I've had enough

[shyguy87]

Hi. I am new to these forums and have a problem to confess. I am a 21 year old male and have been masturbating regularly since I was 14 and viewing porn for the last 3 1/2 years. The other problem is that it is homosexual porn. I know that I am not gay and have no desire for a relationship with the same sex. But I have always had a deep need for acceptance by male peers. I'm very shy and don't make friends easily so it is a struggle for me.

I am also concerned that the porn is becoming an addiction. I find myself looking at it when I feel bored, lonely, depressed, etc... I know that the way to beat this is to make good relationships with other guys, but have always had a hard time fitting in. The loneliness in my life creates a lot of problems. I have tried joining a campus crusade group at school, but so far I can't seem to connect with people there. I just need a lot of prayers. Any advice would also help. Thanks.

 

[Criada]

Hi, shyguy, welcome to CF.
A huge number of people have this problem.. porn really is addictive, and it is hard to stop viewing it. But admitting your problem and wanting to change are a huge step in the right direction.
I don't know whether your issue is with online porn, but if so, it is a really good idea to put a filter on your pc so that you can't access those sites.
K9 is a very good, free one which you can customise so that it doesn't stop you accessing sites you actually need.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this in real life? It is good to have an accountability partner who can help you.
There is also a forum here at CF specifically for men who struggle with this.. you can find it here:
Pornography addiction support

I am praying for you, brother
God bless you.

 

[UnitynLove]

Hello brother, I know that you are struggling and I pray that God helps you through this and I am praying for you. Why don't you try spending that lonley time with God?

 

[SavedSinner7]

hey shyguy,
I understand entirely what you are going through. I've had very similar struggles to you. I've masturbated regularly since I was 12 or 13 and have viewed pornography for nearly just as long. It is highly addictive, especially when it begins when we were too young to know any better. You will definitely be in my prayers as I hope I will also be in yours.

If you'd like, we could keep in touch by email where we can talk more openly about these struggles. It hasnt been until recently that God has finally shown me the extreme error of my habits and has helped me battle them. I would love to share this with you. Let me know.

God bless

 

[dave712]

Hey shyguy
Ur alone there bro and totally understand where ur coming from.
Ive also struggled with my purity and have also struggled t build Godly frienships with other guys and have struggled to connect and feeling s of lnoeliness.

For my areas of temptation I now atttend a Salt group, for guys streugglwing with, sexual addcitions, porn etc and provide accoutanblity, etc. God of course is my strength. Im not a pro counselor or anything but as a brother in Christ your welcome to PM for prayer,or whatever.
keep fighting bro
DL

 

[apologia25]

Hey bro,
I just wanted to enourage you by leting you know that many struggle with what you struggle with. I have fought it for many years. My encouragement to you is to first set up boundaries by getting k9 software cause it is amazing, once you get it setup the key is getting another to give the password too. this is important. Many Christians think that by leaving the temptation in front of them and overcoming. Well we need to put the temptation behind a huge guarded door. that is possible by using K9. Secondly Jesus tells us that if our hand cause us to sin then we should cut it off lest it corrupt the whole body. It is like putting our sin on a restraining order. That takes work. It takes time to recognize what your triggers are and remove them. Its like exteme amputation. Once you have the k9 on your computer, the next step then is to deal with the masturbation. The best way to take this on is day by day. You take the amount of days you go without and go it day by day. Let's say you make it 7 days or even 3 then you fall, well get up and try for 1 more day. In the case that you fall multiple times in a day just try for a day without. Basically one small step, one small victory, is doable, while trying huge amounts of time will lead to discouragement. Oh ya most importantly after you have setup those boundaries you gotta spend time in prayer and God's word. When you feel like you're going to fall, go and take a walk and pray, go out with a friend, just get out of the environment that leads to it. 119:11 says you gotta hide the word in your heart so that you might not sin. fight the good fight bro, if you have any questions you can pm me

 

[GT123]

i have at one time in my life felt a desire for acceptance from others.

turned it into elitism at first [before i got saved], but then [after i got saved] i came to feel sorry for the world's inhabitants, and no longer desired to feel accepted by the world for...

friendship with the world is enmity with God

if the world loves you, you're not trying to please God you're trying to please man. i hope that helps in some way.

 

[davmcn]

Hi,
I'm new here, but I've had the same problem a while ago. I found my way out of it by simply stopping and admitting it to people i trust. I'm sure yah can get over this little bump in life , and get on with the rest of your amazing life

Good Luck Mate,
Dave

 

[SavedSinner7]

Hi,
I'm new here, but I've had the same problem a while ago. I found my way out of it by simply stopping and admitting it to people i trust. I'm sure yah can get over this little bump in life , and get on with the rest of your amazing life

Good Luck Mate,
Dave

I'll add to what Dave has said by adding that I believe the biggest help in overcoming any sort of sex addiction is my confiding in trust-worthy, Christian people around you. Accountability is certainly not overrated. The Bible says to confess our sins one to another, not because our forgiveness rests on human shoulders but because God knows that He can use them to help us immensely. I know in my own life, unconfessed sins are the greatest snare.

 

[tjwallace2]

Hey there...I just want to reinforce a lot of what everyone else here as said.

I have been in that situation...it's one thing to the next...it's never enough and we always want something more. And eventually, we realize we're living two different lives. I would have been ashamed for any of my real friends to know what was really going on inside of me.

About the same time, I was experiencing a loss of my relationship with the Lord...I was turning from Him in many ways. Similar to you, I got involved in Campus Crusade at my campus...and it was hard for a long time...I never really fit it. At our fall retreat my junior year, I shared my real-life store and shared with everyone my same sex attraction and since then it's amazing how the Lord has taken something so dark in my life and made it such a blessing.

I wouldn't trade this struggle for anything because of the way He has been able to use it in my life...sure it's frustrating at times, but it's the only reason I've grown so closely to Him.

So I would love to talk to you about Campus Crusade and getting involved and stuff, because I have been there. I am actually hoping to go back to my campus (Indiana) this fall and start a ministry specifically addressing issues like same-sex attraction.

Would love to talk.

 

[sweetmusicman]

You can visit settingcaptivesfree.com

It is an online help for all sort of addictions. You can chose and enroll to the one that fits you; in this case sexuall addiction.