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It's all back again I think

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dbot

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About once every month I have to refocus my life on God.

Well the other night, I really tried. I went for a drive, I prayed about it and everything, and when I got home, I was going to read a book that I have.

Well while on the drive, I said something to the effect of "God, you need to come before her in EVERY situation", which I believed.

But when I got home to read the book, I saw she was online, and so I started talking to her. Things were pleasant, so I figured God might have been blessing me for trying to get back to things.

I think if I had talked to her for just a bit, and then made an exit, things would have ended up great. Instead, I stuck around, and ended up saying something that seemed to upset her. I could tell even over the internet that something was wrong. So as a result of me screwing God over, my friend is mad at me, or was mad at me, and the past....36 hours have been terrible. In fact, this whole week has sucked pretty bad.

But even in spite of all of this, I still trust God's direction. I had the thought yesterday that God can use this to turn everything around into something great. In fact, its even possible that it was nessecary for me to go through this...for whatever reason.

But I'm still just inredibly unhappy about life right now. It seems less and less likely that I'll be getting the miracle that I've been hoping for.
 

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dbot said:
About once every month I have to refocus my life on God.

That could be part of the problem. I think the apostle Paul would agree that such a thing should be done daily, not monthly. I say that not to judge you, but just as an observation that we pray for "daily" bread and that God desires fellowship with us on a daily basis.

dbot said:
Things were pleasant, so I figured God might have been blessing me for trying to get back to things. I think if I had talked to her for just a bit, and then made an exit, things would have ended up great. Instead, I stuck around, and ended up saying something that seemed to upset her. I could tell even over the internet that something was wrong ......... It seems less and less likely that I'll be getting the miracle that I've been hoping for.

If you will settle for God blessing you with a new friend, I've got some free time, send me a PM.

dbot said:
So as a result of me screwing God over, my friend is mad at me, or was mad at me, and the past....36 hours have been terrible. In fact, this whole week has sucked pretty bad.

I'm sorry to hear that. If you believe, and do not doubt, then October will be a good month for you. God certainly desires to bless you. We must deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Jesus, if we desire to be his disciples and experience the peace that surpasses understanding.

dbot said:
But even in spite of all of this, I still trust God's direction.

God does rebuke and chasten his children:

Rev 3:19 "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent."

We must repent of all our sins, stop being selfish, and love our neighbor as ourselves. Then and only then will a person find peace, because there is no peace for the wicked:

Isa 48:22 There is no peace, saith the LORD, unto the wicked.
Isa 57:21 There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked.

So long as we continue to hold on to the wickedness that is in our hearts, we will never know peace. But when we repent of those things which we know the Lord hates, and have complete faith in God's Son Jesus, then we will not only have peace, my friend, but power also.

Mat 13:15
"For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them." -Jesus

dbot said:
I had the thought yesterday that God can use this to turn everything around into something great. In fact, its even possible that it was nessecary for me to go through this...for whatever reason.

I too have experienced extensive suffering due to the lack of love of various people in my life. It is the law to love people, and when people do not love you, technically, it is a criminal act against God's law. You have been offended by someone's lack of love, technically, they do owe you. But that is why the Lord's prayer says "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors". It is a gift, an act of grace, to forgive the offenses that they have done against us. Consider when Stephen was forgiving his executioners AS they were stoning him to death:

Act 7:57 Then they cried out with a loud voice, and stopped their ears, and ran upon him with one accord,
Act 7:58 And cast him out of the city, and stoned him: and the witnesses laid down their clothes at a young man's feet, whose name was Saul.
Act 7:59 And they stoned Stephen, calling upon God, and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.
Act 7:60 And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

They may not deserve your forgiveness, but it is a gift. We receive the gift, from Christ, paid for in his blood, then we pass on that gift to others, tho they too deserve it not. Hang in there my friend, everything will be alright. Even Joseph was thrown into a pit, falsely accused, put into prison, and so forth, to build him up to be the man that he needed to be to protect Egypt from the famine. The Lord may have very great plans for you, and this furnace of affliction which you are in now will serve only to bring out the shimmering gold that lay in the ore of your heart.

dbot said:
But I'm still just inredibly unhappy about life right now. It seems less and less likely that I'll be getting the miracle that I've been hoping for.

The less you believe it will happen, the less likely it WILL happen. Hope against hope. Call into existence those things which are not, as though they were.

Rom 4:17 (As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were.

Be at peace little one. Send me a PM, as I too am seeking friends here. The Holy Spirit is with you, he has not abandoned you, he has not left you an orphan. He is omnipresent, and God is your Father.

Mat 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Believe, and do not doubt.

Mar 11:23 For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

You do have power as a worshiper of Jesus Christ. Be strong my friend.
 
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