Jealousy Is Making Me Insecure In This Relationship..?

[nb408]

I have a girlfriend who lives in the heart of the city, while I'm living 2 hours away in the middle of nowhere... I'm going to make this fast and just name the things that make me insecure about us.. She has a full time job that pays more than double what I get, She has her college degree and was valedictorian at her school, she's going to start leading a bible study for middle schoolers, teach a leadership program, and take a 7 week getting closer to God seminar for church. She has tons of friends, countless opportunities etc..

How is she going to have any time for me now? And why does she even like me? I would absolutely love to take a 7 week course for church or do something to serve the church. They don't offer these types of things here. It's like these things just come to her, and even if I search for them I can't find them. It makes me insecure because here I am wanting to do things and wanting something for myself. Yet it just comes to her.. Not only that but if i'm doing nothing; all I'm going to think about is when I can see her again. Which would just push her away, I don;t want to become dependent on her.. But here I am envious and insecure, I should be happy for her. But instead I see it as a sign of her leaving me..

 

[Dan the deacon]

So you are jealous of her work for the Lord. The Lord should always come before you. If you.desire more time with her then join her. Become a part of her ministry rather than one jealous of it.

 

[messianist]

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

 

[Call me Nic]

I have a girlfriend who lives in the heart of the city, while I'm living 2 hours away in the middle of nowhere... I'm going to make this fast and just name the things that make me insecure about us.. She has a full time job that pays more than double what I get, She has her college degree and was valedictorian at her school, she's going to start leading a bible study for middle schoolers, teach a leadership program, and take a 7 week getting closer to God seminar for church. She has tons of friends, countless opportunities etc..

How is she going to have any time for me now? And why does she even like me? I would absolutely love to take a 7 week course for church or do something to serve the church. They don't offer these types of things here. It's like these things just come to her, and even if I search for them I can't find them. It makes me insecure because here I am wanting to do things and wanting something for myself. Yet it just comes to her.. Not only that but if i'm doing nothing; all I'm going to think about is when I can see her again. Which would just push her away, I don;t want to become dependent on her.. But here I am envious and insecure, I should be happy for her. But instead I see it as a sign of her leaving me..

I struggled with this for a time when I was dating my wife. Here's what I learned: be happy for her and rejoice over the portion she has of the Lord, and the work he has given her to do. Easier said than done, I know, but cease not to pray unto God for deliverance from those feelings, which do not edify you at all, but rather will end driving you crazy and perhaps will inhibit her work for God; and then you would act as an enemy towards the kingdom of God.

Now, this feeling that you're feeling is not altogether uncommon: it is founded in the idea that a man wants to be the provider and leader of his family, and desires to be successful and respected. Let me suggest to you that this is a great opportunity, both for you and her: think about it like this: the Lord will give you work to do as much as you are able, so continue to pray for that and the opportunity to glorify him, to grow in him, and to be apart of him. This will do two things: your girlfriend will see the incredible growth that you are undergoing, the change, and will be drawn to you as a result, and you will be satisfied in the Lord, and not in her. She must always be below the Lord in your heart, and perhaps God is using this situation to teach you that. Therefore, pray and surrender to God this truth and work against this temptation through all faith and patience. This is indeed a trial, and could make or break you: don't let it break you. Fixate your eyes upon Jesus, and love unconditionally, no matter how difficult it seems, and the rest will fall into place as it needs to.

If it were the opposite and she was involved in nothing, not seeking after the Lord, nor desiring to do any work, you would be just as upset, except from a different standpoint (trust me, I know first hand). I would suggest to admire her zeal and desire to the Lord, especially now in the formative time of your relationship, because let me be honest with you: her zeal may not last forever, nor her momentum. The Lord often times works by making the last first, and the first last; not just in zeal, but in honor, and in standing.

So, be glad for the moment that God has provided you a godly woman in your life, learn her example, but keep your eyes upon God and all will work itself out according to his good pleasure.