I hope I've posted in the right place.
A brief introduction...
About a year ago, I met this girl through Christian Mingle. She's 39, I am 36. The "first run-through" of our relationship was pretty rocky. We couldn't go an entire day with out arguing about something. After about month or two we finally just went our separate ways and didn't communicate for about a year.
About a month ago, I felt like God was putting it on my heart to contact her again. And we've kind of slowly started talking again. It seems like things were new again, and we had matured quite a bit, and I thought God was giving us a second chance. I feel like things are different this time, but again, the arguing is starting to rear its ugly had again.
A lot of arguments come from misinterpreting the other, and reading too much into each other's statements. We both are highly sensitive, and I've always been boneheaded, and have always said exactly what I thought.
From the beginning one of the main things that I think irritates me most is that I've always felt like I have to compete with her friends. She calls everyone a brother or a sister, or family, and it really confuses me as to who is actually her kinfolk are. Our first date involved me sitting there talking to her looking at the back of a cell phone. I very nicely asked if she wouldn't mind putting it away until after dinner. She apologized and put the phone away. As soon as we were done with dinner, she started getting out her phone and started texting again.
I didn't think much about what this pattern could lead to later then, because I was enamored with her, and in spite of this little "irritation" we actually had a very nice and successful date.
She lives an hour away, and being unemployed, I can't come to see her very often. So we have to talk on the phone a lot between dates. I have to admit that it hurts quite a bit when just about everytime you call her, she is talking to one of her friends, and can't talk. Also, when I make plans to come see her on a Saturday, she already has something planned prior.
Although, I am in an extremely desperate financial situation, I do try to sacrifice where I can to make the trip to see her. So I have managed to get a few funds to go and see her, and I asked her what she was doing next Saturday, and she told me that she had a wedding to go to -- ok, strike one. I can understand that one. "Well, what about the following weekend?"
"I'm going to Chatanooga with my friends for the day"
Am I being selfish in feeling like I'm being put on the back burner? I've never really felt like I was a priority in her life, but I know that I have made many concessions to try and be a good friend. I am frustrated, and I don't know what to do.
Now, I don't want to make her sound like a totally monster, because she really isn't, and she has some amazing qualities that are very appealing. I feel like God won't quite let me move on as this is happening for a reason. I'm 36 years old and have yet to have my first serious relationship, and I'm really tired of being single to be perfectly honest. My friends say I'm settling because I don't think I can do any better, and I'm wondering if that is really true. I just don't know. Help me out here guys -- and ladies. Any advice would be appreciated. Blessings to you all!
A brief introduction...
About a year ago, I met this girl through Christian Mingle. She's 39, I am 36. The "first run-through" of our relationship was pretty rocky. We couldn't go an entire day with out arguing about something. After about month or two we finally just went our separate ways and didn't communicate for about a year.
About a month ago, I felt like God was putting it on my heart to contact her again. And we've kind of slowly started talking again. It seems like things were new again, and we had matured quite a bit, and I thought God was giving us a second chance. I feel like things are different this time, but again, the arguing is starting to rear its ugly had again.
A lot of arguments come from misinterpreting the other, and reading too much into each other's statements. We both are highly sensitive, and I've always been boneheaded, and have always said exactly what I thought.
From the beginning one of the main things that I think irritates me most is that I've always felt like I have to compete with her friends. She calls everyone a brother or a sister, or family, and it really confuses me as to who is actually her kinfolk are. Our first date involved me sitting there talking to her looking at the back of a cell phone. I very nicely asked if she wouldn't mind putting it away until after dinner. She apologized and put the phone away. As soon as we were done with dinner, she started getting out her phone and started texting again.
I didn't think much about what this pattern could lead to later then, because I was enamored with her, and in spite of this little "irritation" we actually had a very nice and successful date.
She lives an hour away, and being unemployed, I can't come to see her very often. So we have to talk on the phone a lot between dates. I have to admit that it hurts quite a bit when just about everytime you call her, she is talking to one of her friends, and can't talk. Also, when I make plans to come see her on a Saturday, she already has something planned prior.
Although, I am in an extremely desperate financial situation, I do try to sacrifice where I can to make the trip to see her. So I have managed to get a few funds to go and see her, and I asked her what she was doing next Saturday, and she told me that she had a wedding to go to -- ok, strike one. I can understand that one. "Well, what about the following weekend?"
"I'm going to Chatanooga with my friends for the day"
Am I being selfish in feeling like I'm being put on the back burner? I've never really felt like I was a priority in her life, but I know that I have made many concessions to try and be a good friend. I am frustrated, and I don't know what to do.
Now, I don't want to make her sound like a totally monster, because she really isn't, and she has some amazing qualities that are very appealing. I feel like God won't quite let me move on as this is happening for a reason. I'm 36 years old and have yet to have my first serious relationship, and I'm really tired of being single to be perfectly honest. My friends say I'm settling because I don't think I can do any better, and I'm wondering if that is really true. I just don't know. Help me out here guys -- and ladies. Any advice would be appreciated. Blessings to you all!
