next day: clear off top of dresser... etc... It might take my kids a week to get their room clean, given the number of breaks I let them take, but it might be easier to bite off small chunks than to throw the whole mess at them all at once.