jokes galour all from www.praise.com/jokes

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]A little boy opened the big family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]“Mama, look what I found!” the boy called out. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]“What do you have, dear?” she asked. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]With astonishment in his voice, the young man replied, “I think it’s Adam’s suit!” [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]

boss dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes," came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there anyone else there in your house?" the boss asked the child. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the Boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy," whispered the child. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"Busy doing what?" asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman," whispered the child. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]In an awed hushed voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Still whispering, the young voice replied, along with a muffled giggle: "Me." [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]

little boy wrote a letter to God, asking him for $100. He addressed to envelope "God", put his return address on it, and dropped it in the corner mailbox. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The postmaster thought this was such a nice gesture from a young child and decided to sent this letter on to President Bush. President Bush was so touched by the little boy's sincerity that he told his secretary to send the boy $5. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Upon receiving the money, the boy wrote the following thank you letter: [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"Dear God- Thank you for the money. I noticed you sent it through Washington D.C. and of course, they deducted $95. Love, Joey" [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica] bad little boy was asking his mom for a bike. [/font] [font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]She said, "Why should you get a bike? You are so bad!" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]He said, "because I want one. I'll be good from now on." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"Now you know that's not true. You will be back putting tacks in your teachers chair right after you ride your new bike to school. I think you should go to your room and think about that." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]He did and the mother came to check on him in an hour but he persisted that he deserved a bike and if his mom didn't get him one he would pray to Jesus and He would get it for him. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]This angered her even more. "Well, I see you haven't learned your lesson so you have to stay in here for another hour." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The boy said, "FINE! don't come in here for another hour I'll be praying." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The mother came to the room in an hour thinking surely the boy had thought of her reasons for not granting the boys wish. She was wrong and sencenced the boy to yet another hour in the boring, bare room. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The boy, seeing his mother unmoved, decided that his prayers weren't working so he put on his jacket, snuck out of his window and ran down to the church at the end of the street. in the front lawn was a small statue of Mary. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The boy snuck up and took the statue into his jacket and ran home as fast as he could lugging the heavy statue. He got back into his room and set the statue down. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]He got on his knees and put one arm around the virgin saying "I have your mother now." [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]

hildren were lined up in the cafeteria of a Christian school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. Someone had written a note and placed it next to the apples. It read, "Take only one, God is watching." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]One little boy wrote his own note and snuck it next to the cookies, "Take all you want, God is watching the apples." [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]

little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts." Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Later that day when the Evangelist and her husband were over for dinner. The Evangelist began to feel bad. Holding her head she said, "I have such a terrible headache!" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The little girl looked up at her giving her the sweetest smile that any little child could give. Then she said, [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!" [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]

father wanted to read the paper, but was being bothered by his little daughter, Susie. Finally, he took a sheet out of his magazine, on which was printed the map of the world. Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to Susie, and said, "Go into the other room and see if you can put this together." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]After a few minutes, Susie returned and handed him the map correctly fitted together. The father was very surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"Oh", she said, "on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got Jesus in His place, then the world came out all right." [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]

ne rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick. Suddenly, my son Matthew spoke up from his relaxed position in the front seat. "Mom, I'm thinking of something." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]This announcement usually meant he had been pondering some fact for a while and was now ready to expound all that his seven-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"What are you thinking?" I asked. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"The rain," he began, "is like sin. And the windshield wipers are like God, wiping our sins away." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]After the chill bumps raced up my arms, I was able to respond, "That's really good, Matthew." Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little boy take this revelation? [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]So I asked, "Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Matthew didn't hesitate one moment with his answer. "We keep on sinning and God just keeps on forgiving us." [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]

here was one little boy that was quite a trouble maker at a Private Christian Public School. One day he frustrated the teacher so far that he was sent to the Dean's Office. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Once getting there he was issued into the main chamber where sat the dean behind his large desk. The Dean, having dealt with the boy before, tried a new approach. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]He stood up and asked the boy if he knew where God was. The Boy sunk into his seat. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Again the Dean asked, "Do you know where God is?" The boy's lip started to tremble. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The Dean raised his voice and asked a third time "Do you know where God is?" The boy's eyes started to dart left and right. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The Dean pounded his desk with his fist and yelled "Do you know where God is!?" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The little boy jumps to his feet and ran out of the office, out of the school and all the way home. When he got there, he went to his room and hid in his closet. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The little boy's sister toddles into the room and asks him "What's wrong?" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The little boy tells his sister "God is Missing and the Dean thinks that I stole Him!" [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]

kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she came to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied,. . . . "They will in a minute." [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]

four-year-old boy was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidise, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]There was a long silence. Then the son asked softly, "Daddy, are you talking to me?" [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica] pastor is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. [/font] [font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica] After watching the boys efforts for some time, the pastor moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]Crouching down to the child's level, the pastor smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]To which the boy replies, "Now we run!" [/font]

 

[someone_here]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]

ittle Rodney, 4 years old, walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, "Are you a Christian?" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"Yes." she replied. [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"Do you read your Bible every day?" [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]She nodded her head, "Yes." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]"Do you pray often?" the boy asked next, and again she answered, "Yes." [/font]

[font=verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica]With that he asked his final question,"Will you hold my quarter while I go swimming?" [/font]

 

[godisgr8]

LOL, these are great, very cute!

 

[TheMainException]

lol!!!!! so great!

 

[goldenviolet]

some of these are very cute.