M
MaddieD
Guest
About a year ago, I left the charismatic church. I won't go into detail unless someone requests that I do, but in summary the "signs and wonders" got a little too bizarre for me, and sent me in search of truth. Around that same time, my thinking started to change, and I realized that the bible might actually mean what it says, and it might actually be as simple as that. So, I got to wondering, if I've been a Christian for so many years, why do I not have the fruits of the Spirit, particularly joy? The bible seems to say that I should, and if the bible means what it says, than something is wrong here. I could see that the bible paints a picture of what a Christian should be like, and I knew that I was definitely not that person, and I was pretty sure that I had come into contact with few, if any, people who are. After that, through an amazing string of events, the Lord showed me that I need to read the BIBLE in order to "grow fruit" and receive inner healing, etc. (I previously sought these things through alter calls and other wrong ideas). I know that this probably sounds very basic, but you need to understand that I was very deceived and drowning in false teachings.
Immediately after that, many months of completely awful events happened in my life, one right after another, and they are continuing to happen. Again, I won't go into detail unless someone is interested, but I will say that I hit "rock bottom". Then, just when I thought I couldn't get any lower, my father passed away very suddenly at only 56 years of age (I'm 28), a trauma that I couldn't have imagined facing at this stage in my life, even if I was at my best.
The day after my father passed, my family entered what would be 5 (and counting) straight weeks of illness. One of us would get better, and another would come down with something different and pass it along. We've gone through colds, sinus infections, stomach bug's, etc. and things around here have just been completely miserable while we try to grieve and move on with our lives.
I was in the emergency room last night due to some complications that I'm having with my current sinus infection, feeling completely miserable, and I started to notice the other people around me who were also suffering, some with problems much worse than mine in that moment. By the time I got home, I was still complaining about how miserable my life has been lately, and it just suddenly hit me that I was being ridiculous! I have a million things to be grateful for! I found myself saying "at least there isn't anything seriously wrong with me" and "at least I was able to leave the hospital tonight", and thinking about how good it was to be home. That might not sound like much, but I can assure you, it's an improvement for me. It was actually a quite significant improvement, because I really meant it. I had said things like that in the past, but only because I was trying to apply some sort of a formula to the concept of joy. It didn't come from my heart.
Today, even though I'm still sick and grieving and going through a handful of other very difficult things, I feel kinda good! I think that I'm actually starting to understand the concept of joy.
Anyway, I posted this not only to share, but also to ask if anyone can help me to expand upon what I've already began to learn here. I've gone through a lot in the last year, and I'd really like to take something away from it, but as a "baby Christian" I could use some help.
One specific question comes to mind when it comes to the fruit of the Spirit (joy in particular): I see that the power of God is in the bible, and that reading it more has led to a change in my attitude and thinking, and that it's already starting to spill over into my character. But HOW? How did this happen? Is it just simply a miracle that I could actually think and act in a less awful manner? Or does the bible go into more detail about this?
Thanks so much everyone!
(and FYI I have joined the reformed faith, still looking for a church, but I'm attending a bible study that uses R.C. Sproul's teaching materials)
Immediately after that, many months of completely awful events happened in my life, one right after another, and they are continuing to happen. Again, I won't go into detail unless someone is interested, but I will say that I hit "rock bottom". Then, just when I thought I couldn't get any lower, my father passed away very suddenly at only 56 years of age (I'm 28), a trauma that I couldn't have imagined facing at this stage in my life, even if I was at my best.
The day after my father passed, my family entered what would be 5 (and counting) straight weeks of illness. One of us would get better, and another would come down with something different and pass it along. We've gone through colds, sinus infections, stomach bug's, etc. and things around here have just been completely miserable while we try to grieve and move on with our lives.
I was in the emergency room last night due to some complications that I'm having with my current sinus infection, feeling completely miserable, and I started to notice the other people around me who were also suffering, some with problems much worse than mine in that moment. By the time I got home, I was still complaining about how miserable my life has been lately, and it just suddenly hit me that I was being ridiculous! I have a million things to be grateful for! I found myself saying "at least there isn't anything seriously wrong with me" and "at least I was able to leave the hospital tonight", and thinking about how good it was to be home. That might not sound like much, but I can assure you, it's an improvement for me. It was actually a quite significant improvement, because I really meant it. I had said things like that in the past, but only because I was trying to apply some sort of a formula to the concept of joy. It didn't come from my heart.
Today, even though I'm still sick and grieving and going through a handful of other very difficult things, I feel kinda good! I think that I'm actually starting to understand the concept of joy.
Anyway, I posted this not only to share, but also to ask if anyone can help me to expand upon what I've already began to learn here. I've gone through a lot in the last year, and I'd really like to take something away from it, but as a "baby Christian" I could use some help.
One specific question comes to mind when it comes to the fruit of the Spirit (joy in particular): I see that the power of God is in the bible, and that reading it more has led to a change in my attitude and thinking, and that it's already starting to spill over into my character. But HOW? How did this happen? Is it just simply a miracle that I could actually think and act in a less awful manner? Or does the bible go into more detail about this?
Thanks so much everyone!
(and FYI I have joined the reformed faith, still looking for a church, but I'm attending a bible study that uses R.C. Sproul's teaching materials)
