Just needed to say some things some where. So here is where I ended up this morning.

lockman · Dec 15, 2011

First of all I consider myself a non denominational Christian. I have always tried to have faith in the best and worst times, and have taught my children as well as I could. But to say my faith has been tested recently would be an understatement, I am starting to have more doubt than I can cope with. I will give a quick overview of my life over the last 8 years and why I have been starting to lose faith.

About 8 years ago, my wife and I who have 3 children between us decided to have another baby, and we lost our daughter, it was something I would never wish upon anyone, but, we made it through it, and it got better with time. 4 years ago we had another daughter. I for some reason remember everything being good then, but right now it feels like things never really were, I do not know why. We were happy and things were going along pretty well I think. My family was happy so I was happy. One year ago I lost my job and have not been able to find another, I decided to go back to school to raise my chances of getting another job, 2 months ago all of a sudden I could not walk one morning, my knee was swollen twice it's normal size. I went to the hospital and they said I have a torn meniscus and maybe more damage. They sent me to a specialist who said I would be going to surgery as soon as they could get me in. Three days before I was supposed to go see my doctor again to get everything ready for surgery and rehab and everything else, my wife got laid off from work. No more insurance. Now I have to sit 90% of the day hurting wondering when I might be able to have insurance to be able to get fixed. I am looking into governmental help but it takes a while, oh well big surprise. My father who is actually quite young just got admitted to the hospital with a whole score of issues and had to be put right on life support. My mother is having a nervous breakdown over it.

Rent is getting behind, landlord is getting upset, wife is getting extremely depressed, our kids know things are not right, even my 4 year old knows something is wrong, then to top it all off Christmas is almost here and we have absolutely nothing, and that alone has pushed my wife even farther into her own depression. The whole house is depressed and upset and I am wondering if we are going to be booted soon. This is not how it is supposed to be, we have always done everything we could to do the right things, to help when we could, to just be happy.

I know others have it worse than me, but I can not help but wonder what I did wrong for all of this to happen to my family? I can not sleep anymore, partly because of physical pain, mostly due to emotional pain. I keep feeling like I can not do Christmas like this and I am dreading it getting here, it is more on my mind than anything right now, it is coming so fast it almost feels like days are minutes and I can not make it slow down. I just want to escape it somehow and it seems like there is no way. This is not how it is supposed to be, that is all I really know. I just do not know how I am going to be able to handle it, I really don't.

We have always known and treated Christmas as a celebration of Christ, but the thought of waking up that day with nothing for my kids is looming over me in a way that I honestly feel I can not do it, and have been thinking of how I could possibly run away from it somehow. I sit here and I keep wondering why is this happening to us? What could we have done wrong to deserve this? We HAD to do something wrong or why would God allow this to happen to my family and me?? It does not make any sense at all, I can not get it to make sense to me no matter how I try. In the back of my mind I am starting to wonder if God is there, I mean, why do we deserve this? We don't. And if we don't deserve this why is it happening to us? I can not stand the depression this is all putting my wife in to, she is the greatest woman in the world and an amazing wife and even more amazing mother, our kids are amazing kids who try in school and try to do the right thing. Where did we go wrong? This is not how it is supposed to be, this can not be God's plan for us, unless there is no plan? I do not know anymore. I just know I can not keep watching my family go through this. And I know prayer has not helped us, my wife and I have prayed and prayed, and she still goes to bed crying and I am still in pain, physical and emotional.

I hope and pray, that no one has to go through what we are going through. This is not how it is supposed to be, and the one big question I am finding myself asking myself all night long as I can not sleep right anymore is, if God is there, why is this happening to us????

Rock Ministries · Dec 15, 2011

I have been in a similar situation with that same question and others. There is no easy answer. Simple yes, easy, no. You are going through trials that are testing every fiber of your faith, and that's a very hard process to deal with. I can't say how long this trial will be for you, but I can tell you that you will make it through as long as you hold on and trust even when you have no reason to. The Lord is with you even though you fell abandoned. I found that with every attack on my mind and heart that somehow God had given me strength for that day, of course I didn't always realize it until some time later, but He did. I know how hard it is, but hold on, take authority over your thoughts and your situation in Jesus name, and know that God is with you! You will get through, I did. Nothing is impossible for those that believe. You are not alone in this fight. My heart is with you, and know that I am praying fervently for you and your family. You will have peace that passes all understanding, and you will get though! Remember the Holy Spirit guides you with peace in your heart.

miamited · Dec 15, 2011

hi lockman,

Yes, I can see your struggles are back-breaking. I know that it hurts for anyone to feel unable to take care of their family.

However, if you are a born again believer you know that that doesn't change one iota who God is. It has absolutely no bearing on what God desires of you. It doesn't change any of God's promises. It doesn't change who He is. If you aren't working then you have ample time to be in prayer with Him. Lay it all out before Him. The gospel of health and wealth that so many offer as proof that God loves someone doesn't come from the Scriptures. What does come from the Scriptures is this: In all things give thanks. Be joyful always. With much prayer and petition carry your concerns to Him.

No, it probably won't miraculously change overnight. I don't know the measure of your faith and neither does anyone else, even your spouse. Only you know what is really in your heart. You, right now, are exactly where Job sat. He had lost absolutely everything of earthly value except for his wife and yet He cried out:

Though he slay me, yet will I hopehttp://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-23 in him;http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-24 I will surelyhttp://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#fn-descriptionAnchor-a defend my ways to his face.http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-25 Indeed, this will turn out for my deliverance,http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-26 for no godlesshttp://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-27 man would dare come before him!http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-28 Listen carefully to my words;http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-29 let your ears take in what I say. Now that I have prepared my case,http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-30 I know I will be vindicated.http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-31 Can anyone bring charges against me?http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-32 If so, I will be silenthttp://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-33 and die.http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-34 "Only grant me these two things, O God, and then I will not hide from you: Withdraw your handhttp://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-35 far from me, and stop frightening me with your terrors.http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-36 Then summon me and I will answer,http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-37 or let me speak, and you reply.http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-38 How many wrongs and sins have I committed?http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-39 Show me my offense and my sin.http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-40 Why do you hide your facehttp://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-41 and consider me your enemy?http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-42 Will you tormenthttp://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-43 a windblown leaf ?http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-44 Will you chasehttp://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-45 after dry chaff ?http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-46 For you write down bitter things against me and make me inherit the sins of my youth.http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-47 You fasten my feet in shackles;http://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-48 you keep close watch on all my pathshttp://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-49 by putting marks on the soles of my feet. "So man wastes away like something rotten, like a garmenthttp://www.biblestudytools.com/job/13.html#cr-descriptionAnchor-50 eaten by moths."

Job had no fear of going to the Lord with his concerns and even asked of God to withdraw His terrors from his life. Yes, you are right now in a very, very hard place, but let not your heart faint with terror, but give glory to your God. Sing His praises even in the midst of your destruction. Otherwise you find yourself in Peter's position. Where else can you go? Only He has the words of eternal life.

God bless you and may He extend His mercy and provision of good things in your life.
In Christ, Ted

tturt · Dec 15, 2011

lockman praying for you and your family. The above posts contain a lot of good information. Also, have you confided in your pastor or a local church who can offer you some support?

tackattack · Dec 15, 2011

With all the compassion of my heart I grieve for you brother.

Jimmy needham rend - YouTube

This might seem harsh or hard to swallow, but it's with all love. Sometimes when I'm at my most doubtful and broken, it's God telling me I can either set aside the things keeping me from His path for my life or I can turn fully away from Him and go on my own way.

Shiloh1-49-10 · Dec 15, 2011

Hi Lockman;

I've just read your account above and asked the Lord to give me something that might encourage your heart in Him. Here is what I have.

When you get a moment read the 30th chapter of I Samuel. David returns home to Ziklag in this chapter to find everything gone...his wives, his children, his possessions, even his loyal followers turn against him...everything he valued in life was gone...except for the one thing no one could take from him...his trust in the Lord. We read that "David was greatly distressed"...and who would not be, naturally, given the circumstances? but verse 6 is a most encouraging verse, "but David encouraged himself in the Lord".

And how might he do that? Surely he allowed his heart to remember times past when time after time he was delivered from Saul's direct attempts to slay him; he fled to the dens and caves in the wilderness, alone...until the Lord directed 600 fellow sufferers to join him; he was destitute, yet the Lord saw to it that he had abundance for his followers (he marries Abigail, the widow of that "churlish and evil" man, Nabal, whose "three thousand sheep, and a thousand goats" become his through matrimony); and the examples go on and on. The Lord had never failed him before and David knew he was not going to now either, blithe as circumstances looked. He would trust his God for deliverence. He knew the secret of which Isaiah speaks in 26:3, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: for he trusteth in Thee". By the end of the chapter David secures all and more bringing back gifts that he will send to each tribe in Israel. The Lord can do more than we can ask or think.

Now, what did David do to have this terrible calamity come down on him? In the words of another, did he say, "I can not help but wonder what I did wrong for all this to happen to my family"? Absolutely nothing (not at this point; later he will make mistakes that will bring discipline from his Maker, but not here). The milk has to undergo churning before the cream comes to the top. The silver must undergo the fire before the Smith's face becomes reflected in its surface. And David becomes to the Lord "a man after Mine own heart" because He could put him through the refining and his trust in Him was such that He could display His power and glory through his faith and trust.

It's always darkest at the end of the night, just before the dawn. Keep faith, dear brother. Bring your wife and children into the knowledge that the Lord knows all about your circumstances, and He has allowed this for your blessing. Philippians is a book that reflects "normal Christianity" and it is there we find this verse: "Be careful for nothing [don't be anxious, better rendering]; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God", v. 6. I know you said you have prayed...now believe that your prayer is already answered...and pray with thanksgiving. But do not make the mistake of having "the answer" to your prayer in mind, for His ways are not our ways, neither His thoughts, our thoughts. The blessing seldom comes by way of the path we suppose...but it does come...if we trust and wait for it. "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee". Belief it. Receive it. Be blessed in his peace.

washedagain · Dec 15, 2011

lockman said:
First of all I consider myself a non denominational Christian. I have always tried to have faith in the best and worst times, and have taught my children as well as I could. But to say my faith has been tested recently would be an understatement, I am starting to have more doubt than I can cope with. I will give a quick overview of my life over the last 8 years and why I have been starting to lose faith.

About 8 years ago, my wife and I who have 3 children between us decided to have another baby, and we lost our daughter, it was something I would never wish upon anyone, but, we made it through it, and it got better with time. 4 years ago we had another daughter. I for some reason remember everything being good then, but right now it feels like things never really were, I do not know why. We were happy and things were going along pretty well I think. My family was happy so I was happy. One year ago I lost my job and have not been able to find another, I decided to go back to school to raise my chances of getting another job, 2 months ago all of a sudden I could not walk one morning, my knee was swollen twice it's normal size. I went to the hospital and they said I have a torn meniscus and maybe more damage. They sent me to a specialist who said I would be going to surgery as soon as they could get me in. Three days before I was supposed to go see my doctor again to get everything ready for surgery and rehab and everything else, my wife got laid off from work. No more insurance. Now I have to sit 90% of the day hurting wondering when I might be able to have insurance to be able to get fixed. I am looking into governmental help but it takes a while, oh well big surprise. My father who is actually quite young just got admitted to the hospital with a whole score of issues and had to be put right on life support. My mother is having a nervous breakdown over it.

Rent is getting behind, landlord is getting upset, wife is getting extremely depressed, our kids know things are not right, even my 4 year old knows something is wrong, then to top it all off Christmas is almost here and we have absolutely nothing, and that alone has pushed my wife even farther into her own depression. The whole house is depressed and upset and I am wondering if we are going to be booted soon. This is not how it is supposed to be, we have always done everything we could to do the right things, to help when we could, to just be happy.

I know others have it worse than me, but I can not help but wonder what I did wrong for all of this to happen to my family? I can not sleep anymore, partly because of physical pain, mostly due to emotional pain. I keep feeling like I can not do Christmas like this and I am dreading it getting here, it is more on my mind than anything right now, it is coming so fast it almost feels like days are minutes and I can not make it slow down. I just want to escape it somehow and it seems like there is no way. This is not how it is supposed to be, that is all I really know. I just do not know how I am going to be able to handle it, I really don't.

We have always known and treated Christmas as a celebration of Christ, but the thought of waking up that day with nothing for my kids is looming over me in a way that I honestly feel I can not do it, and have been thinking of how I could possibly run away from it somehow. I sit here and I keep wondering why is this happening to us? What could we have done wrong to deserve this? We HAD to do something wrong or why would God allow this to happen to my family and me?? It does not make any sense at all, I can not get it to make sense to me no matter how I try. In the back of my mind I am starting to wonder if God is there, I mean, why do we deserve this? We don't. And if we don't deserve this why is it happening to us? I can not stand the depression this is all putting my wife in to, she is the greatest woman in the world and an amazing wife and even more amazing mother, our kids are amazing kids who try in school and try to do the right thing. Where did we go wrong? This is not how it is supposed to be, this can not be God's plan for us, unless there is no plan? I do not know anymore. I just know I can not keep watching my family go through this. And I know prayer has not helped us, my wife and I have prayed and prayed, and she still goes to bed crying and I am still in pain, physical and emotional.

I hope and pray, that no one has to go through what we are going through. This is not how it is supposed to be, and the one big question I am finding myself asking myself all night long as I can not sleep right anymore is, if God is there, why is this happening to us????

My family was so where you are in 08. I was in Real Estate then, the market tanked.... could not give a house away then... can't now either (thank God I got out of that racket) at the same time, my husband lost His job (by telling someone, "Jesus loves them" no kidding!) My oldest was spiralling out of control, we too lost a child prior. It was bleak. Our savings was being sucked out of the account faster than I could count it and Christmas was an awful time.

Hang in there.... 3 years later... we are stable now... not where we were, but stable. I look at that time and see how God was testing me... urging me to depend on Him... AND I did...... I pressed into Him, He was my only lifebuoy.... In His time, he rescued me from the pit.

Hang in there and depend on God to see you though.... Remember, He gives and takes away, But you must choose to say, Blessed be His name.

Praise Him and be very specific of your needs... He likes hearing from you.

lockman · Dec 16, 2011

I truly appreciate your responses and am taking it all to heart as well as I can. I do not know why but it seems to me my faith is directly related to hope, and I am quickly losing hope that things are going to get better any time soon. I am reading your responses, and hoping, and praying, and doing all I can to have faith. But each day seems to be just another day of suffering. And Christmas will be the worst I fear.

Thank you all, your responses help.

Rock Ministries · Dec 16, 2011

Your faith is increased with the Word of God. Stay in the Word! It is vital for you right now. This Christmas you may have nothing on the outside that the world tells you that you should, but on the inside, where it really matters, you have Jesus. This is what Christmas is about, not the things. Jesus came to be born,so that He could die for you and your family. Give your family the greatest Christmas ever, by relating the real Christmas story with them. You are in a difficult time right now, but you can turn it around from the inside out. Be strong and have courage, allow the Holy Spirit to minister to your heart. As your faith is restored and strengthened, minister to your family with the love of Christ. This trial will pass, God is with you, and even though it may not seem like it, God is working a miracle in your life. I hope this helps, I remember how hard it is to hold on at times, but at times like this, you have to. Be blessed and rebuke the fear from your heart in Jesus name.

InSpiritInTruth · Dec 16, 2011

lockman said:
First of all I consider myself a non denominational Christian. I have always tried to have faith in the best and worst times, and have taught my children as well as I could. But to say my faith has been tested recently would be an understatement, I am starting to have more doubt than I can cope with. I will give a quick overview of my life over the last 8 years and why I have been starting to lose faith.

About 8 years ago, my wife and I who have 3 children between us decided to have another baby, and we lost our daughter, it was something I would never wish upon anyone, but, we made it through it, and it got better with time. 4 years ago we had another daughter. I for some reason remember everything being good then, but right now it feels like things never really were, I do not know why. We were happy and things were going along pretty well I think. My family was happy so I was happy. One year ago I lost my job and have not been able to find another, I decided to go back to school to raise my chances of getting another job, 2 months ago all of a sudden I could not walk one morning, my knee was swollen twice it's normal size. I went to the hospital and they said I have a torn meniscus and maybe more damage. They sent me to a specialist who said I would be going to surgery as soon as they could get me in. Three days before I was supposed to go see my doctor again to get everything ready for surgery and rehab and everything else, my wife got laid off from work. No more insurance. Now I have to sit 90% of the day hurting wondering when I might be able to have insurance to be able to get fixed. I am looking into governmental help but it takes a while, oh well big surprise. My father who is actually quite young just got admitted to the hospital with a whole score of issues and had to be put right on life support. My mother is having a nervous breakdown over it.

Rent is getting behind, landlord is getting upset, wife is getting extremely depressed, our kids know things are not right, even my 4 year old knows something is wrong, then to top it all off Christmas is almost here and we have absolutely nothing, and that alone has pushed my wife even farther into her own depression. The whole house is depressed and upset and I am wondering if we are going to be booted soon. This is not how it is supposed to be, we have always done everything we could to do the right things, to help when we could, to just be happy.

I know others have it worse than me, but I can not help but wonder what I did wrong for all of this to happen to my family? I can not sleep anymore, partly because of physical pain, mostly due to emotional pain. I keep feeling like I can not do Christmas like this and I am dreading it getting here, it is more on my mind than anything right now, it is coming so fast it almost feels like days are minutes and I can not make it slow down. I just want to escape it somehow and it seems like there is no way. This is not how it is supposed to be, that is all I really know. I just do not know how I am going to be able to handle it, I really don't.

We have always known and treated Christmas as a celebration of Christ, but the thought of waking up that day with nothing for my kids is looming over me in a way that I honestly feel I can not do it, and have been thinking of how I could possibly run away from it somehow. I sit here and I keep wondering why is this happening to us? What could we have done wrong to deserve this? We HAD to do something wrong or why would God allow this to happen to my family and me?? It does not make any sense at all, I can not get it to make sense to me no matter how I try. In the back of my mind I am starting to wonder if God is there, I mean, why do we deserve this? We don't. And if we don't deserve this why is it happening to us? I can not stand the depression this is all putting my wife in to, she is the greatest woman in the world and an amazing wife and even more amazing mother, our kids are amazing kids who try in school and try to do the right thing. Where did we go wrong? This is not how it is supposed to be, this can not be God's plan for us, unless there is no plan? I do not know anymore. I just know I can not keep watching my family go through this. And I know prayer has not helped us, my wife and I have prayed and prayed, and she still goes to bed crying and I am still in pain, physical and emotional.

I hope and pray, that no one has to go through what we are going through. This is not how it is supposed to be, and the one big question I am finding myself asking myself all night long as I can not sleep right anymore is, if God is there, why is this happening to us????

Lockman, this is how it is supposed to be.

1 Peter 4:12-13

King James Version (KJV)

12Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: 13But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

1 Peter 1:6-7;"Wherein you greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, you are in heaviness through manifold temptations:That the trying of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perishes, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ."

Don't you know that we are the Body of Christ?

Luke 24:26;"Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into his glory?

Always keep in mind, it is not our will be done, but the Fathers.

Luke 22:42;"Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done."

Be of good cheer Lockman, for the consumption decreed shall overflow in righteousness for those who keep the faith.

Peace.

lindart · Dec 16, 2011

Lockman, you have been given good christian advice.

I was your daughter, let me explain.

My Dad was the most wonderful dad that any child could wish for. My mom and dad had six children and many miscarriages. My mom was a dedicated stay at home mom while my dad went to work everyday to provide for us. At night, he would help us with our homework when asked, and was always there for us. Every Sunday our parents took us to church and if we complained that we were sick they would let us stay home,but, we were not allowed outside that day if, miraculously, we felt better.Mom always cooked every night and baked weekly for us. She made sure that we had our chores on Saturday and after that we would be able to go out and play. My mom would keep us in line with a swat and we knew we deserved it. My dad never laid a hand on us but just raised one eyebrow and with his deep voice say your name. We knew we displeased our dad. He was not perfect, he was human, cigarettes and soda were his vices.

I had a wonderful childhood. So, why am I sharing this?

We were poor. My dad worked hard yet, he developed heart disease and was out of work for quite some time. He strongly believed that mom should stay home with the kids so it was quite a burden to bear, financially and emotionally for him. He, likewise, would suffer from depression from time to time knowing he had a large family to raise with his youngest only a little girl. Life was very hard for him but he never gave up!

Did I say I had a wonderful childhood? I sure did! Mom and Dad were always there for us. We always came together for dinner, even if it was 'doggie stew'! Our Christmases were grand with the decorations and they always got a large tree - we had high ceilings in this old victorian house - all the holiday trimmings, maybe old, used but well cared for. The presents were beautiful under the tree. We were glad for the simple things, a few toys for the younger siblings, a handbag or a sweater for the older ones. It was wonderful!

God really put the 'test' on my dear dad. And a long one at that. He persevered in faith and God richly blessed him with a family that adored him. We have nothing but fond, warm memories and the example of my dear parents to follow as we go through our 'trials'.

My dad didn't 'deserve' this tough journey but he endured to the end. His family reaped many blessings through his faithfulness to Christ.

I hope this perspective will help you view your trial in a different way. God provides a way to make this a richly blessed time for you and your precious family. May the good Lord bless you!

Norah63 · Dec 16, 2011

For one, it is encouraging me to read the posts of help, given to this thread.
Hope is a partner to faith. They work together. Keep the faith.

tturt · Dec 16, 2011

lockman - did you see my post about talking with your pastor or a local pastor? Or is that something you had rather not do? I understand, just wondering.

lockman · Dec 16, 2011

I am not a member of any specific Church here where I live. We have tried some over the years, but always came to feel uncomfortable for one reason or another, a lot of times feeling pressured over my non denominational standing, and several times over pressure to give more when I had no more to give and the like. One church in particular started taking to sending the collection plate several times, sometimes 3 or 4 times, back down isles that did not put in much when it came through. I believe in supporting your Church, but not like that.

I also know this is a very busy time of year for the Church, and imagine they are stretched thin with many needy people especially in the city I live in. I would never want to feel as if I took from someone else that needed something also. I know that sounds odd, but the last thing my wife and I need is to feel even more guilty I think, I don't know. This just sucks.

Thank you for all the responses. We still have hope, and are praying, that all of our issues get better if even a little at a time.

TRWord · Dec 17, 2011

lockman

I remember my own time of trials. Everything said to me then seem vague and the usual platitudes.
All but one!
I remember a friend said to me; mans downfall is Gods opportunity.
That was my eye opener, even though to this day my friend cannot remember saying those words. I guess because the message came through him and not from him.

It times like these, during our most desperate moments that we see what was before us all along.

During times like these I stay in the following words:

Ps. 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

They have helped me keep the faith until I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

tturt · Dec 17, 2011

lockman, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like you have to justify anything to me including not having a home church.

I know that at our church we've had families let us know they needed help and we tried to help them through this season. Sometimes that included buying toys at Family Dollar and some folks bought books from their home libraries to contribute, etc.

What country do you live in?

lockman · Dec 17, 2011

I live in the USA

Shiloh1-49-10 · Dec 17, 2011

Hi again Lockman;

I've just been reading the various posts made by others since I last visited and am impressed both by the compassion expressed and advice given. You belong to a wonderful family...the family of God, and your are, through Christ, an heir of God, and a joint-heir with Christ. Sometimes we have to consider this spiritual family by way of our natural family. What is it that we would withhold from our loved ones given our ability and power to do so? Only that which we deem would do them more harm than good. And, as Scripture so aptly puts it, "If ye then, being evil [our nature here, not our practise], know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?", Mt.7:11. So here's the secret, we need to run on down to this 7:11, do we not? Scripture cannot put it more plainly.
So what's the problem? Two, as I see it. First, let's consider the children in our natural family. Is there a lack of faith with them that we will meet their needs if they know we have the ability to do so? That we have bread and to spare but they might go hungry? That we have warm clothes, and of the right fit, but they might go cold? Of course not! As children they do not look around at what they do not have themselves: they look to their caregivers and know by faith that they will be cared for. The question is, Do we bring this same kind of faith into our spiritual family? We say we know God our Father has the ability to provide but do we have faith that He will? Let's go to the 7:11 once more and read it again. Ask and believe, with Thanksgiving.
The second problem is one I mentioned before. We already have the answer, as we see it, in mind when we ask. And because we do, we may miss the real answer when it comes. And then we think the Lord has not answered my prayer. Something like the drowning man who passed up three avenues of rescue because he wanted the Lord to rescue Him...and so he drowned...and then asked God why...only to be told, "I sent you three means of escape, but you refused them all". Just a story but it illustrates the way we are sometimes when we ask for things centered around our wealth, our health, and a host of other things we think we know the solution of. Paul's prayer is a good one, "Lord what wilt Thou have me to do?" In Paul's case with the question of his health the answer was, "My grace is sufficient for thee". And we may need nothing more in any given circumstance.
We must remember that God is for us, not against us. Praying for you; you are not alone. Be blessed in His peace.

lockman · Dec 17, 2011

I have considered many times that maybe I am just missing things, but I honestly believe I have not. Even when a possibility opens up, it is taken before it can fix anything. Right before surgery we lost our insurance, so I was not supposed to have surgery? I can not believe that is the case, no one is supposed to live in pain. My friends keep telling me that sometimes bad things just happen to good people. And not to worry it will get better. And that, along with prayer is all that has held my hope up until now. It has to get better soon, it just has to.

Thank you all for your responses.

Shiloh1-49-10 · Dec 17, 2011

In Mt. 8 a leper comes to the Lord with a specific request, "Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean". The Lord responds, "I will; be thou clean", and immediately his leprosy is cleansed. The leper knew by faith that He was able; he just wasn't sure if He was willing. Self doubt, no doubt. "The Lord is not willing that any should perish", but he is willing that all might be saved.

Then the Lord makes a curious demand of him. "See thou tell no man". Now we know the Lord often used occassions such as this and the raising of Lazarus and so on, to display the truth as to who He was, so we must question the why of this demand. Why not broadcast this answer to a specific request?

The answer, I believe, is to be found in John 2:23-25. It says there that "many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did" but then goes on to say, "But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, and needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man". It seems apparent from this portion that the Lord does not "commit himself unto them" because they believed only because they saw, and sight is not faith. If we 'see' something, there is no need for "faith", for faith is believing without seeing. It is here, as elsewhere, the 'loaves and fishes' thing. Hordes would have thronged him and 'believed'; yet their belief would be a transient thing "and because they had no root, they [soon] withered away" (Mt.13:6). Faith must precede sight.

The Lord knows what is in man and so, very often, the answer to our prayers comes at a time and in such a way that we often are made to wonder: Is this a coincidence or did the Lord really answer my prayer. Not that He cannot or does not produce honest to goodness miracles. He does. But he rewards faith and trust in Himself and often brings the answers about so as to seek no attention from an eager but unbelieving world. Who wouldn't line up to put their stocks in the safest portfolio?Sometimes, when necessary, he changes the circumstances surounding our lives; at other times he seeks to change us instead; sometimes both, it seems. An unbelieving world says, Let us see and we will believe; but the Lord says, Believe and you shall see. As every true believer will testify about salvation: faith must come first. So, too, for preservation.

Just needed to say some things some where. So here is where I ended up this morning.

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