I've made a decision

[LovebirdsFlying]

I met with my therapist today. I have been discussing a return-to-work program for which I am now first on the waiting list for the next opening, but since I'll be marrying in less than a month, I'll no longer receive Medicaid coverage. I'll be covered on *his* insurance, but I won't be considered needy enough for the return-to-work program.

Which means I'll have to cold-search for jobs on my own. Because the decision I have made is that I will NOT spend the rest of my life sitting around being disabled.

I am terrified of looking for a job when I haven't worked in years, have been on disability for a decade and a half (SSI will also disappear after marriage) and ESPECIALLY when my age, weight, and disability make it so easy to discriminate against me. I am so afraid that what has happened before will continue to happen. I will be told repeatedly that "we have no openings," and I'll be inclined to think: "OK, which is it? My age, my weight, or my cane?" Hubby advises me to consider that there might be a fourth reason--they really do have no openings--but I've had so many companies take down the Help Wanted sign when they see me coming, that I don't know what to think. They tell *me* they're not hiring, and then proceed to hire someone half my age, half my size, and in perfect health.

But if I can't get in on some program to help disabled people return to work, I'll have to do the job search on my own. And come up with some reason for the gap in my job history that will satisfy them.

Please keep me in your prayers.

Thank you.

 

[Rhamiel]

good luck and God bless you sister

 

[MrJim]

If those places are prejudging you then you don't want to be there anyhow. Be diligent and the right job will be provided.

 

[porterross]

Have you tried temp agencies? It might be worth a try to get your foot in the door.

 

[ladyt28]

LBF - pray that God opens the right doors and closes the wrong ones. Pray that He leads you to see the ads, guides you during all of the application processes and keeps you encouraged through it all. Don't question God's ability or willingness to get you through this - He will! If things don't go the way you wanted them to, don't look for worldly reasons, instead ask yourself "what does God want me to see as a result of this?" Nothing will be failure, it will all be a part of His perfect plan and I can't even begin to tell you how solid and certain I feel about this! You are a REAL blessing and will be a wonderful addition to the lucky place that gets you - I am looking forward to hearing how this goes!!

 

[Cris413]

Wow...really awesome replies here...

I would just like to add...I truely believe in God's providence...that where God guides...He provides...

I know there are needs to be met...and sometimes...when we put them down on paper...the bottom line is too much month left at the end of the money....it can be quite discouraging at times...

I believe God will honor the desires of your heart...as you step out in faith and give this over to Him...

There been a lot of chat throughtout this forum...no work...no bread for the able bodied...

Your desire to work, regardless of your physical limitations...shows an awesome heart of a servant IMHO...

Praise God.....for how He works in each and every one of us...

Php 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
Php 4:5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
Php 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
Php 4:7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

 

[GreenMunchkin]

What a huge step, sister! I can only mirror what everyone else has said This is precisely when we need to stand on the word, and truly have faith that the Lord will open doors. None of us will ever be able to expain how it happens... He just does it! He did it for me several years ago, He did it for Criada last year - He sees where He needs us to be, and He leads the way

Am worried that sounds like an awful platitude... it's really not one, sis. But God is the Father of miracles, and He couldn't care less about your age or your weight or your cane. He has a place in this world for you, somewhere He wants you to be, and that's where He'll put you. It may not happen the second you want it to, and it's so easy for us to panic and to get frustrated, but His timing is always perfect.

You're getting married, your family is now with you - God is moving powerfully and wonderfully in your life! It's His promise that He will restore everything that has been stolen from us by the enemy - so just hold on, and revel in the fact that the Father already sees where you will be, and know it's somewhere wonderful

 

[blueguy]

Well that's cool, hope everything works out in your job search and marriage.

 

[Hentenza]

Hi LBF,

Best of luck with your decision and congratulations on your wedding. I will keep you in my prayers.

BTW- As Porterross suggested, a temp agency might be a good start.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I was thinking temp agencies too. Even though, when I lived in Texas about 5 years ago, it was the temp agencies telling me they had no work available. I have a business degree and can type 70 words a minute, but I couldn't even get a job with a temp agency..... Strongly suspicious. I'm sure there was some discrimination going on. Whether it was age, size, disability, or that gap in my job history *because* of the disability, I don't know. And no, I didn't give up after the first couple of tries. I called several agencies every day, and every day I was told, "Nope. Sorry. Nothing."

I remember seeing features on 20/20 and similar news shows, where they sent a slim woman and a heavy woman out with similar résumés, and the slim woman got all the jobs while no one would hire the heavy woman.

My son-in-law has been in restaurant work for 12 years, and he tells me he faces discrimination too. He's actually been told by employers that "we only hire female servers," and by patrons that "I want a girl serving me." And, he assures me, he's talking about places other than Hooters. Most of that discrimination, he says, comes from older people who think of restaurant servers as young women, and that's what they expect to see. I didn't experience the same thing myself as a nursing assistant, but I had male co-workers who did, and I have heard elderly men complain to me that yesterday they had a male aide taking care of them, and this time they're glad they have a "girl."

I'm rambling slightly, but my point is that discrimination does happen.

However, I haven't yet done a job search in the Pacific Northwest. Maybe it's different here.

I won't actually be job searching until after the wedding, so I can put the correct name down the first time and not have to go back later and change things.

If anyone knows of any encouraging experiences, along with your prayers and other help, I would very much appreciate it.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I've got something to encourage myself.

My son-in-law, who is job searching now, is in a program that the food stamp office referred him to. He and my daughter were there today. As they understand it, you don't have to be on Medicaid or any other assistance program. All you have to do is sit through a few classes on how to fill out an application, and other stuff most people already know. And they have a program for older, disabled people like me.

 

[rmw8855]

The temp agencies that my company uses hires larger women frequently (or at least I assume they do based on the applicants they send to my office) so it may not be as big a problem out here.

I'm in Southern California and we are pretty image conscious here so it may not be a problem anymore

All you can really do is trust God to provide

 

[rmw8855]

I've got something to encourage myself.

My son-in-law, who is job searching now, is in a program that the food stamp office referred him to. He and my daughter were there today. As they understand it, you don't have to be on Medicaid or any other assistance program. All you have to do is sit through a few classes on how to fill out an application, and other stuff most people already know. And they have a program for older, disabled people like me.

That's wonderful news

 

[GreenMunchkin]

LBF, how are you doing on this whole thing now?

 

[LogosRhema]

Um. Can I be real, just for a moment? I'm not trying to be harsh or mean, but... I realize there's only so much you can do being disabled, but if you are concerned about your weight inhibiting your opportunities, why don't you do something about it?

Besides jobs... the years on your life will be longer, health issues wont be as frequent... etc etc etc.

Of course maybe there's only so much you can do. Again I'm not trying to be mean, just thinking logically here.

Please don't be offended by this...

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Logos, I know you obviously didn't mean to be offensive, but I have medical issues and am on medications that cause weight gain. It isn't easy for anyone to lose weight, and it's even harder for me. I can literally go days without eating and gain weight. At any rate it's not like I can just decide to lose weight and do it, any more than I can just decide not to be disabled, and not be. Even if I could lose weight, at the rate of 2 pounds a week (which is pretty darn fast) I couldn't lose a visible amount of weight by the time I plan to look for work.

I received a call this afternoon; that back-to-work program I was at the top of the list for called me and said I can get in Thursday. While I still have Medicaid coverage, I am jumping on it. I wasn't planning to do active job searching until after our wedding in less than three weeks. That's so I can have all my ID updated, and not have to go back and change my name afterward.

I'm seeing hope.

 

[GreenMunchkin]

God is good, sister

And, if losing weight were easy, it wouldn't be a multi-multi *billion* dollar/pound business. I say this as someone else who is trying to lose weight. It's not easy. In fact, it's about the hardest "addiction" there is to give up.

 

[Alpine]

Of course maybe there's only so much you can do. Again I'm not trying to be mean, just thinking logically here.

Logos, I'm sure she is aware of her problems. Try to remember just because something is logical, does not mean it is the kind or loving thing to do.

LovebirdsFlying, very intrusive question, if you don't feel like answering, please don't. I'm curious what your disability is.

 

[LogosRhema]

Logos, I'm sure she is aware of her problems. Try to remember just because something is logical, does not mean it is the kind or loving thing to do.

LovebirdsFlying, very intrusive question, if you don't feel like answering, please don't. I'm curious what your disability is.

Its a matter of opinion, clearly she wasn't offended and knew my heart was in the right place. I went out on a wabbly stick to say what I said to someone I did not know personally, but she knew that I wasn't trying to be a jerk.

 

[Alpine]

Its a matter of opinion, clearly she wasn't offended and knew my heart was in the right place. I went out on a wabbly stick to say what I said to someone I did not know personally, but she knew that I wasn't trying to be a jerk.

Speaking from the viewpoint of knowing some very overweight people, and being pretty overweight myself, we know we're fat. We don't need you telling us.

In fact, most overweight people struggle with not feeling bitterness towards the people they run into on a daily basis who tell them they need to lose weight, or leave articles on the table with a weight loss plan. It gets a wee bit old after awhile. I'm glad she responded with so much grace. It speaks much for her character. However, I'm having a difficult time keeping my mouth shut this morning.