Just a question to parents of all ages...

[Brandlynn]

I was just wanting to know if anyone else has ever been in this position, or if Cody and I are the only ones pathetic enough to end ourselves up here.

Today we dug our Christmas tree out, but I am hesitating to put it up. It has always been my hope that when I had a child that if he or she was not old enough their first Christmas to enjoy everything that at least the second Christmas, they would be able to have fun. Last Christmas my son would sit in the floor and stare at the presents until someone opened them for him. He would play with the bows and the shiny wrapping paper, but that is the extent to what he was amused about.

But this Christmas is different. I sat down today after we had received our last bill for the month and started crunchin some numbers. I was left in a position that I would not wish my worst enemy to be in. It breaks my heart to say that this year, there may be a tree, but nothing under it for my son. I don't care about my husband and I. we don't matter, but Shadrach does matter, and I want to give him a good Christmas. After all, he is only going to be this little one time, and while he may never remember it, I will. And while all his cousins and aunts and uncles and other kids are tearing the shiny bows and gift wrap open to see what "Santa" brought them, Shad will be sitting there, wanting to get in it with them, but Shad will have nothing. He deserves better. I know that it is not all about presents and gifts and all that, but what kind of mama and daddy are we being to have to pay bills, which has to be done, and my boy not have any thing from us. All the other parents are going to be getting their kids shoes that costs hundreds of dollars, and we are unable to get him a pair that costs 10. Every other kid is getting the latest gadget or thingamabob, but yet, his jeans and shirts are all too short from last year, and if we are blessed, we will be able to buy him the baby wipes that are thick instead of the ones that are thinner than a dryer sheet.

It's not that he is going to remember it, or anything like that, but I will. I will remember having to take him outside and making up some kind of white lie like"he's all ready opened his" or something like that. And he will not understand that those toys and gifts are for the other kids' moms and dad's, there is nothing for you. He won't be able to understand why he can't sit in the middle of the floor with the rest of them and tear into the presents.

Yeah, the grandparents will get him toys and all, and that will be great, but mama and daddy has nothing to give him.

Am I a bad Mama? Are we bad parents? Would you all have done the same thing and chosen to pay your bills so the lights don't get turned off like I did, or would you all take the money and phooey on the light bill and water bill and rent...just give the child a good Christmas for goodness sakes.

I feel almost as if I am chosing having a place to live over my boy, which, I guess I am. And after me always saying that I would give up everything for him.

Ohhhhhhh......fiddlesticks! What should I do?

 

[ChildByGrace]

As hard as is it bills always have to be paid and I would suggest those get done-otherwise you will end up in a worse position that this year, next year.

Iro presents-try to forget what other people are getting-a child doesn't know the value of $100 sneakers and would be just as happy with something that cost $1.

Is there anything that you can make for him-sweets or candy or a Christmas decoration that can be used next year? My ds is 3 this Christmas and while he understands that there will be presents for him, he's not going to notice that other people have more than him or that they cost more. Don't be fooled into thinking you need to spend alot of money on him for you all to have a good Chritmas-the presents my ds plays with and enjoys the most are the cheapest.

 

[Brandlynn]

Yeah, but i guess that it is a parents thing to want better for him than I had, but then again, what more could I have wanted? I had two parents who always loved me and cared for me. To this day, I know that if I just need a friend to talk to that they are there for me. I suppose that is all that matters.

I had the idea to go to the furniture store and get a washer or dryer box, cut a few silly- shaped windows in it, spray paint it with bright colors, and put some colorful stickers on it and let it be his own "clubhouse". I dunno, though. It sounds like I am being a tight wad, which I guess that I am. But all that would cost is a can of spray paint and a few stickers.

 

[Erinwilcox]

Money was always tight in our family--some years much more than others.

After watching my husband's family go crazy at Christmas, we have decided that we are not going to go overboard with gifts for our kids when the time comes. The kids who get a million expensive toys get bored easily, they never know which toy to play with--they play for a minute with each one and then get bored.

I think that you clubhouse idea is GREAT! We used to play spaceship for hours under our kitchen table, build forts with blankets, etc. That was way more fun than toys. If you can make a clubhouse, I'm sure that your son would love it AND get hours of fun out of it.

If you feel self conscious while everyone else is opening gifts, why not give it to him beforehand? It's really nobody's business what you get your children, the quantity of gifts you buy, or how much you spend. What matters is that it comes from a heart of love--and something you make yourself is priceless.

 

[Singermom]

My husband just got out of the hospital, where he was in ICU for a long time. Because of his particular work situation he has no sick days and no health insurance; hence, the time he's out...no money. I have a job, where I work part-time. Because it's a fairly new company I can't ask for more time...and once again, because I'm PT, no insurance. All said, every cent we have is going towards rent and utilities.

Thankfully my parents and the girls' Godmothers are very generous, so our girls WILL have gifts. They're also old enough (8 and almost 6) where they know the situation, and are just thankful that their Daddy is home.

Yes, this is going to be a poor Christmas...but in our house, we've never made it all about the gifts anyway.

 

[BeanMak]

If your son is 2 years old this year, the idea of presents under the tree is for your benefit, not his. Go to the dollar store and get crayons and coloring books. My 2 year old grandchild LOVES colored chalk, bubbles, colored markers. I made her a CD of music that I downloaded. She listens to that every night. Use your imagination. It is only as sad as you want to make it.
In our family we never exchanged mom and dad presents with all of the relatives. That was for us in the morning. How about asking to make a new tradition. The only presents opened will be from the relatives to each other and make a special time for you, your husband and your son!

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

I had the idea to go to the furniture store and get a washer or dryer box, cut a few silly- shaped windows in it, spray paint it with bright colors, and put some colorful stickers on it and let it be his own "clubhouse". I dunno, though. It sounds like I am being a tight wad, which I guess that I am. But all that would cost is a can of spray paint and a few stickers.

That's sounds like a cool idea.

 

[Brandlynn]

My husband and I even thought about moving all the furniture out of the living room except a couple kitchen chairs and a sheet with some pillows and blankets or sleeping bags. Pop some popcorn, get some snacks, have a movie night of Christmas movies and then have a "Christmas Campout" in the middle of the living room floor. He loves it when we are on the floor with him, so sleeping on the floor with him would probably be the grandest thing that, in his mind, could ever happen. Roll his dump truck that his Ya Ya is getting him back and forth, throw the ball around and catch it. Or, just chase him around and when we catch him, tickle him til he is laughing so hard that he is squeeling and then let him chase us and tickle us untill we "giggle". He also likes to get on our backs and ride the "horsey".

I don't know for sure how it will be, but I am glad that you all have helped give me ideas. I like them, and am thankful to you all for them.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Yeah, but i guess that it is a parents thing to want better for him than I had, but then again, what more could I have wanted? I had two parents who always loved me and cared for me. To this day, I know that if I just need a friend to talk to that they are there for me. I suppose that is all that matters.

I had the idea to go to the furniture store and get a washer or dryer box, cut a few silly- shaped windows in it, spray paint it with bright colors, and put some colorful stickers on it and let it be his own "clubhouse". I dunno, though. It sounds like I am being a tight wad, which I guess that I am. But all that would cost is a can of spray paint and a few stickers.

GREAT idea!

If your son is 2 years old this year, the idea of presents under the tree is for your benefit, not his. Go to the dollar store and get crayons and coloring books. My 2 year old grandchild LOVES colored chalk, bubbles, colored markers. I made her a CD of music that I downloaded. She listens to that every night. Use your imagination. It is only as sad as you want to make it.

These are great ideas, too. Another really cool "gift" is bubble wrap - the kind with the giant bubbles. He can paint with it, pop it (my boys used to love when I would put it on the hallway tile and let them run across it ), and even color it with markers.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

My husband and I even thought about moving all the furniture out of the living room except a couple kitchen chairs and a sheet with some pillows and blankets or sleeping bags. Pop some popcorn, get some snacks, have a movie night of Christmas movies and then have a "Christmas Campout" in the middle of the living room floor. He loves it when we are on the floor with him, so sleeping on the floor with him would probably be the grandest thing that, in his mind, could ever happen. Roll his dump truck that his Ya Ya is getting him back and forth, throw the ball around and catch it. Or, just chase him around and when we catch him, tickle him til he is laughing so hard that he is squeeling and then let him chase us and tickle us untill we "giggle". He also likes to get on our backs and ride the "horsey".

I don't know for sure how it will be, but I am glad that you all have helped give me ideas. I like them, and am thankful to you all for them.

This sounds like the best Christmas present you could give your son

Like you, when HRH was 2 we were in a similar situation. What we did was do activities with her to where she wasn't even looking for anything else. At one point dh painted his face green with face paint and I dressed HRH as a "warring angel" - she did all the rest with her sword (a kitchen paper towel roll) and a mighty roar whilst chasing her dad around the house. Bedtime was early that day because she was so tired.

This year she is older but more considerate and appreciative of the fact that we are not as 'flushed' as last year. On Christmas day she said to me that she'd be happy to take a walk in the park so that we both can feed the birds by the lake their Christmas dinner specially made by her (bread pieces).

You sound like such a precious and caring mom and I know that your son will have a very special and joyous Christmas by the mere fact that both his parents love him so very much.

 

[Brandlynn]

Thank you. This is the best thing that I have had today, and the sweetest thing that has ever been said to me. I really do appreciate it. Today was Thanksgiving here in the states, and we went to my Grandma's house. She is 88. She has been saving the spools from the thread that she quilts with. She gave them to him, and he sat for about two hours sitting there on the floor playing with them. He loved it, and so did she. He is zombied out in his daddy's arms right now. He just played and played and played. He is so tired. I can see that the biggest thing is just being with us. I may just get my Grandma to save more spools from thread, wrap them up and give them to him. lol

He is so sweet. If only I could show him off to the world. He is so angelic when he sleeps.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Thank you. This is the best thing that I have had today, and the sweetest thing that has ever been said to me. I really do appreciate it. Today was Thanksgiving here in the states, and we went to my Grandma's house. She is 88. She has been saving the spools from the thread that she quilts with. She gave them to him, and he sat for about two hours sitting there on the floor playing with them. He loved it, and so did she. He is zombied out in his daddy's arms right now. He just played and played and played. He is so tired. I can see that the biggest thing is just being with us. I may just get my Grandma to save more spools from thread, wrap them up and give them to him. lol

He is so sweet. If only I could show him off to the world. He is so angelic when he sleeps.

Maybe you could paint them primary colors and make them look like colored building blocks.

 

[Brandlynn]

Good idea.

 

[illudium_phosdex]

I'm not sure how close you are to a newspaper office but the one here and the one in the town I used to live in would give the ends of the rolls of newspaper away free or at most 50 cents. There's about 20 to 50 feet of paper that apparently the newspaper can't use. I've given several to my kids for drawing paper. They love it because they can roll it out and make HUGE pictures. And when they get done, there's an awesome tube (really thick) for running hot wheels through. It may be worth checking into.

 

[GuitarMia05]

Yeah, but i guess that it is a parents thing to want better for him than I had, but then again, what more could I have wanted? I had two parents who always loved me and cared for me. To this day, I know that if I just need a friend to talk to that they are there for me. I suppose that is all that matters.

I had the idea to go to the furniture store and get a washer or dryer box, cut a few silly- shaped windows in it, spray paint it with bright colors, and put some colorful stickers on it and let it be his own "clubhouse". I dunno, though. It sounds like I am being a tight wad, which I guess that I am. But all that would cost is a can of spray paint and a few stickers.

I actually really like that idea. My son will be turning one a few days after Christmas this year -- he loves boxes and wrapping paper (it doesn't take much to please him apparently!), and since I'm on a SUPER tight budget it's perfect for what I need. You Rock!! thanks!!

 

[Johnnz]

Go with being creative. Christmas is not about buying but celebration. we can do that in many ways and make it memorable for a child.


John
NZ

 

[immersedingrace]

This is made out of cardboard:

Recycled Cardboard Toy Kitchen : Daily source of DIY craft projects and inspiration, patterns, how-tos | Craftzine.com

This might give you some inspiration. recycled cardboard fort - Google Search

You're likely to get some ideas on WHAT to make, if not HOW to make something out of cardboard. If anyone asks and you don't feel like telling them it's none of their business, you can tell them you're doing your part to save the environment Whatever you choose, get some contact paper at the dollar store or buy some paint.

Could you possibly sign up for toys for tots in your area? It may not be too late.

http://blog.craftzine.com/archive/2007/10/recycled_cardboard_toy_kitchen.html

 

[heart of peace]

I think it's important to learn how to make lemonade when life hands you lemons and to learn how to focus on the good things instead of fixating on the struggles. You mentioned that he will open presents on Christmas day from his grandparents, which means he will experience the fun of unwrapping presents just like his cousins (yay). And as it has been discussed in this thread you can make cheap/free creative presents that he will enjoy and will likely bring some of the most warmest memories for you in years to come. It's important to learn how to think more positively even in the midst of challenging circumstances and this is something all children should learn to do in life.

 

[timothyroann]

Read my post on Santa. This is the very thing I am talking about

 

[Spirit_Star]

I am truly sorry for your finically hardship. You do not need a lot of gifts or any to make your sons Christmas good. Christmas is about being with family and loved ones about remembering Christ. Maybe you could contact a church or something like Toys for Tots there are many that have things where they give gifts to those who are down on their luck. Try and be thankful for what you have your son has a home; many children do not have that. He has parents who clearly love him dearly and take care of him the best they can. Your son has food in his stomach and cloths on his back. Bills need to be paid first you all made the wise choice. Would you have rather given your son a lot of Christmas gifts and then be living in a homeless shelter (or worse on the streets) because you spent your rent money on presents. We all go through bumps in the road there will be Christmases where you all will have more money.

Frankly I think you have some good ideas, movie night/camp out on the floor I think that would be very nice to do, clubhouse made out of an old box. Perhaps you could read some Christmas books. Drive around and see Christmas lights. If you like to bake , bake cookies/cake from scratch with your son. Maybe you can make some puppets and put on a play. Put on a little concert with instruments you can make from things around your home pots or old coffee cans and wooden spoons can be drums, glasses filled with water/spoon, etc. Doesn't have to be even be good music or anything just about having fun/good time. Your son is only 2 years old much easier to please a younger child.

Remember the Lord was poor too.

– maybe this will give you some ideas
Homemade Gifts for Kids - Free and Cheap Kids' Gifts

http://www.ehow.com/how_4422082_make-musical-instruments-household-items.html