just a rant....

[~*Hope*~]

tonight was just horrible. i was fine all day. even when my boyfriend and i broke up, i was just fine. i didnt get down until my "best friend" IMed me from her friends house. i swear it sucks so much when they get together. they just seem to pick on me and make me feel like nothing. less than nothing. they make fun of democrats, i am one. and its like yeah sorry i was born in a poor neighborhood and didnt grow up with money like you guys. maybe if they grew up like i did, they would have a different opinion. but no... they live in the O.C. nice neighborhood, private schools.

so what did i do? binge. and cut. I am such a loser. it just make me so upset cause i look at her as my best friend and most of the time we act that way. but whenever she is around her other friend its like i am nothing. like the other friend is the best friend and i am just some friend helping her along with recovery. but she would much rather just have nothng to do with me.

sorry i just feel like dirt

 

[catgarden]

They ain't worth all that hubba balo. Just pray to god that they will change. You might try talking to them besides you are not a loser

 

[~*Hope*~]

Your so sweet. *hug* thanks angel. it means a lot to me.

 

[Angelsdance]

tonight was just horrible. i was fine all day. even when my boyfriend and i broke up, i was just fine. i didnt get down until my "best friend" IMed me from her friends house. i swear it sucks so much when they get together. they just seem to pick on me and make me feel like nothing. less than nothing. they make fun of democrats, i am one. and its like yeah sorry i was born in a poor neighborhood and didnt grow up with money like you guys. maybe if they grew up like i did, they would have a different opinion. but no... they live in the O.C. nice neighborhood, private schools.

so what did i do? binge. and cut. I am such a loser. it just make me so upset cause i look at her as my best friend and most of the time we act that way. but whenever she is around her other friend its like i am nothing. like the other friend is the best friend and i am just some friend helping her along with recovery. but she would much rather just have nothng to do with me.

sorry i just feel like dirt

Okay, just for your information, Your not nothing!!! God thinks your worth EVERYTHING. Just because they have a better house, or better car, or go to a private school doesn't mean they're better then you. Your just as good as they are, and in the bible it says, that the First shall be last, and the last shall be first. As far as your friends, your best "friend" isn't much of a friend if all she does is degrade you. My mom always told me that God didn't put you on this world to be everyone's walking mat. Tell your friend how she makes you feel, and if she doesn't stop, well maybe you need to find another friend. God will send some to you. God bless and your worth EVERYTHING.

No Price Tag



(*(Angelsdance)*)

 

[andrewbee]

I too grew up in a poor home. I didn't have the stuff that the other kids had. For a long time, as an adult, I thought I needed money to prove to other people that I was worth something. I overspent and got myself into debt as a result.

In the last year or two, I've dealt with the shame inside (by psychotherapy) that bound me and made me feel worthless. Now I know that my worth is intrinsic - it's based on that fact that I am a valuable and worthwhile person. Money doesn't really matter to me that much any more, so I am free to live a frugal, not flashy, life, and put money aside to get out of debt.

Does that make sense? My main point is that the shame you feel about yourself is not the truth about who you are. But, just saying that to yourself a bunch of times won't resolve the shame. You have to go deep into it to resolve it - I chose to do this via therapy. John Bradshaw's book "Healing the Shame That Binds You" is great, and very informative.

 

[Rosa Mystica]

Sweetie, I'm only a PM away if you wanna talk.

Believe you me, I have tons of experience w/ scummy friends.

 

[GarethS]

Hi Hope,

I will pray for you Hope, you sound like such a sweetheart, it's horrible that people would do that to you. I've had that happen to me, but I learned not to care what other people think of me, I only care how I think of me, everyone else can go jump off a cliff. I think rich kids are not the best people to be around anyway because they are spoiled, you don't have a lot of money, so what? Like that matters, you're going to grow up with so much more character and respect for things than they ever will, because you appreciate what you have, they probably don't.

Anyway, you have the spirit, that's all you need for a good life. I would think carefully if you want this person as a friend, I'm sure you can make a lot of other friends who will treat you better than that. I don't have many friends myself for this very reason, they always used to stab me in the back or do something stupid...

Lots of Love

Gareth

 

[VivDaGurl]

You worth more than anything to God and do not let all these negative input to make you feel like a fool. After my surgery as I was recuperating at the hospital, an old friend came to visit me and started to ask me questions about my ex (I had a very painful relationship) and started to ask me to get myself changed by making my eyes bigger, my nose taller, loose weight, make my legs longer, etc. then, I'll look really pretty after that and I will start to have guys loving me.

It hurts me badly and after she left, I couldn't even take my lunch and ended up crying in the hospital room. I was so, so hurt and thank God for sending someone over to minister to me. I'm not born into a rich family either and I have people who despise me because I can't afford certain things.

You see, God put us where He knows is best for us. Think of it this way, if we were to go through a really good life and with no difficulties to deal with, we will never appreciate when blessings are being poured on us. A person who started working went straigth into the management level would never have better understanding of how their staffs feel compare to those who starts from the lower level in the organisation. Be content with who you are and continue to learn more about Him. Grow in the Lord and lift up all your worries to the Lord. He will shower you with blessings.