Thanks.
That's actually really helpful. I am back into prayer even though its not a healthy dose. Spiritually I'm starving to death. I'm working on it though. I'm easily distracted and if I failed to take care of my husband in all the right ways and thats not just sexually but in every way well our marriage would fall apart or start to. I feel like being saved isn't just a "Get out of Hell free" card. I don't wanna say "I can sleep in late on Sundays because I am saved" So I actually feel a little remorseful that I've been bummed out lately.
Its good that you're getting back into prayer. Prayer and scripture reading are very important, even though I know from personal experience sometimes its like pulling teeth.
I believe that physical life is often allegorical for spiritual life. What you find in the physical is that when you eat right and exercise, you feel really good, you have lots of energy and it is totally worth it. Yet, it is very easy to slip up for a bit, and once you stop eating right, very soon you lose the desire to eat right. Even though you know you will feel better and be better if you do eat right, it still becomes very difficult to make yourself do it.
Likewise with exercising. When you first start its the hardest. You get sore, and it doesn't feel good, but if you stick with it for a bit, soon you start to feel better and you don't get sore any more etc.
Thats what spiritual life is like as well. When you are doing the right things, you feel much better and they are very enjoyable to do, you get great results. But when you stop, it very quickly becomes difficult to start again.
One of the statements of scripture that I take the most solace in is "a righteous man is he that falls seven times and seven times gets up." (paraphrased). I believe its in the proverbs if memory serves.
I want my failures to be grevious to me, lest I should begin to accept them and be comfortable with them, but we must always strive to not let guilt and condemnation drive us to hiding from God. Conviction, but not condemnation.
Here is something you might find useful for praying.
I have used it and found it to be very good for me. I always used to and still sometimes have great difficulty praying for any length of time without running out of things to say and giving up. This is a technique that helped me get around that and gave some structure to my prayers. I got the idea from the website of a man named David Torkington.
Its a memory device based off the latin words Pater Noster, which means "our Father" (the first words of the Lord's prayer). Each letter stands for a thing you do during prayer.
P = Presence, First you think about the fact that you are in the presence of God. Believers are the temple of the Holy Spirit so we always carry the presence of God with us, but we often conceal it and hide it in our spirit because we don't think about it and we don't allow it to affect us. So begin be placing yourself in that presence.
A = Adoration, as you begin to understand that you are in the presence of God, and what that means, move into adoration of God. This is like gazing lovingly and amazedly, wondering at God's awsomeness.
T = Thanksgiving. It is very important to be thankful. The reality is that there is so much that we all take for granted all the time. Life, the creation, our health, our families, every little thing in life. Take some time to just give thanks for everything you can think of.
E = Examination. Here you examine your conscience and ask God to show you if there are things in your life of which you need to repent and things you need to change. Ask God what in your life is keeping Him out, what is hindering your relationship.
R = Repentance. When you have examined your conscience and asked God to search you, as David did in the psalms, then repent of the things that you see and the things God points out.
N = Needs. Here you begin to pray for your needs and the needs of others. Remember that prayer has no limitations because God has no limitations. To him time, distance, there is nothing that is a barrier to him.
Especially focus on praying for the needs of others, and putting the needs of others ahead of your own. When you are focused on others, it helps you forget yourself for a bit.
O = Offering. Paul tells us to offer ourselves as living sacrifices to God through Christ.
S = Silence. At this point just stop talking, and still your mind. As the word says, be still and know that I am God. It can be very difficult to quiet the mind and so it will probably take practice. But the idea is simply to sit and listen and wait on God.
T = Transformation. As we wait and listen our goal is to experience more of God, to be wrapped in his presence and love. Not for the sake of feeling, or experiences, not for ourselves, but simply for God. Here the T is a reminder to pray for the transformation that God desires of us. His love in us, his life in us transforming us into the people He has always intended us to be.
E = Evalutation. Evaluate the coming day and prepare yourself to live what you have been praying in what you will encounter.
R = Resolutions. Here you resolve to do anything that God may have pointed out to you. Even if it seems like a small step, or something insignificant, resolve to do it, and to do it in love, "as unto the Lord".
