Jealousy and your thoughts?

[looksgood]

Many times I hear women say jealousy is not good. They say it is imature and so on. So I thought I would post and see what those here thought of it?

Personaly I think it is a good thing. I can't see how it is wrong when it comes to relationships. I think it is good for a man to be jealous for his girl. And vise versa. It causes him to fight for her. It should also show the love involved.

Finaly I should say that I believe God INTENDS us to be such! He said love as christ loved. And just so you know, God is jelous for us. I would be honored if someone were jealous for me. Here are some verses to think of:
Deuteronomy 4
24 For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.

Ephesians 5
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

As God loved us, we men are to love our wives. And may I say that before we were betroved to Him He was jealous for us. If we are to be as God, should we not be jealous?! I am convinsed this "Jealousy is bad" thought came from the world and NOT God.

Your thoughts?

 

[Koop]

I feel jelousy is bad in the sense that we should trust those we are with whole heartedly. If they are undeseving of our trust by their actions (not by suspition or asumption) jelousy is very much warented i feel for the reasons you have given. Jelousy is a sign of love. It is simply an expression of the pain involved with a loss of trust in one you love. But again i do say it is bad because we should first and foremost give those that we love the trust they deserve. Only after they have rightfully lost that trust is jelousy warented. It is a vicious and sometimes very destructive emotion. To take it to the next step, being jelous and acting in jelousy are two totaly diffrent things and acting out of jelousy is not acting out of love. And that is very wrong. To feel the emotion is normal, but to act on it is not right. these are the thoughts of a young man who has been around the block just a few times. But I still feel rather assured in this stance.

 

[IslandBreeze]

I don't believe that jealousy has any place in a Christian marriage. I believe that you should be committed and concerned for your spouse, but I do not believe you should be jealous. Jealousy evokes many angry, hateful emotions--none of which are good. The Bible verses you speak of with God being a jealous God are not in context. God is not hateful, not angry, which is what jealousy breeds out of humans. God wants us to be consumed by Him, He wants us to cry out to Him, and ache for Him. But he's not going to turn his back and lash out on us with anger and bitterness if we don't devote 100% of our affection to him (and let's face it; none of us do). God is about love and forgiveness, and THAT is what a Christian marriage should be about--not looking over our shoulder to see who's bigger or better than we are.

 

[looksgood]

Is it really jealousy that you are talking about then? Trust is good and needed. But jealousy does not mean a lack of trust. It means a desire to keep.

 

[IslandBreeze]

I disagree. The meanness and spitefulness that comes out of jealousy is not Biblical. And if you have to get mean and nasty to keep something, why on earth would you think that something was yours to have in the first place?

 

[looksgood]

Jealousy evokes many angry, hateful emotions--none of which are good. The Bible verses you speak of with God being a jealous God are not in context. God is not hateful, not angry, which is what jealousy breeds out of humans. God wants us to be consumed by Him, He wants us to cry out to Him, and ache for Him. But he's not going to turn his back and lash out on us with anger and bitterness if we don't devote 100% of our affection to him (and let's face it; none of us do).

Just some things about that little out of context verse for you. I feel I should bring others to your attention.

Exodus 20
5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
Deuteronomy 6
15 (For the LORD thy God is a jealous God among you) lest the anger of the LORD thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth.
Deuteronomy 29
20 The LORD will not spare him, but then the anger of the LORD and his jealousy shall smoke against that man, and all the curses that are written in this book shall lie upon him, and the LORD shall blot out his name from under heaven.
Ezekiel 16
38 And I will judge thee, as women that break wedlock and shed blood are judged; and I will give thee blood in fury and jealousy.
Zechariah 8
1 Again the word of the LORD of hosts came to me, saying,
2 Thus saith the LORD of hosts; I was jealous for Zion with great jealousy, and I was jealous for her with great fury.

So would you say God is un unjust and unloving God? He acted out of jealousy after all.

And by the way, as far as this quote goes

And if you have to get mean and nasty to keep something, why on earth would you think that something was yours to have in the first place?

Does God not join two together? Do vows not include the words To have and to hold for as long as you shall live?

Godly anger is not evil.

 

[IslandBreeze]

I did not say that the Bible was out of context. I believe the way you are using the Bible is out of context. Loving your wife the way Christ loved the church is not an angry, jealous love. Christ loved us FIRST. He served us by dying on the cross. He gave everything that he had to love us. God's love for us is not a jealous love. God's WILL for us may be jealous, in that we don't follow Him always, but I do not believe God's love is a jealous, angry, hateful love. Therefore, I believe the verses you are using are out of context for what you are trying to say.

 

[IslandBreeze]

And BTW--"godly anger?" What, exactly, is that? I don't believe there is such thing as Godly anger. Those kinds of hateful emotions do not come from God Almighty. Anger is NOT a godly trait in any way, shape or form.

 

[MagicStar723]

Just some things about that little out of context verse for you. I feel I should bring others to your attention.

Exodus 20
5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
Deuteronomy 6
15 (For the LORD thy God is a jealous God among you) lest the anger of the LORD thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth.
Deuteronomy 29
20 The LORD will not spare him, but then the anger of the LORD and his jealousy shall smoke against that man, and all the curses that are written in this book shall lie upon him, and the LORD shall blot out his name from under heaven.
Ezekiel 16
38 And I will judge thee, as women that break wedlock and shed blood are judged; and I will give thee blood in fury and jealousy.
Zechariah 8
1 Again the word of the LORD of hosts came to me, saying,
2 Thus saith the LORD of hosts; I was jealous for Zion with great jealousy, and I was jealous for her with great fury.

So would you say God is un unjust and unloving God? He acted out of jealousy after all.

And by the way, as far as this quote goes

Does God not join two together? Do vows not include the words To have and to hold for as long as you shall live?

Godly anger is not evil.

I agree with looksgood.

 

[Koop]

Jealousy Definition After looking closely at the definition, the emotion called jealousy has nothing to do with hatred or malicious acts or emotions. It is a fear. Fear is bad yes, without doubt. So jealousy is bad. But it is called for when actions show that it is warented. Fear is the oposite of love, so in a perfect world fear/jealousy would never come into view. But in our fallen world we are called to fear cirtain things. We should fear God no? Because we are fallen and we make mistakes fear is inevitable. Even if we felt it was wrong humans just cannot fully control thier emotions. They can control their actions however. I feel that jealousy is unfrotunate and is a bad thing. But it is ineveitable. What we do jealousy is what makes it truely bad. If we choose to act out of love and trust even through jealousy the effects of it are minimized.

 

[looksgood]

Why would you think I am saying we are to be angry? Anger is for the wicked. Jealousy provokes to anger against the wicked. But Godly anger is also Godly love. God breaks us in His anger, to show us love in restoring us. What I am saying is that if a person is with another and one of them starts playing around with someone else (be it adultery or just flirting) then it is good to be jealous with a Godly jealousy. I showed verses where God was angry and moved in anger. It is BECAUSE He loves that He becomes jealous. That is what I am tring to say.

I am not saying we should not trust, or should be paranoied. I am saying we should hold on to each other. Not out of hate but out of love. It tears the heart out of us when we see our love flirting with another. Even if we know it will go no where it is still WRONG! God is jealous for us because of His love. That is why I think we should be the same.

 

[looksgood]

And BTW--"godly anger?" What, exactly, is that? I don't believe there is such thing as Godly anger. Those kinds of hateful emotions do not come from God Almighty. Anger is NOT a godly trait in any way, shape or form.

And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses, and he said, Is not Aaron the Levite thy brother?

How many verses does God say He is angry? Anger does not nessecarily mean hate. Though God has said He hates things. Godly anger is to be angered at unrightiousness. It is to be angered over murder and things like that. If we are not angered over sin we are in trouble.

 

[looksgood]

Yes koop, with all things there is a balance.

 

[LadyBird]

How on earth could jealousy be a good thing? It is a horrible feeling to be soooo jealous of someone. I am going to have to agree with Cammie on this one. I understand that it is nice to know that someone is "fighting for you," but that is totally different from jealousy. Jealousy destroys relationships if anything, I mean what good could possibley come from being jealous? Nothing. It shows a lack of trust if anything.

 

[looksgood]

I simply do not understand this. Maybe someone could show me scripturaly how it is not right? God after all has laws on jealousy. I see no where He calls it a bad thing. And I have shown verses that support it. Maybe there is a break down in comunication. Maybe what everyone calls jealousy is not what I call jealousy? Please give me biblical reasons it is wrong.

 

[SirKenin]

There are two different types of jealousy. There is God's jealousy, which is an intolerance of disloyalty, and man's jealousy, which is a fear of losing position or affection. The verses you quoted are not pertinent to worldly relationships and are used out of context.

Man's jealousy will tear any relationship to shreds. I've been through it enough to know.

There are three key elements to any relationship. Trust, Communication and Respect. Without the existence of all three of these elements, there is no chance, no prayer, for the relationship to survive, much less flourish.

It is impossible for you to be jealous if these three elements exist. Jealousy can not co-exist with trust and respect. If your partner can not look at another person of the opposite sex without you getting jealous, something is lacking in your relationship.

 

[LadyBird]

There are two different types of jealousy. There is God's jealousy, which is an intolerance of disloyalty, and man's jealousy, which is a fear of losing position or affection. The verses you quoted are not pertinent to worldly relationships and are used out of context.

Man's jealousy will tear any relationship to shreds. I've been through it enough to know.

There are three key elements to any relationship. Trust, Communication and Respect. Without the existence of all three of these elements, there is no chance, no prayer, for the relationship to survive, much less flourish.

It is impossible for you to be jealous if these three elements exist. Jealousy can not co-exist with trust and respect. If your partner can not look at another person of the opposite sex without you getting jealous, something is lacking in your relationship.

I couldn't have said it better myself!!! ^Wonderful post drfeelgood .^

 

[evita]

I've never considered jealousy a good thing...this is an interesting topic.

 

[looksgood]

There is God's jealousy, which is an intolerance of disloyalty, and man's jealousy, which is a fear of losing position or affection.

Ah ok, so we are having a break down of comunication. The jealousy I am speaking of is not one of fear, but one protection so to speak. What y'all seem to think I am speaking of is not jealousy. It is covetiousness. It is wanting something you do not and can not have.

What I speak of is the type that is unwilling to lose what it already posseses. It is right for a man to protect His woman.

Let me put it this way: A woman flirts with another man. She isn't planing on going further. Her man becomes jealous in that she is dancing on the edge of destruction. So He lets her know it is not right and he is jealous. She in turn sayes "Don't you trust me?!"

Who is right? She was flirting with another man even if that is all it was it is wrong. He let her know it is wrong and that he wants to be the only man in her life. Is his trust in her in question? Or did she violate that trust in playing like this?

I still believe a man should be jealous for his woman. And I fail to see how the verses I spoke of were out of context. There is a differance in what I am speaking of as jealousy and what you think I am saying. Because the jealousy I speak of is not distrust, it is protection.

 

[looksgood]

jealous of someone.

Ah see, I am not saying it is good to be jealous OF someone. I say it is good to be jealous FOR someone.

The differance is that one is desiring someones downfall, and the other is desireing their lifting up. There is danger in silly things.
2 Timothy 3
6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,

A flirt is danger. Flirting with another can lead a person away because we can be carried away. I am not saying that one can not have friends of the opposit sex. I am saying they should NOT be the ones we turn to when we have another. It is not a lack of trust. It is protection from even the possability.

If you dangled over a clift edge on your tip toes and I said stop, would it be wise to say "Don't you trust me?"