Jealousy???

[favoredbyGod]

My boyfriend and I have a great relationship. We discuss engagement and marriage often and we know that we want to be together forever, however we are both waiting to complete grad school before taking this step.

Problem is again---my boyfriend's mother. I have prayed about the situation but it only has worsened. I have not seen her, but her being my mother-in-law is a dreadful thought.

This lady has poisoned so many of their family members mind about me and has made up lies on me for no reason. I have not ever had any contact with her other than meeting her for 20 SECONDS and even before then she decided that she did not like me, for no reason at all.

Apparently, she does not want my boyfriend to be with me, she wants him to be with a friend of his that is not doing nothing in particular but making babies with different men. I am confused??? I would think that as his mother she would want the BEST potential candidate for her son.
Someone that is saved, educated, caring, etc....

His mother is putting a strain on both him and I because of her pure hatred for me. She has even gone as far as pulling a gun out on him and telling him that she would kill him and wouldn't serve a day in jail bc she is a minister.

It's obvious that the lady has a few screws loose. It's hard to be civil to someone cursing you, calling you out of your names and she is even threatning to cut her son out of her life.

I don't know what I should do in this situation? I dont want to stop seeing my boyfriend because I love him dearly and that would give her complete satisfaction knowing that she ran me off.


Any advice????

 

[sweaterpoorlyknit]

Wow, I don't even know how I would handle that... I'm blessed to have his mom love me- maybe too much.

But with that, don't let it be such a strain on your relationship. If she's obviously being unreasonable then it's going to be impossible to reason with her. Just kill her with kindness. That's always the way to handle situations where someone dislikes a person without call to, in my opinion.

She's probably just going through that phase where the child is becoming an adult.. my mom has been acting pretty crazy lately and I'm positive it's because of my brother moving out and me going to college.

What's your boyfriend doing about it?

 

[sweaterpoorlyknit]

Wow, I don't even know how I would handle that... I'm blessed to have his mom love me- maybe too much.

But with that, don't let it be such a strain on your relationship. If she's obviously being unreasonable then it's going to be impossible to reason with her. Just kill her with kindness. That's always the way to handle situations where someone dislikes a person without call to, in my opinion.

She's probably just going through that phase where the child is becoming an adult.. my mom has been acting pretty crazy lately and I'm positive it's because of my brother moving out and me going to college.

What's your boyfriend doing about it?

 

[LoisGriffin]

Wow if she is pulling a gun on him he should call the police.

She sounds very disturbed. That sort of behaviour is not normal.

How can someone threatening to kill their son be a minister? Whats her church like?

 

[LoisGriffin]

Wow if she is pulling a gun on him he should call the police.

She sounds very disturbed. That sort of behaviour is not normal.

How can someone threatening to kill their son be a minister? Whats her church like?

 

[unkern]

A while back I had a 2 year relationship with a girl who I thought I was going to marry, Her mother didnt like me and she never stood up for me. It didnt work out mostly because of that. It will be very hard to have a mom in the picture and full of hate for you, and that may be the butt of most arguments. If he can stand up to her and tell her that he loves you and that if she doesnt not shape up she will lose her son forever, it may be able to help her realize. Doing this will put alot of the confidence in the marriage and strengthen the 2 of you.

 

[Bootstrap]

This situation worries me.

I can't imagine you'll ever have a relationship where you can trust her or even not be afraid of her. What kind of relationship does he have with her?

My ex's parents both moved across the country to get away from her mother's family, whose father was particularly toxic. If you do get married, and she's that toxic, I would seriously consider that. But I'd also look carefully at his relationship to her and whether this would make sense for him.

If it were me, the need to maintain a relationship with a woman like that would be a deal breaker, at least if we had to live anywhere close. Can you ever imagine not worrying about her?

Jonathan

 

[favoredbyGod]

My boyfriend defends me and that's alot of the time why they argue.

His mother has a weird relationship even with his sister(s) husband(s) which are her son-in-laws, matter of fact she is banned from their house all together and I see why.

My bf and his mother inherited a house in the area (they just recently moved here together) to live in the house and they have to wait a year until they can sell the house pertaining to the will. So they are forced to live together until then.

She is so manipulating and she doesn't want him to be with me for no apparent reason, he has endured verbal, emotional and other abuse bc of our relationship.

Its apparent that the lady has some issues and I find it impossible to be nice to her because she doesnt want me near her property and threatens me with restraining orders- all for NO reason!! For God sakes I have never talked to her but for 20 seconds and I just introduced myself and told her that I was happy to meet her and off of that-----SATAN emerged!

I really want to be with my bf forever, but I am unsure of how to handle the situation with this crazy lady.....He says that his mom is a bully and I have never been the one to back down from confrontations, but if I am faced with this forever, how do I confront the situation?

 

[Blank123]

honestly if that were my mother i'd call the cops on her and have her hospitalized. she needs some serious help.

 

[favoredbyGod]

He admits that she needs serious help, but she's so manipulative and she thinks that bc she is a minister that no one would believe him.

She has such a manipulative spirit.

 

[Blank123]

i'm assuming his sister would back him up, right? if her kids all stand together with the same story and sought the courts help in the matter (and it sounds like legal help might be necessary in a situation like this since she is a danger to others at least if not immediately to herself) then i'm not sure how she could really weasle her way out of it.

tell him to record her irrational behaviour if he feels he needs more proof.

 

[favoredbyGod]

I do feel like slapping her.......everyday, especially now since she has offically turned my boyfriend's pastor and church against him thru spreading lies and making up false information about me. These people don't know me and I have met 1 or 2 of his church family members and that explains the strange looks that they give me. They are believing his mother---and she is slowly turning everyone in his life against him and against me.

How can you have pure hatred for a person you dont know? HOW LONG IS THIS SUPPOSED TO LAST?

 

[The Nihilist]

How old are y'all, if you don't mind my asking?

 

[favoredbyGod]

Mid 20's

 

[Bootstrap]

I do feel like slapping her.......everyday, especially now since she has offically turned my boyfriend's pastor and church against him thru spreading lies and making up false information about me. These people don't know me and I have met 1 or 2 of his church family members and that explains the strange looks that they give me. They are believing his mother---and she is slowly turning everyone in his life against him and against me.

How can you have pure hatred for a person you dont know? HOW LONG IS THIS SUPPOSED TO LAST?

OK, please discard this advice if it's not useful. I'd like to share a gut feeling that may or may not be the right thing to do:

I would be very surprised if you can make her change. I would find some way to run from the situation, with or without the boyfriend.

Apologies if this is unhelpful.

Jonathan