• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
  • We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

Joke #58392423472 Code: Bwhahahahaa!

Sharky

Rockin dude!
Jul 5, 2002
5,302
177
Visit site
✟7,782.00
Faith
Christian
<H2>Atheist In Woods</H2>

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run faster still. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear... right on top of him... reaching for him with the left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!...."

Suddenly, time stopped. The bear froze in motion. The forest was ever so silent. Even the river ceased to move. As a brilliant ray of light emerged from the sky and shone upon the man, a powerful voice spoke to him, "You have denied my existence for all of these years; you teach others that I do not exist and you credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you now as a believer?"

The atheist blinked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to convert to a Christian after all these years, but could you instead make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice from above. The bright light disappeared. All of a sudden, life resumed around the man. The river ran again. The forest became alive once more with the gentle sounds of nature.

The bear stirred. Slowly, he lowered his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and graciously spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Lazarus Short
Originally posted by A Sheep
Where are the other "five billion, eight hundred and thirty nine million, two hundred and forty two thousand, three hundred and forty seven" jokes?

Yeah Sharky,

If they're even half as good as this one, I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to hear them.

&nbsp;

Patty
 
Upvote 0

JLovesUSo

Active Member
Aug 18, 2002
152
1
Houston, TX
Visit site
✟360.00
Faith
Christian
Nice one Sharky......I got one I heard the other day that was pretty funny:

A man was praying to God and He asked God "God, um....can I ask you a question?"

God answers, "yes, My son....ask away"

So the man asks God "God, what does a million years seem like to you?"

God answers, "My son, a million years to&nbsp;you is like a second to me..."

All the man can say is "Wow".&nbsp; And then He procedes and asks God "Um, Lord....can I ask another question?"&nbsp; To which God replies, "Of course My son".

So the man asks, "Um, so God, what is a million dollars like to you then?"

God answers, "A million dollars to you is like a penny to me -&nbsp;My son...."

So the man then asks God, "Um, Lord.......can I ask like 1 more question?"

God says, "Of course My son....."

The man asks, "God, can I....like.....um.....have a million dollars?"

And God says, "Of course My son, just a second......" :p
 
Upvote 0
I found this one on another website:



Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort
from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to
God's children.

After creating Heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve... We got
Forbidden Fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes WAY!"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering
why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and
was angry.&nbsp; "Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did Not!"

"DID so!"

"DID NOT!!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that
Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
 
Upvote 0

JagSayon

Active Member
Jun 16, 2002
371
2
✟823.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Originally posted by Patty
"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did Not!"

"DID so!"

"DID NOT!!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that
Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

LMAO! Brings back to childhood memories of tustling with your siblings eh?

JagSayon
 
Upvote 0