Well between talking with the Great Father and checking out good book on loneliness. All starts with one emotion, fear.
Fear and negitive thinking prevents a person from being themselves around others. Avoiding conflicts, insecurities, shame, self doubt, and anxiety.
Second part is need for control. Fear shrinks the social world so much that try to control what space one has. Lure people into it or hope someone notices. When in large group or crowd, anxiety of not having control prevents a person from being themselves.
Lack of faith, ever human being has written in their souls for the heart's desire to share themselves with another. God created us with relationships in mind, but when one cuts themselves from others. Like creates a vacuum, and that makes the heart's desire seems like the cure all. When in reality it is not enough. Placing way too much weight on equal yoked situation.
God told me commitment. Natural tendency to allow God to have control in all things in life except maybe finding love in my life or playing my guitar. Or fill in whatever desire that one wants control over. I found it surprizing my lack of faith I have in this area. REALLY the fear and desire for cure all created discontentment. That discontentment has become a wedge between my trust in the God in this area. When in reality the folly lies in my fear of being social, which created the problem in the first place.
-learn what negitive thoughts preventing one from crossing that bridge to be social with others
-learn positive thinking and additude, if anything is negitive make sure there is solid proof to back it before it is believed
-suffering from shame or guilt, solve these problems(I used to carry my own shame with my porn addiction, I am not afraid of it anymore for I humbled myself and tackled it)
-let go of one's death grip on whatever desire. Control should be in God's hands, not ours. Freedom is in having no control and breathing in unpredictiblility and risk
-commitment, return trust in God that he will help you. He has a plan, always does. Reflect thru one's own life to see where his hand has played if need proof.
My own considered opinion. I wanted to post in turn offs that greatest problem is when person doesn't allow themselves to be themselves. Yes there are people who look to physcial to judge of potiential mate, but there are others who look towards personality. I think I been robbing people in my home town the chance to know who I am. I think lot other people think of their weight or some issue prevent them from shining. Do not look to society that is drowning in sin for concept of normalacy. Be who you are meant to be, which is one's own self. Yes, we all are not perfect and can use some improvement. But so can everyone else in the room, at work, or whereever.
