Just started becoming Bulimic

[HolyOne87]

During a lot of my depression (which I am still going through), I started to vomit a whole lot. I would eat to deceive others, to show that I am okay and I am eating, then when no one was around, I would force myself to purge. This is becoming a slight addiction. I've been doing this along with cutting myself. I am not forcing myself to vomit to become skinnier or something. I am doing it so I will just deplete and die (wither away). I am already small. So obviously I don't have a lot to play around with to lose in me.
Things are just so hard to deal with..that I figured I'd find the quickest means to get rid of myself.
Is there any way I can help myself stop this before it destroys myself?

any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thank You in Advance

 

[jesusxchick]

No one is worth doing this to yourself. No one at all. It's your life and your health, which is very valuable.

There are several things you can do when you become triggered:

1. Try developing some healthy coping skills like writing what you're feeling on a paper and ripping it up.

2. You could keep a journal and when you're feeling triggered by something write what you're feeling at that moment. Keep a journal of all these events. Right down the time and date when it happens.

3. Focus your attention on something else. It could be anything at all; a sport, a hobby, a book, television, anything at all.

4. If you know anyone who is going through these same problems you could try encouraging each other. Sort of like a one on one deal. If you happen to have feelings that you're going to purge try to get ahold of them and if you can't them leave them a message, they can do the same for you. Talk to each other about why you had these feelings and work through it together.

There's many things you can do, these are just a few of them. I hope they can help you.

God Bless

 

[oneandlonely]

s Is there anyone in your life you can talk to about this? try get help soon. Before this gets any worse.

I don't know what else to say, but I'm praying for you.

 

[Quiddler]

I agree with Bethany. ^ Get some help. ASAP. Bulimia is nothing to play around with, nor is anorexia or any other ED. They tend to not be things that you can beat on your own. A school/uni counselor, a trusted adult friend, a parent (if you're on good relations with them), a pastor - these all would be good people to tell, and they can get you connected with the proper people to really help you. What "things" are so hard that you resorted trying to kill yourself in this manner?

Fight it the best you can. You need professional help to get rid of an ED, but seek out God. Ask Him for strength to resist the urges to purge. When you feel like purging, distract yourself. Make a list of things that you find helpful, and do them sequentially. Some stuff that's helped me stay out of my mind are listening to (healthy) music, like praise & worship or hard rock, writing letters to friends, coming here on CF and chatting with anyone about anything, or posting here at the ED board, going for a walk, calling up a friend on teh phone to talk about whatever, doing anything creative, like card-making, drawing, poetry, or painting my nails. I don't know what will work for you, but maybe that'll give you a start. Journalling can help too, to get the "yuckies" out.

But please, please get help, before this completely takes over your life. I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk with - my inbox is always open, and I usually check in here a few times a day. Hang in there, remember that life really is worth living, and get yourself some good help. God's with you and He'll help you along if you let Him.

 

[Taliaana]

I have been struggling with bulimia since I was 15, and it started for the same reasons. I was also a cutter until recently. I am slowly putting myself together with prayer and professional help. If you ever want to talk, send me a message. This is not something to try and deal with on your own. That was my mistake for the first 4 years of my illness.

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Holy, I agree with what everyone else has said. The best thing you can do is find someone you trust to talk to about this - even better would be a counselor, therapist or priest.

Hun, depression, SI and an ED are not things you're meant to handle alone

.

How are things going at the moment?

 

[HolyOne87]

things are just a wreck at the moment. I've been trying to change that, but i am not sure it will change. I've been okay the past 2 days, but who knows how I'll be later.

 

[Soulwings]

Things won't be a wreck forever. I don't know the details, but I do know that for certain. And I also know that you've got the best sort of help right beside you - God. Clinging to Him may not cure you, but it'll make everything so much easier to bear.

I do agree with everyone else though - you need to get help. You can't face an ED alone. You need support, which you'll get here and hopefully some in real life, and you need treatment, which we can't really help you with here other than just suggesting where you go to get that help.

I'm here if you ever need to talk.

 

[Taylor43]

((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))) please do seek help hun before it does get worse. We are here for you always.

 

[Daysoni]

HolyOne87....My heart is hurting for you. In your post you said that this would be the quickest way. I was raised and tought in grade school the importance to my mother of being thin. She started me on all the diet gimicks in grade school. By the end of my 7th grade year I was full blown bulimic never binged but purged every thing I could. I was full blown anorexic and also a cutter. I am now 36 and from experience it is not a fast way. I have so many health problems. And have to deal with the mental and physical pain daily. As do those that are close they have seen the battle and the tole that it has taken on my body mind and soul. I will pray that you will find a release in this that you will be able to open up and trust someone with this. Eating Disorders and Self Harm are not something to play with. Try to beat it while it is new and in the begining. I to thought it would be a quick way out. And it's any thing but.

BLESSINGS LOVE AND PRAYERS
Daysoni

 

[HolyOne87]

Right now, I am seeking professional help from a psychiatrist at my school who specializes in these sort of things. I am hoping that will help me some. I really don't want to be this way.

 

[kathleenmary]

Right now, I am seeking professional help from a psychiatrist at my school who specializes in these sort of things. I am hoping that will help me some. I really don't want to be this way.

thats great!!

 

[PureGrace]

eating disorders are nothing to play around with...i am in recovery from one, and one of my best friends who has one is currently in the hospital.

I would strongly suggest seeing a therapist (which does not make you weak, it makes you smart. I was in therapy for 2 years.

It's great that you are able to see that this isnt a good behavior. Congratulations on a great first step. Keep us updated.

 

[beckybooiloveu]

*hugs*

 

[HolyOne87]

thanks all for your support! things are slowly turning around!
Thank you all for being there..i appreciate it!

*hugs to you all*

 

[closky]

Make yourself busy, very busy. I think is the best solution of your problem. Best of luck.