keeping Romance alive..

[ka393]

Hi all, Iam in a distance relationship with this great guy. I love him with all my heart and everything about him is more than I can ask for. He was here about two weeks ago and I had the best time of my life.I do miss him alot and that sometimes makes me sad thinking about him and I start needing him here with me..who wouldnt want that when their love is far away? But thats not what worrying me..because I know this distance thing is only for sometime and things will get better in time..and this is the only way we can have each other until we finish with school. Iam more concerned about our "craziness" toward each other. We used to talk for hours about how much we are so inlove with each other and flirt alot. Seriously right now that it died a bit..that thing we used to have, it feels like we've been married for years and only once in a while that happens and thats if it does. I do miss hearing him saying those things to me..and I miss saying and be able to have the right time to say things to him. With school started now and work, those were factors of not giving us the ability like before..not only giving us time..but he gets tired from work so we talk for few on weekdays and with school both of us need time to study. Its not like we dont talk at all..we talk everyday. I just miss that..that part of our relationship and its hard to decide to do something about it..like lets say if he was here..we can make plans to go on a romantic date or something and be able to talk about that kind of stuff for the whole night, but he isnt here and we cant go on dates...what can I do? I talked to him about it 2 days ago..and he feels the same way about it. He wants the same thing..but past two nights things happened where we were talking about other stuff and he had to hang out with his friend.

I would like to know what I can do to set a "mood" or something to give him hints about how tonight it should be only about us talking sweet and flirt and such..and actually have that again.


Thanks.

 

[FOG]

i sort of know what you mean. i'm in a similar situation - separated by distance because of college.

This is what i've noticed at least for me, it may be different for you.
1. it helps if both of you are in a private area. dorm rooms aren't good for the "romantic" talk because they have their roommate listening in.
2. don't be afraid to be the one to start it. saying something romantic is good, even if it's just totally out of the blue. even if it's cheesy, go ahead and say it!! if you wait for him to start it, what if he's waiting for you to start it? just go with it.
3. talk about the future - short term or long term, it's always fun. talk about the next time you get to see each other, or even talk about the far future when the distance is over and you are nearby on a permanent basis.
4. gifts, virtual or real. it makes my day whenever my girl sends me a romantic bumper sticker on facebook.
5. sometimes you will grow closer to each other with other types of conversations. talking about really deep stuff related to God and hopes and dreams and stuff is a great way to get truly close to each other, and sometimes it can make it easier to feel romantic towards each other, as the bonds of trust are built up.

as long as you keep talking every day, that's good. when things are really busy, you may not have as many romantic conversations as you used to during the summer or whatever, but just keep chugging along!

 

[K9_Trainer]

Well, it's expected for that "honeymoon period" to wear off like that. That's normal. This is where your going to find out if the relationship will work in the long run.....The infatuation is gone, now it's time to see how well you can keep communication open without it. You have to start working at it and putting in some effort.

If you want a flirty, fun conversation, then start one...Before you call, think about some times in the past where he made you laugh or made your heart melt with a sweet comment, think about all the reasons you love him, the reasons he makes you smile. Get yourself in the mood first, and when the convo starts, initiate it yourself. No need to hint him into starting it. If you're in such a good flirty mood when you call him and turn on the charm, then he's likely to respond and keep it up.

Start being more verbal about what you love about him too, compliment him. Example....My SO is a writer and sometimes when we're on MSN (or even on the phone!), he gets really articulate and poetic without even knowing it and I adore that about him, so I tell him how much I love that side of him.

Introduce him to the question game....This is amazingly simple, but my gosh it lets you get to know each other so much and can create the longest conversations! Just take turns asking each other questions. We've done this and sometimes we don't even get past the first question. And it's fun too, the questions can be silly and random or serious. Best of all, you get to know each other even more.