Just some thoughts!

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

I have just finished reading some of the "Definitions? Confused with Boundaries" thread. Maybe if I'd read the entire thing, what I am about to ask about would be clearer. Or maybe not.

I noticed several times it being brought up that love is about giving, and lust is about getting. However I wonder about this...

I know that there are definitely certain boundaries that should be abided by in a dating relationship...like fuzion said, no hands in the chest area or below waist. Heavy kissing and hugging/cuddling isn't a good idea either. And my boyfriend and I have struggled at times with these things.

HOWEVER, more times than not, if I was kissing him or even simply holding his hand, I'm thinking, I'm showing him how much I love him by doing this. And after he has hugged me before or kissed me, many times I have thought, wow, I feel so loved!

Yes, God gave us brains and the ability to reason what is too much. And I know that my boyfriend need to work on it, believe me. I guess what I wanted to say is that we don't need to look at the ones asking these questions about boundaries/sex as it being all about them and lust. Sometimes I do that myself, but I understand too that you may feel like expressing love to your SO in a physical way...how we were designed, but to mostly be put into "practice" in marriage. And yes, of course, we should be respecting that other person too! But you guys must know what I'm saying...

So, well, I'm gettin off my soapbox now!

~Lynz

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

Yes, I get what you're saying; and I feel the same way. It can be very hard sometimes... and we all struggle.

 

[f U z ! o N]

i know our boundaries between me and my girlfriend. no hands near the chest or below the belt. no heavy kissing as in no making out and no trying to push the boundaries. i am perfectly content with this and i will not push them. sure we may try to show love as married couples would but we all are not married yet. we all have to remain pure and guard our hearts till our big day! It may be hard i know when you really do love someone and want to show them but God loves us even more and we need to respect that. the easiest way to be safe is think of it like this. Jesus is watching everything we do. would you want him to see you doing things you know and He knows are meant for marriage? think about it like that and it shouldn't be a problem anymore. self control is another key factor in maintaining a pure relationship. fighting the emotions is hard but can be done. men need to fight the urges we have and women need to fight theres. when your married well no need to fight them anymore . haha. just remain pure it will be so worth it one day when we all walk down the aisle to the one we love!

 

[Amy47]

I also understand what you're saying. My bf and I struggle with this aswell. Everytime we're together we REALLY have to watch ourselves, cuz It doesn't take much to get the horomones pumping.
Um Just out of curiousity are you and your bf planning on getting married any time soon? Or what's the dealio.

 

[Leanna]

It is difficult to be pure, if that's what you're saying.... ?

 

[Ruukah]

I think I get it. Things that may be inappropriate for non-married couples aren't necessarily lustful. Is that what you're saying? If so then I agree. And here's an example--If my fiance and I were to have sex tonight, it would be no less an expression of true love as it would be on our wedding night. BUT since we are not yet married, it would still be wrong. Not lustful though.

 

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

I think I get it. Things that may be inappropriate for non-married couples aren't necessarily lustful. Is that what you're saying? If so then I agree. And here's an example--If my fiance and I were to have sex tonight, it would be no less an expression of true love as it would be on our wedding night. BUT since we are not yet married, it would still be wrong. Not lustful though.

Yes, that is pretty much what I'm saying! Good job

 

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

I also understand what you're saying. My bf and I struggle with this aswell. Everytime we're together we REALLY have to watch ourselves, cuz It doesn't take much to get the horomones pumping.
Um Just out of curiousity are you and your bf planning on getting married any time soon? Or what's the dealio.

Thanks for your understanding. Everyone else's too .

About my boyfriend and I getting married soon...I don't think so. We each have a lot of growing and learning left to do separately, plus college to finish. We're both still at community college- he'll graduate spring, I will summer, then on to university for awhile longer. Sometimes it seems like it'll take sooo long! Four months ago, too, he wasn't completely certain if I was the one (by God) to be his "forever helpmeet." I'm fairly certain about him. But it's necessary to remember how God's plan can change too.