I'm a 17 year old male.. I've been a Christian my entire life. I've been off and on about God for the past 4 years. There is no doubt in my mind that God exists, or that I SHOULD follow him.. But every time I do, I just end up straying away, and things get worse and worse. My Dad was a truck driver and my mom is a stay at home mom, But 2 years ago my dad died in a truck accident and we we're left with life insurence income that has got us this far.. but its running out, and I recently lost my job about 2 months ago, I feel horrible for having to mooch gas money off my mom because she doesnt have a Job either.. I've been praying that God will help me to find a job.. but no one seems to be hiring now. On top of that, one of the only things i enjoy doing, is playing music. I want to play music like Flyleaf, and Skillet, in a Christian band.. But the only people I ever meet that want to play music like that, aren't christian, and I end up falling in with them. I'm sick of going through a bunch of secular bands, because it always ends with me feeling empty. I've prayed that God will help me to find the right people, to make music for Him, in His name, but ive been looking for that for almost 3 years.. I'm just starting to lose faith.. I know I shouldn't be.. but it's just really hard, going through the same routine every day..
Im just looking for any job in the world so I can help my mom pay for stuff and a group of christians that would like to write christian music with me, not asking to make it big or anything.. if it happened, cool. But just for fun..
It just doesnt seem like what i'm asking should be hard.. but its been almost impossible. I've prayed and prayed.. I dont know what i'm doing wrong.
Im just looking for any job in the world so I can help my mom pay for stuff and a group of christians that would like to write christian music with me, not asking to make it big or anything.. if it happened, cool. But just for fun..
It just doesnt seem like what i'm asking should be hard.. but its been almost impossible. I've prayed and prayed.. I dont know what i'm doing wrong.