Jesus is the worst decision I ever made.

Grip Docility · May 15, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
I have the ability to do as I please? REally? I want to be free from the power of sin. Where is my ability? in Jesus? in the blood? in God? in rest? well, I have tried them all. Thanks for trying to help.

I’ve been no help... the only thing I’ve done is Love you and understood your words.

You will be in the prayers of my heart for a long time to come!

I sincerely mean this... I’ve been exactly where you are and in a pool of my own Tequila vomit to boot...

May God look out for you no matter how much you slap His Loving Hands away.

Aldebaran · May 15, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
Gods love means nothing. Hell is filled with people, and God knew it before he created anything. How is that love? Away with your scriptures. Not being mean, but they carry no weight in my heart anymore. You know what else the bible has many proofs of???Victory over the sin nature, victory over the world, the flesh and the devil....But even those scriptures are found to be lies to me, because they did not work. The cross did not break the power of sin at all. Periode. So being a child of god means nothing if I do not have the proof of that. and the proof is not in a book, the proof should be experienced in my life.

If you want proof, look at what so many people have overcome through their faith in Christ. Have you heard of Joni Eareckson Tada? She became a quadraplegic at an early age. She could have given up, but didn't. Her faith is in Christ, even though she's spent the majority of her life stuck in a wheelchair depending on others for everything.

Or how about this guy born without limbs: Watch: This Man Born Without Arms or Legs Has Shared His Faith With Millions | The Stream

Is your adversity any worse than theirs? I think the message that these people bring is that God's love is very much real, and does have real affect if you can look past your circumstances and trust in God.

Xavier Cane · May 15, 2018

Grip Docility said:
I’ve been no help... the only thing I’ve done is Love you and understood your words.

You will be in the prayers of my heart for a long time to come!

I sincerely mean this... I’ve been exactly where you are and in a pool of my own Tequila vomit to boot...

May God look out for you no matter how much you slap His Loving Hands away.

Thank you very much. I'll let you know how it works out lol.

ToBeLoved · May 15, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
Thank you. But I doubt your prayer will be answered. Heck, he doesn't answer mine. One thing is for sure, if god is real, he knows my heart, and he knows why I am frustrated, which is because he has not kept his so-called word. And that's that. But thanks for your prayers. You add one thing to it...Tell him(or her) to be sure to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt. No coincidences.

Sometimes I wonder if our idea of modern day prayer is somewhat messed up.

Lately on threads that pertain to prayer I have been reading how people pray to God and then sit back and wait for the answer. Seems like they are counting the weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds until they receive their answer.

I have beeen wondering about this. Do we give God our prayer requests in hope that He does them or is it an expectation that He will answer in a timely fashion, with a distinct yes or no. And how fast is ok?

Xavier Cane · May 15, 2018

Aldebaran said:
If you want proof, look at what so many people have overcome through their faith in Christ. Have you heard of Joni Eareckson Tada? She became a quadraplegic at an early age. She could have given up, but didn't. Her faith is in Christ, even though she's spent the majority of her life stuck in a wheelchair depending on others for everything.

Or how about this guy born without limbs: Watch: This Man Born Without Arms or Legs Has Shared His Faith With Millions | The Stream

Is your adversity any worse than theirs? I think the message that these people bring is that God's love is very much real, and does have real affect if you can look past your circumstances and trust in God.

I do not think you see the difference between me and those people. I not asking god for physical blessings on my body, I am asking him for spiritual blessings in my spirit...something that only God can do. A man born without arms and legs is not a sin. These situations are not the same as mine is. It's as if god refuses to take away my sin, the sin that tortures me, and the sin that I love. God wont take it, nore will he give me a heart of hatred for it. It is what it is. I want to stop, but the power to do so is not there. It's just not.

Grip Docility · May 15, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
Thank you very much. I'll let you know how it works out lol.

PM me and I’ll gladly give you my cell number.

Not kidding!

Life is a gift and even the darkest places have light.

As David said... no matter where he was... he knew the Almighty was there!

Grip Docility · May 15, 2018

ToBeLoved said:
Sometimes I wonder if our idea of modern day prayer is somewhat messed up.

Lately on threads that pertain to prayer I have been reading how people pray to God and then sit back and wait for the answer. Seems like they are counting the weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds until they receive their answer.

I have beeen wondering about this. Do we give God our prayer requests in hope that He does them or is it an expectation that He will answer in a timely fashion, with a distinct yes or no. And how fast is ok?

I’m not going to win the lottery? I just prayed for that!

You’ve ruined my day!

Xavier Cane · May 15, 2018

ToBeLoved said:
Sometimes I wonder if our idea of modern day prayer is somewhat messed up.

Lately on threads that pertain to prayer I have been reading how people pray to God and then sit back and wait for the answer. Seems like they are counting the weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds until they receive their answer.

I have beeen wondering about this. Do we give God our prayer requests in hope that He does them or is it an expectation that He will answer in a timely fashion, with a distinct yes or no. And how fast is ok?

I do not know. But as for me, I pray and just leave it there. I hope god will do it, but I leave it there. And that's how I pray. I trust he will, but there are still doubts. And soon, the doubts grow larger, because god fails to show up. people act like god is perfect, no he is not. if he were perfect, we would live in a perfect world. If God hates sin so much, why would he even allow it in the universe in the first place? Especially considering he can do anything. Just sounds foolish. I know I went off script, but it is what it is.

Xavier Cane · May 15, 2018

Grip Docility said:
I’m not going to win the lottery? I just prayed for that!

You’ve ruined my day!

LOL. That's funny.

Xavier Cane · May 15, 2018

Aldebaran said:
If you want proof, look at what so many people have overcome through their faith in Christ. Have you heard of Joni Eareckson Tada? She became a quadraplegic at an early age. She could have given up, but didn't. Her faith is in Christ, even though she's spent the majority of her life stuck in a wheelchair depending on others for everything.

Or how about this guy born without limbs: Watch: This Man Born Without Arms or Legs Has Shared His Faith With Millions | The Stream

Is your adversity any worse than theirs? I think the message that these people bring is that God's love is very much real, and does have real affect if you can look past your circumstances and trust in God.

Yeah, these stories have no effect on me. I've tried to gain faith by looking at the testimonies of others, but it is the end of the road for me.

Grip Docility · May 15, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
LOL. That's funny.

Without a sense of humor... life can suck!

I have to log off for now... but... I Love you Brother and count you my Brother no matter what!!!

All Love to you!

Xavier Cane · May 15, 2018

Grip Docility said:
Without a sense of humor... life can suck!

I have to log off for now... but... I Love you Brother and count you my Brother no matter what!!!

All Love to you!

Thank you. Have a good day! I hope you win tonight!

Aldebaran · May 15, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
I do not think you see the difference between me and those people. I not asking god for physical blessings on my body, I am asking him for spiritual blessings in my spirit...something that only God can do. A man born without arms and legs is not a sin. These situations are not the same as mine is. It's as if god refuses to take away my sin, the sin that tortures me, and the sin that I love. God wont take it, nore will he give me a heart of hatred for it. It is what it is. I want to stop, but the power to do so is not there. It's just not.

If the people I made reference to were basing their faith on the idea that God was going to give them a physical healing, they would have given up their faith long ago. The fact is that God is giving them the strength to overcome their difficulties.

As for your sin, which I believe you have mentioned is lust, it's naturally going to feel good. I have issues with anger, and it feels good and natural to give into it at the time. But afterwards I realize that it really isn't good at all. Lust makes us feel things that are pleasurable, but distorts our view of people. Anger makes us do things that feel good to do at the time, but leads to stress, destruction, and even death if carried out to its fullest extent. That's why we have to do OUR PART to resist those urges. Otherwise, I could get so mad at someone that I pull out a gun and shoot them. It would feel good and natural at the time, but that's why I can't let that feeling take over.

Xavier Cane said:
Yeah, these stories have no effect on me. I've tried to gain faith by looking at the testimonies of others, but it is the end of the road for me.

They aren't meant to cause you to gain faith, but rather to show you what God can do with those who have more reason than you to lose hope, although these examples could very well strengthen a person's faith.

Xavier Cane · May 15, 2018

Aldebaran said:
If the people I made reference to were basing their faith on the idea that God was going to give them a physical healing, they would have given up their faith long ago. The fact is that God is giving them the strength to overcome their difficulties.

As for your sin, which I believe you have mentioned is lust, it's naturally going to feel good. I have issues with anger, and it feels good and natural to give into it at the time. But afterwards I realize that it really isn't good at all. Lust makes us feel things that are pleasurable, but distorts our view of people. Anger makes us do things that feel good to do at the time, but leads to stress, destruction, and even death if carried out to its fullest extent. That's why we have to do OUR PART to resist those urges. Otherwise, I could get so mad at someone that I pull out a gun and shoot them. It would feel good and natural at the time, but that's why I can't let that feeling take over.

They aren't meant to cause you to gain faith, but rather to show you what God can do with those who have more reason than you to lose hope, although these examples could very well strengthen a person's faith.

Its not just lust...is a whole list of 20. I am not going to name them. I have no level of resistance to any of them. So please. just stop.

Aldebaran · May 15, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
Its not just lust...is a whole list of 20. I am not going to name them. I have no level of resistance to any of them. So please. just stop.

You must have some level of resistance or you'd be in prison by now. Have you lusted after a woman and not been able to restrain yourself at all? If you were to carry the temptation to its full conclusion, you would have ended up forcing her to have sex with you. The full conclusion of anger would ultimately be murder. The full conclusion of greed or envy would be to steal everything you want.

Xavier Cane · May 15, 2018

Aldebaran said:
You must have some level of resistance or you'd be in prison by now. Have you lusted after a woman and not been able to restrain yourself at all? If you were to carry the temptation to its full conclusion, you would have ended up forcing her to have sex with you. The full conclusion of anger would ultimately be murder. The full conclusion of greed or envy would be to steal everything you want.

Like I said before, I can overcome maybe once a day, but then I fall. My resistance always gets worn down. Always. That's why I say God does not help me....at all. It's Bull. I'm not into rape, just sexing other women who arent my wife, and there is no resistance to that. So there is no power in my heart. I only wanted to be free, now I want freedom from god...well. your god.

Xavier Cane · May 15, 2018

This thread is over.

Aldebaran · May 15, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
Like I said before, I can overcome maybe once a day, but then I fall. My resistance always gets worn down. Always. That's why I say God does not help me....at all. It's Bull. I'm not into rape, just sexing other women who arent my wife, and there is no resistance to that. So there is no power in my heart. I only wanted to be free, now I want freedom from god...well. your god.

Ok, well you've given us a more specific example of what you're up against. One thing you could do is have your phone block the women you are sexting. You could even have someone else set the password for the block so you couldn't undo it. It's not much different from someone who is an alcoholic who can't resist the temptation to drink. The first thing to do is to stay away from the source of the temptation, which could be the idea of going into a bar. In your case, it would be blocking access to those you are sexting. Someone might say that you should get rid of your phone, but that wouldn't be realistic.

Xavier Cane · May 15, 2018

Aldebaran said:
Ok, well you've given us a more specific example of what you're up against. One thing you could do is have your phone block the women you are sexting. You could even have someone else set the password for the block so you couldn't undo it. It's not much different from someone who is an alcoholic who can't resist the temptation to drink. The first thing to do is to stay away from the source of the temptation, which could be the idea of going into a bar. In your case, it would be blocking access to those you are sexting. Someone might say that you should get rid of your phone, but that wouldn't be realistic.

Did I say sexting? I meant sexing...like....you know...sex. And putting roadblocks in the way only makes me find ways around it. Dude...there is no life in jesus for me...or anyone like me. the bible only saves people who believe the lies. Well, I tried to believe the lies, but the lies revealed themselves to be lies indeed because they were untrue. I found them to be untrue because I tried the spirit indeed. The spirit of the bible is false. I chose to not live my life by presumption any longer.

klutedavid · May 15, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.

You remind me of someone I once knew.

Romans 7
19 For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.

Romans 7:24
Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?

I keep preaching to this guy that he must be sin free, and he never listens. He keeps practicing the very sins I told him not to commit. He keeps telling me that the death and resurrection of Jesus, has no power over his life.

Jesus is the worst decision I ever made.

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