Just Need to Talk...Possibly Triggering

[jesusxchick]

So, the thing is that I'm okay to talk about what happened with me to others to help them, but when it comes to my experience it's kinda bleh, so be patient with me. When I was 6 years old I was molested by a family friend. My mom noticed that there was something wrong with me, so she asked me and I denied at first, but then told her. We went to the police and they put him under arrest and searched his house. He was a photographer and when they searched his house they found pictures of me when I was sleeping that he had took. I don't want to go into them, but they weren't suitable for children at all. I was asleep, so I had no idea, it shocked me a lot when I found out and made me feel weird and then disgusting as I grew up and understood more because I was little then.

When I grew up a little more, I was about 10 years old I went on a camping trip with my mom, my step dad at the time, and one of their friends. When we were there, the friend of mom's and my step dad at the time touched me on the upper part of my body, but I pulled away immediately because I wasn't going to let what happened to me when I was 6 again. I told my mom and my step at the time what happened and they kept him away from me.

The thing is that I know that none of this was my fault. I did for a long time and wished that I hadn't been born, but through therapy I was able to conquer that feeling (I didn't have God in my life at the time of going to therapy). But I feel somewhat ashamed. Not just through that, but these events and some other stuff that's happened which I can't bring myself to talk about yet pretty much has a hold on me. It's like this huge bondage that's weighing me down. I don't want to go to therapy because I don't want my mom to worry about me or anything, but I'm kinda stuck. I've been praying to God to help me and help me break this bondage and I know he will. It's just so much to handle.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for or not what I'm asking for in this, I just needed to talk about it to people who would be encouraging and knew what I was going through. I appreciate any advice or words that anyone has to offer at all. I'm just stuck with this basically.

 

[db10]

I think you should consider therapy, your mom would want what is best for you. I know you don't want her to worry, but I am sure she would support you. It could make your life so much better. Please reconsider.

If you won, then I would advise you speak to peoplewho have been through the same thing.

My thoughts are with you.

 

[jesusxchick]

Thank you for your words.

The church I'm starting to go to actually has a counseling service and I might talk to someone there.

 

[Mela'h]

One thing that I know has helped me is finding someone who I can trust to talk to. You need to share what happened to you and what you are feeling with someone. In my own experience, just actually telling someone, putting words to my experience and my feelings and thoughts helped soooooo much. It's a biblical principal that healing happens when things are brought into the light and sharing your burdens helps lighten your load.

Praying for light and healing to you sister

 

[UnitynLove]

Praying for you sister.

 

[BelindaP]

You should definitely see somebody to help you out. It is a very heavy burden for somebody to carry by themself.

I also thank God that your parents believed you and protected you once they knew. That is such a blessing.

Your mom will worry about you, but that's OK. My mom used to think that only crazy or suicidal people went to therapy. I have taught her that it isn't always so. Sometimes we just need somebody to unload on or somebody who can help us get some perspective when we're out of kilter.

Going to counseling at your church sounds like a really great idea. I think you will find Christian counseling to be very healing. Your mom might not worry so much either.

May God bless you and keep you.

 

[LazeyWinde]

I recomend getting therapy/counseling. Your mother might worry at first but she should realize that you're just getting help.

 

[jesusxchick]

One thing that I know has helped me is finding someone who I can trust to talk to. You need to share what happened to you and what you are feeling with someone. In my own experience, just actually telling someone, putting words to my experience and my feelings and thoughts helped soooooo much. It's a biblical principal that healing happens when things are brought into the light and sharing your burdens helps lighten your load.

Praying for light and healing to you sister

Thanks so much for your advice and encouraging words, I definately do just need to talk about it with someone I trust.

Praying for you sister.

Thank you for your prayers

You should definitely see somebody to help you out. It is a very heavy burden for somebody to carry by themself.

I also thank God that your parents believed you and protected you once they knew. That is such a blessing.

Your mom will worry about you, but that's OK. My mom used to think that only crazy or suicidal people went to therapy. I have taught her that it isn't always so. Sometimes we just need somebody to unload on or somebody who can help us get some perspective when we're out of kilter.

Going to counseling at your church sounds like a really great idea. I think you will find Christian counseling to be very healing. Your mom might not worry so much either.

May God bless you and keep you.

Thank you for your encouraging words, I do want to talk about it more to someone. Worrying is what parents do best, so I know she will, I just hate to see her worry cause then I feel guilty, but you're right.

I recomend getting therapy/counseling. Your mother might worry at first but she should realize that you're just getting help.

I'm going to probably do counseling at the church I'm going to now and I know it will help me a lot with any burdening thoughts I have. Thank you for your response and insightful words.

 

[pennsyginny]

Hi
I know the feeling. For 30 years I did not talk about being molested by my adoptive Dad. It was sucha relief. But for 15 more I kept silent about my rape at 28. Now I go to a support group for sexual assault survivprs and they are trying to help me unblock. I also have counseling every other week. It is such a relief to express these feelings. It has been a long time since I allowed myself to cry but am getting there. I think you would find it a tremendous relief to be able to talk about it. What a blessing you told your mom and that she believed you.
Take care.

 

[jesusxchick]

Thank you for your wonderful input, it's much appreciated

It's good to hear that you're doing well with your situation, thanks for your advice and telling about your experience with dealing with what happened to you. I really do want to join somewhere like you're going to and I'm hoping that there's somewhere near where I live. I'm going to start looking and checking places out.

Thanks again for your kind words and God Bless You

 

[Amin]

Hi,
When i was maybe 6or 7 i was molested by a man that lived in our neighborhood. I told my parents and he was taken care of by the police.
As i grew up it really bothered me to have been in thatsituation with a man.
Eventually I came to realize that hey, I wasn't the one doing the wrong thing here.
I was a child, i didn't cause anything
I was just in the wrong spot at the
wrong time.
Later in my life me and that same man were going to the same church together. Does God have a sense of humor or what.
I looked at him constantly, and God created in me a forgiving heart,
Telling me the man was sick and i
ended up not having any ill feelings toward him. Oh I still didn't trust him or anything like that.
What I'm saying is, God Showed me as only he could, that it wasn't my fault, i shouldn't feel anything bad about myself. I hope I'm saying what you were looking for,but, how
could you as a child know these things would happen. Especially with a friend of the family. You're not at fault for what happened to you. I pray for you that God would show you what it is you need to heal. I know he can do it. Our God
is a God comfort and peace.
I pray with all my heart for you that God would bring you to a point of healing.
Bless You.
Chuck.

 

[jesusxchick]

Thank you for sharing your story with me and how God helped you, it's more helpful and encouraging and I am grateful that you've shared it with me. You're an inspiration to all those out there who are still in a hard place with this kind of tragedy and it's a blessing from God that you can tell your story and help those around you with your words.

God Bless You

 

[Amin]

Thank you for sharing your story with me and how God helped you, it's more helpful and encouraging and I am grateful that you've shared it with me. You're an inspiration to all those out there who are still in a hard place with this kind of tragedy and it's a blessing from God that you can tell your story and help those around you with your words.

God Bless You

I hope it helped in some way.
When i read some other posts they touch me in a way that I've never felt before.
Remember, how could you be at fault
if you're fearful, and you were so young. What you were was an INNOCENT, victim. Think of those two words.
I pray for your healing. Bless You,
Chuck.

 

[Victory of the Cross]

So, the thing is that I'm okay to talk about what happened with me to others to help them, but when it comes to my experience it's kinda bleh, so be patient with me. When I was 6 years old I was molested by a family friend. My mom noticed that there was something wrong with me, so she asked me and I denied at first, but then told her. We went to the police and they put him under arrest and searched his house. He was a photographer and when they searched his house they found pictures of me when I was sleeping that he had took. I don't want to go into them, but they weren't suitable for children at all. I was asleep, so I had no idea, it shocked me a lot when I found out and made me feel weird and then disgusting as I grew up and understood more because I was little then.

When I grew up a little more, I was about 10 years old I went on a camping trip with my mom, my step dad at the time, and one of their friends. When we were there, the friend of mom's and my step dad at the time touched me on the upper part of my body, but I pulled away immediately because I wasn't going to let what happened to me when I was 6 again. I told my mom and my step at the time what happened and they kept him away from me.

The thing is that I know that none of this was my fault. I did for a long time and wished that I hadn't been born, but through therapy I was able to conquer that feeling (I didn't have God in my life at the time of going to therapy). But I feel somewhat ashamed. Not just through that, but these events and some other stuff that's happened which I can't bring myself to talk about yet pretty much has a hold on me. It's like this huge bondage that's weighing me down. I don't want to go to therapy because I don't want my mom to worry about me or anything, but I'm kinda stuck. I've been praying to God to help me and help me break this bondage and I know he will. It's just so much to handle.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for or not what I'm asking for in this, I just needed to talk about it to people who would be encouraging and knew what I was going through. I appreciate any advice or words that anyone has to offer at all. I'm just stuck with this basically.

if you ever need to talk I'm here

 

[jesusxchick]

if you ever need to talk I'm here

Thank you that's so sweet! I'll keep that in mind

 

[BigToe]

Your mom would worry about you because she loves you. It is nothing to feel guilty about. And you can always explain that you are ok, but want to make sure you aren't ignoring any feelings over the situation and are seeking counseling just to be safe. It might put her at ease.

If your church offers counseling, that might be a great first step. If it works, great, otherwise they might be able to recommend a counselor that deals with sexual assault specifically. There are also support groups too. It has helped me to hear other people's stories and their reactions/emotions because a big problem with me is feeling conflicting emotions and thus not really knowing what is going on. Hearing other folks helps me understand my own journey of healing more.

And if you don't feel comfortable with a counselor or group, please do find someone you feel comfortable talking to about this. It can be so bad to bottle things up inside you because the pressure can just build and build until it is ready to explode.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to send me a PM, but don't let offers online take the place of you getting help in your offline world too.

 

[pennsyginny]

Just keep on keeping on and trust in our Savior. I also read a lot and there is really a lot of good material these days.I can recommend some if you want.I hope you find a group. Their support can mean so much. Let me know if I can help. Writing helps too.

 

[jesusxchick]

Your mom would worry about you because she loves you. It is nothing to feel guilty about. And you can always explain that you are ok, but want to make sure you aren't ignoring any feelings over the situation and are seeking counseling just to be safe. It might put her at ease.

If your church offers counseling, that might be a great first step. If it works, great, otherwise they might be able to recommend a counselor that deals with sexual assault specifically. There are also support groups too. It has helped me to hear other people's stories and their reactions/emotions because a big problem with me is feeling conflicting emotions and thus not really knowing what is going on. Hearing other folks helps me understand my own journey of healing more.

And if you don't feel comfortable with a counselor or group, please do find someone you feel comfortable talking to about this. It can be so bad to bottle things up inside you because the pressure can just build and build until it is ready to explode.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to send me a PM, but don't let offers online take the place of you getting help in your offline world too.

I plan on talking to a mature Christian woman at my church, I'm following God's direction with it though. If I talk to someone about all that's going on with me I want to make sure that they're a person that I feel like I can trust and be open with, so I've been praying to God about it, asking Him to lead me to someone I could fully trust and be open with.

Thank you, no I'd never do that. The internet is good for learning and some support, but it's important to experience offline life and be apart of it as much as possible, in a safe Christ-like way of course.

Just keep on keeping on and trust in our Savior. I also read a lot and there is really a lot of good material these days.I can recommend some if you want.I hope you find a group. Their support can mean so much. Let me know if I can help. Writing helps too.

It's all you can do really, just follow God's direction and trust that He knows best. I plan on going to LifeWay Christian store this weekend, so I might look into some books that will help me. If you have some good books to recommend I'd like to see if I can find them. Thank you and yes support means a lot, more than it's made known. Thank you for your suggestions and kind words. God Bless

 

[pennsyginny]

One of the best books out there for Christians who have been abused is T.D. Jakes' WOMAN THOU ART LOOSED. Ther eis also a workbook which can be gotten on Amazon and Christianbook.com. Jakes also did the WOAMN THOU ART LOOSED STUDY BIBLE which is just tremendous. I have bought multiple copies of it for hurting woman and would like to use it for a small group at church. THE WOUNDED HEART is good. Joyce Meyer has written about her own abuse and I think BEAUTY FOR ASHES is very good. I am reading secular stuff more right now because my group is secular. I think it is good to have someone to discuss what you read with also.
It's quite a journey we embark on when we decide to wtudy this issue. God be with you and if I can help, just let me know. Remember always it was not your fault and that
Jesus loves you.
pennsyginny

 

[jesusxchick]

Thank you for the recommendations, I'll look for them and get them to read because they sound very helpful and inspiring.

God Bless