I've always believed

[emsquishi]

I have always believed in God and Jesus, was brought up in a christian home by my mother and I was baptised when little and then again by my choice at about 13. I have always had issues with my mum. I became a 'party' teenage and didn't want to follow the rules of God. I guess I let my faith and believe slip. I had my first child just before I turned 18 and second at 20. The relationship with the father wasn't the greatest and we split up in 2004. I have since become engaged to an awesome man and had another child. I am now 27 (in 2 days). My ex and my current partner didn't come from any type of religious family's and I guess I just put God behind me, although in my heart I know he is there and real. I started reading the bible again a few months ago and praying and spending time studying the bible and asking God to forgive me for tuning my back on him and asking for forgiveness and to show me the way back to him. The thing that is the hardest is I don't have any kind of Christian friends or family to help me. Something happened with my mum and my children and we no longer speak to her, it is a very long story. I am worried that even though I have forgiven her for some things that she did, am I still wrong to not have anything to do with her? She may be a Christian and have a strong faith but things she has done and said and still does is not healthy for me and my family and I feel like I can't have her as part of my life. My children are actually scared of her and don't want to see her at all.I don't know if I am doing the wrong thing? I have one sister who is also Christian and very involved in her church but I feel like I can't talk to her either as she still talk to my mum. Then I have another sister who doesn't talk to my mum and I don't even think she believes in God. She is very against the church and religion. I talk to my partner about it sometimes, he knows I read my bible and pray and believe in God and his word. He believes in God and believes we all have a purpose given my God, but as to anything else, he doesn't really know as he has never been taught. I guess my struggle is what do I do about the situation with my mum and in these troubling times in the world how do I prepare myself and my partner and my children. I guess I am scared that I wont be able to share the word of God with them and save them when I don't know enough myself. I feel I need to find a good church or someone to help me, but I guess I am scared not so much about what people will think but how do do it when I don't really know what I'm doing. Any advice please

 

[sbbqb7n16]

well... you sound pretty scared. and that's okay you may not see it right now, but God is drawing you to Himself and He has a plan for things to work out. You'll be okay.

The first thing I would suggest is to find a good church in your area. As awesome as we all are on here () we can only do so much. Find a good church where the pastor sticks to teaching the Bible in a manner that you can learn, and you feel comfortable "plugging in" and serving the community.

The 2nd thing would be congratulations on the engagement I wish you the best! Keep loving your kids and your new husband.

As you grow spiritually, you should become better able to deal with the tough situation with your family. I wouldn't worry about that right now. Focus on growing you and your kids, and you will be ready to deal with that situation when the time comes.

In the meantime, if you're forced to deal with that situation before you are completely ready, just remember "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Treat your mother how you would like to be treated - probably with honesty, openness, forgiveness, and mercy. Just love her - and trust God to carry you through.

Good luck with your new life

 

[Johnnz]

That's pretty complex. Joining a healthy church would be useful.

Family? They so often cause us big problems. If you mum is judgemental of you then that is a barrier which she needs to address. Family can be great, but also a great pain and we must walk wisely when they aren't really there for us.

John
NZ

 

[marie.c]

So, I'm only 17, and I can't say I know that much about it, but... do you think maybe you should think more about not talking to your sister? I don't know what your situation is, so this may be way off, but don't you think it's a little unfair to make your sister choose between talking to you and talking to her mother?

It's probably nothing at all like your experience, but I live in northern Europe, where kids start drinking and stuff really young (12 or 13), and I have a friend who goes to a LOT of parties, and gets really drunk (she came to school drunk this morning - a Thursday - because she was at bars until 6 this morning), and sleeps with a lot of guys (many of whom have girlfriends, which she likes - she says it makes it more exciting). She's only 16. She is, frankly, a very very messed up person, and when she's doing stuff like that I feel like I have to distance myself from her. But we're still very much able to be friends the rest of the time (when she isn't drunk and trying to convince some guy to cheat on his girlfriend...), and I try to have a positive influence on her. We've been talking more lately about important things...

Anyway, I'm just thinking that maybe you should try to reconcile with your sister, because even when there are difficulties in relationships, if both people in the relationship are willing to try, and especially with God's help, we can maintain it, and love each other despite everything we do wrong... and maybe, eventually, when more time has passed, your relationship with your sister will help you reconcile with your mother.

And definitely try to find a church. Just go to different congregations in your area (go to the service and whatever coffee/fellowship they have), and then choose the one that has a service that your comfortable with and a community that seems welcoming.

Anyway, that's my two cents... Good luck, and congratulations on the engagement!

God bless.