It is not who you date, it is who you marry?

ewq1938 said:

Expect pics to be not recent.

Click to expand...

Matthew Yen said:

Online dating is something that I was thinking about getting into. I have no experience with it at all. Also, I am afraid that too much weight will be placed on appearance alone when going into online dating. For anyone that has tried it before, what are the pitfalls that come with appearance being such a large factor in whether or not someone will choose to pursue a relationship? Also, can the image that people present of themselves be trusted or should it be accepted that there will be a certain amount of dishonesty within everyone’s profile?

Click to expand...

As someone whose current girlfriend is from an online dating site, I can say that it really depends.

Many people will throw up photos that are current and will be sure to mention that they are indeed current. I put up photos of myself that were a mix, but my oldest was two years ago and appearance wise there wasn't any difference. My girlfriend put up current photos of herself.

Looks do generally get someone to look at your profile, but it's really the profile and any interaction you might have afterwards that will either have you moving forward or not at all. I did have one lady that I met tell me she was unsure of what she would see when she met me. That I looked better in person rather than the photos. However, I generally don't look good in photos. My girlfriend looked the same in her photos as she did in person. Just depends on the person.

My girlfriend and I talked for two and a half weeks, both on the dating site, then via texting and finally on the phone before meeting. Pictures were exchanged before hand as well.

It may take you a while to find the right person, or it could happen rather quickly. I made a few female friends on the dating site as we realized that we were better as friends than anything more than that. You may find that you have the same thing happen.

Best advice I can give is not to give up when it seems things aren't going anywhere.

IMO, the people who don't need the dating sites are the ones that get the most out of them. You still need social skills even through web sites. People without good social skills (the fact of which was not under their control) seem to have trouble finding someone off or online. People without good social skills are more focused on appearance (because that's what is socially easy and is most readily perceivable). But the significance of that for a relationship is short-term, whether one recognizes that initially or not. (There are always exceptions.)

One could argue that it would be better to spend that time focusing on the Lord. Due to our culture, the Lord may need to work on a person more than they think/want. In the U.S., the average age of marriage from about 1950 to 1974ish was 23 for males and 20 for females. It has been steadily rising since then and in 2015 was 29 for males, and 27 for females.

I recommend relying on God. It'll probably take longer than you want, but it will also increase the chances that the marriage will be happier and with someone more compatible.

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19, 1984 NIV)