Well...I honestly feel like this forum could be a great place for fellowship, so I'm turning to this community to help me get started in the right direction.
I was born and raised Catholic and I feel even when I was doubting I was still Catholic at heart, but there was alot of doubting. At one point I started going through the process of conversion to Judaism and for almost five years I practiced Wicca on and off. In fact, I was going to dedicate myself to it on Halloween of 2005, but the most amazing thing happened: I had a horrible anxiety attack and just flipped out. After much crying I finally calmed down enough to clear my Pagan junk out of my room and prayed alot that day.
I honestly feel like that day I was reborn, but I seem to still having stumbling blocks. I haven't managed to read the Bible cover to cover like I wanted to and I haven't made it to church yet. (I have Tourette's Syndrome, and while it doesn't hardly show at all now as an adult, I still don't like large crowds) I'm on this forum, but I don't really participate. Each time I try to get there, something seems to be holding me back and it's rather frusterating.
Sometimes I also get frusterated with the faith itself and I get scared as heck sometimes about turning my life over to the Lord. I don't know why, it just scares me, but at the same time I've done better with my problems since Halloween. Remarkably better, actually. So I know this is what's right...but why doesn't it seem to work as well as I want it to?
Any suggestions? I want to stay on the path, but I was scared last night when I dreamed again of a Goddess and this time of year nature is so beautiful it's tempting to think that way sometimes. Is it always going to be like this or will it get better? I hope so, because despite these issues, I'm happier then I've been in a long time!
Mare
I was born and raised Catholic and I feel even when I was doubting I was still Catholic at heart, but there was alot of doubting. At one point I started going through the process of conversion to Judaism and for almost five years I practiced Wicca on and off. In fact, I was going to dedicate myself to it on Halloween of 2005, but the most amazing thing happened: I had a horrible anxiety attack and just flipped out. After much crying I finally calmed down enough to clear my Pagan junk out of my room and prayed alot that day.
I honestly feel like that day I was reborn, but I seem to still having stumbling blocks. I haven't managed to read the Bible cover to cover like I wanted to and I haven't made it to church yet. (I have Tourette's Syndrome, and while it doesn't hardly show at all now as an adult, I still don't like large crowds) I'm on this forum, but I don't really participate. Each time I try to get there, something seems to be holding me back and it's rather frusterating.
Sometimes I also get frusterated with the faith itself and I get scared as heck sometimes about turning my life over to the Lord. I don't know why, it just scares me, but at the same time I've done better with my problems since Halloween. Remarkably better, actually. So I know this is what's right...but why doesn't it seem to work as well as I want it to?
Any suggestions? I want to stay on the path, but I was scared last night when I dreamed again of a Goddess and this time of year nature is so beautiful it's tempting to think that way sometimes. Is it always going to be like this or will it get better? I hope so, because despite these issues, I'm happier then I've been in a long time!
Mare