It's got to be me, not them.

[Lady Bug]

I'm not OK. My fault or not.

I don't know how often this happens to people who are grieving but the last thing that a grieving person wants is for people to leave them. I know it's only online people but I think that it could end up bleeding into real life. I have been accused of not putting in effort or taking advice, etc. I think that the worst thing that can happen to a person when they're grieving is to lose a friend.

I wrote this back to the person:
Hi G. Ever since my dad, my behavior has changed for the worse. I am more lonely yet more derelict in responding to people. I have been unable to understand my behavior. My life is lonely, empty, and has no purpose. I have been unable to word my problems. I will have to express a disagreement (well, you would probably disagree, that is) that the last thing I need when grieving is for someone to "leave" me, but I suppose that with the way my behavior is portrayed, you think I don't need anyone. I can't understand my own self and I feel basically like a zombie who complains of loneliness but has become too lazy and inert to respond to anyone. It does hurt to see you "leave" because I feel that anyone leaving (no matter how sporadic the content) is not beneficial but I don't want to look like I'm forcing anyone to be my friend. This is the second person who has been like this with me; there must be something wrong with me.

---------------
Sadly, he's kind of right. What am I even doing, wallowing in loneliness yet not maintaining contact. You don't get it and neither do I.

 

[joymercy]

I could be wrong, but I think that your truly traumatized self needs to heal in body, mind and spirit.

Wounded souls need some rest and nurturing and care giving.

You will indeed feel lonely, however, being inert is necessary in order to recover.

Have some peace and quiet in your home at last, and sleep well and deeply

A true friend will bring over some cooked meals and drop them off for you or some other type of care package.

This is not the time to berate yourself or for anyone else to berate or judge you over your needing time to yourself in order to heal.

Find something soothing at long last that you can enjoy, such as a nice long bath, or listening to soothing music

 

[Michie]

LB, I know the grieving is a process but I know that since I have known you, you have always suffered with intense loneliness, depression and a constant state of worry and anxiety. Not exactly motivating having to deal with those things. I think now might be an opportune time to seek out some professional help to help you move beyond those issues to help you. Of course you are dealing with grief but the issues I’ve mentioned have been a constant battle for you. A lot of people simply aren’t equipped to deal with those issues with no reprieve or light at the end of the tunnel. It can be very draining and feels like a hopeless effort where they may need to step back and refuel themselves. It does not mean they do not care. It does not mean the friendship is necessarily over. It may just mean they need a break. Friendship is mutual support and care for one another and if one person is feeling sapped emotionally, and feels the support or mutual interest is not reciprocated…they may simply need time to reevaluate the relationship and how healthy it is for them as well. Prayers that you find peace and happiness.

 

[chevyontheriver]

I'm not OK. My fault or not.

I don't know how often this happens to people who are grieving but the last thing that a grieving person wants is for people to leave them. I know it's only online people but I think that it could end up bleeding into real life. I have been accused of not putting in effort or taking advice, etc. I think that the worst thing that can happen to a person when they're grieving is to lose a friend.

I wrote this back to the person:
Hi G. Ever since my dad, my behavior has changed for the worse. I am more lonely yet more derelict in responding to people. I have been unable to understand my behavior. My life is lonely, empty, and has no purpose. I have been unable to word my problems. I will have to express a disagreement (well, you would probably disagree, that is) that the last thing I need when grieving is for someone to "leave" me, but I suppose that with the way my behavior is portrayed, you think I don't need anyone. I can't understand my own self and I feel basically like a zombie who complains of loneliness but has become too lazy and inert to respond to anyone. It does hurt to see you "leave" because I feel that anyone leaving (no matter how sporadic the content) is not beneficial but I don't want to look like I'm forcing anyone to be my friend. This is the second person who has been like this with me; there must be something wrong with me.

---------------
Sadly, he's kind of right. What am I even doing, wallowing in loneliness yet not maintaining contact. You don't get it and neither do I.

I accidentally hit the ‘haha’ response. I corrected it to ‘friendly’, which is accurate. Praying for your continued healing.